Very, Very Good

June 12, 2023

In all the years that Steve and I have been grandparents, we’ve never babysat all four kids at one time.  For one thing, the opportunity never really came up because our visits to Florida were relatively brief and we all wanted to spend as much time together as possible.

But last Friday Steve and I earned our Babysitting Badges with not just four kids but six!

As it turns out, Nathan and Meagan were wanting to attend a marriage group at their church.  As it also turns out, Meagan’s sister, husband, and two kids were visiting and they really wanted to attend the group with Nathan and Meagan.  And as it also, also turns out, getting babysitting for six kids is not an easy task.

And so Steve and I bravely volunteered our services as babysitters.  Friday night, after a full day of work, we drove thirty minutes to their house to spend over three hours with a 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, and 9-year-old.  And lived to tell the tale!

Nathan and Meagan live about a block from their neighborhood’s playground and swimming pool so we spent some time there.

This is Olivia, Nathan and Meagan’s niece. Madison adores her. (Olivia has a five-year-old brother named Parker.)

When Madison wasn’t Olivia-sitting, there were geese to be chased.  (Steve took the next two pictures.)

After all the activities of the night–eating spaghetti, jumping on the backyard trampoline, riding bikes and scooters, chasing geese, and playing at the playground–we settled down with a movie so that everyone could unwind before the parents came home.

I even got some baby time–hooray for me!

And speaking of babies, this beautiful girl was worth her weight in gold as an assistant babysitter.  Steve and I exchanged amused glances several times throughout the evening as she helped keep track of her little brothers, Patrick, and Olivia,  It was like Meagan had been shrunk down to fit into a 7-year-old’s body because so many words coming out of Madison’s mouth were so Meagan-esuqe.

Madison was especially helpful with sweet Olivia, entertaining her, holding her, and eventually, putting her to sleep.

At one point, Madison boasted, “I know how to put three boys and an Olivia to bed!”

Beautiful inside and out.

Steve told me that at one point in the evening when chaos was reigning supreme (don’t forget that there was an energetic speedy dog thrown into the mix of six), he looked around and thought to himself, “This is the promised land. This is what we never thought we’d have–family living close to us.”

It made the long day and the noise and activity all worthwhile just remembering the privilege it was to be a part of it all.

When the professional parents arrived home to relieve the oldish, rusty parents, there was great rejoicing all around.  Before we left, the six adults stood in the kitchen for a few minutes, talking, laughing, and telling stories.

At one point, I looked across the kitchen at Nathan and saw him standing there strong and tall–a great husband and daddy, a good provider, and a godly man.  As I looked at him, I also noticed that as much as he was enjoying the present company, there was weariness around his eyes. I suddenly had the urge to walk over to him and just lay my head on his shoulder, to share with him a little mama love, a little mama strength.  As he stretched his arm across my shoulder, I thought, not for the first time, how unbelievable that my son had his own sons and daughter.

Young parents are always told that those crazy, exhausting days will be gone before they know it, but they never believe it. They are too tired to even comprehend it.  I was one of those young moms.

And yet somehow, there I was with those days behind me.  There I was, being sheltered in the love of my thirty-something son and remembering when he and Sarah were running around creating their own unique blend of happy chaos–just as his own kids were doing at that very moment.

Steve and I drove away from their house at about 10 p.m., exhausted but happy. We left in our rearview mirror our beloved family–not a perfect family, but a family where Nathan and Meagan are doing their utmost to raise children to love God and love others.

Those long-ago years did, indeed, pass, and what those years birthed was something truly wonderful–another generation raising another generation who will go on to create more generations that Steve and I will never see.

But maybe, when they’re telling stories on some far future day, they might remember the night when Grandma and Grandpa Smith came to babysit; when the sky was blue, the laughter was loud, the love was sweet and the world–for all its complexities–was very, very good.

 

What about you?

Did your grandparents babysit you?  What do you remember?  What sort of activities did you do?

Do you remember being told as a young parent that those years would be gone before you knew it?  Did you find it hard to believe?

What is your favorite thing about being around kids? (If you don’t have children of your own, do you have nieces and nephews?)

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32 comments so far.

32 responses to “Very, Very Good”

  1. Ann O. says:

    Oh Becky, what beautiful writing, as you ended your post. I love Steve’s comment of “the promised land!” I’m going to have to use that next time chaos reigns, as my husband and I watch our 2 grandchildren. What an undertaking with SIX kiddos, AND a dog!

    My 4 kids grew up with 2 sets of grandparents within 2 miles of us, and some great-grandparents nearby. The grands watched my kids frequently, but it became a LOT for the grandparents to watch them all after I had kid #3, so they didn’t often have all 4 at once.

    I often thought when raising and homeschooling my 4 kids, if I just had 6 hours to myself in an afternoon, I could bring about world peace! I could get so much done on the rare occasions I’d have time without kids underfoot! I remember walking with my young kids into stores, and older ladies would smile as they’d watch us. I’d say, “I’m gonna miss this someday, right?!” And they would confirm that would be the case.

    Now, after my husband and I watch our 2 grandkids, we sit in total silence on our drives home from their place, or don’t speak at all after they leave our home. We love them so much, but we cherish our quiet life together. I’m happy for both of us for the opportunity of peace and the occasional chaos that is nearby, now that we live around family! Like you observing the weariness in Nathan, I remind myself when I see that in my daughter, I was there. Life moves on. So glad to be able to offer the occasional comfort and assistance now.

    When I was a young mama, I observed so many older people, especially women, who were sad at being empty nesters, and that made me sad that I would be sad someday. I started asking older couples about what it was like once their kids moved out. One man replied, “Well, now when my wife and I decide we want to go somewhere, we just go!” And an older lady told me that she loved all ages of her kids, that each had advantages. Those words stuck with me, and I’m just so grateful to be where I am today. What a gift to have family around!

    • Becky says:

      Ann,

      What a lot of wisdom you packed into your comment.

      I can definitely relate to hardly talking at all once the kids leave our house or we leave theirs. Just to bask in a few moments of silence before getting on with life is nice. And it always reminds me of what young parents deal with, being with the noise and the demands and the needs 24/7.

      Yes, those days with young kids do pass but in the middle of them, they sure seem like they will never end. As you said, just for a young mom or dad to have six hours alone would be huge!

      I love the advice from the older lady that each age of her kids had its advantages and just to enjoy them as they come. So important to remember for all parents in all of life’s stages.

  2. Ellen W says:

    My son is only 5, but the 5 years have passed so quickly that I’ve learned to savor it. I know it won’t be long before he doesn’t want to snuggle up with me when he has a bad dream, adorably mispronounce words like spaghetti, or think it’s fun and cool to run errands with me. I try to cherish it all (I reserve the right to do somewhat less cherishing when the teen years start 😉).

    • Becky says:

      Ellen,

      Those first five years are on lightning wheels, aren’t they? So sad when those tiny, snuggling months/years are gone. And yes, the teen years bring a whole new season of emotions. The love will still be there; just a little forbearance and patience mixed in!

      Enjoy these 5 year old moments.

  3. Lesley Silk says:

    Well there it is! The magical writing of Becky Smith. I love when you get on a roll and the words falling on the page come together so beautifully. I would recognize your writing anywhere.

    • Becky says:

      Lesley,

      You are so sweet to send such affirming words to me; thank you for that. It makes me happy to feel like I have honed my own style throughout all these decades of writing.

  4. Phyllis says:

    My maternal grandmother died when I was 4 so I don’t remember her babysitting me much. My grandfather did some but my brothers spent more time with him than me. My paternal grandparents lived an hour to two hours away so never babysat us much. I did spend a week with them when I was about 9. They took me to The Fun Club, a local kids’ TV show. My mom’s aunt probably babysat us more than my grandparents.
    I have two nieces, 23 and 24 and a nephew who is 1 day older than Sarah. My mom babysat my youngest niece from 9 weeks until she went to school then after school and summers until she was probably 12.
    I don’t have any kids of my own. My favorite part about working with babies at work is when they snuggle up with me and fall asleep.

    • Becky says:

      Phyllis,

      I know. There is is nothing on this earth any better than a baby snuggled in your arms sleeping. Oh what joy!

      The Fun Club sounds cool! It must have been pretty marvelous for your to have remembered it all these years. I know you enjoy your nieces and nephew in your life; such a blessing!

  5. LeeAnne says:

    All of my grandparents lived out of state. However, my brother and I always got to go to my dad’s folks every summer for a couple of weeks. They lived in a very small town in Nebraska. Grandpa was a wheat farmer. Our three boy cousins would always be there too. We would ride bikes all over town. Go to the swimming pool every single day. Play at the grade school playground down the street and climb up the metal tunnel-type fire escapes (that grandma said to stay out of!!). I would ride along on the golf cart with grandma while the boys would go do farm stuff with grandpa. Back then, we got to ride the go-cart on the unfinished and unopened interstate (again grandma said NO!…lol). SOOO many wonderful memories!!

    I totally remember being told to enjoy the little ones, that they grow up so fast and it will go by in the blink of an eye and boy, was that ever right!! I love this stage of my life and being a grandparent but it makes me sad that I just don’t remember so many things of my kids’ childhoods. I think it’s because we were just so busy, and trying to get through the days, emotionally, physically and financially. My, how things have changed.

    Your babysitting stint with the six and the dog looks like quite the adventure!! You brave souls!! 🙂 What a wonderful little helper Madi is!!

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      Your stays at your grandparents sound idyllic. I love your repeating refrain of “grandma said no.” Sounds like she said no to a bunch of fun stuff!

      And how fun to get to ride go-carts on an unopened interstate. That would be my grandsons’ dream come true!

      So glad you’ve you’ve had all those memories to accompany you through your years.

  6. SueEllen says:

    How VERY brave of you and Steve to babysit 6-under-ten! Very nice that Madison was such a big help. Sometimes we don’t realize how very much little minds & ears soak up of our words and actions as Madison evidenced. It reminds me of a song with the words “be careful little eyes, what you see” and “be careful little ears what you hear”. Also, I think we have the same sectional as Meagan and Nate. I hope you have a wonderful week.

    • Becky says:

      Sue Ellen,

      How fun that you have the same sectional! Theirs has worn like iron; still looks good after four kids and three years!

      You’re right that kids soak up so many things. The way Madison was spouting off Meagan-isms–really brought that truth home.

  7. Sharyn L. McDonald says:

    Our time for babysitting has come to an end. I sometimes remember when the two youngest girls would stay overnight and use our huge bathtub to play in. And “grandpa can we go to the park” was said quite often. No, our grandparents never babysat us. When we were very small, they lived far away and when we lived closer to them – no babysitting was needed. It is/was nice to babysit, but also nice to have a quiet home again. Our son and his family live in Oregon, but the “kids” are in their 20’s and early 30’s. Our daughter lives about 6 miles from us, but grandkids are in their 20’s. Great grandson lives about 45 miles away, but our daughter gets dibs on babysitting.

    • Becky says:

      Sharyn,

      You’re right. Babysitting is wonderful but having a quiet house when it’s done is pretty wonderful, too. We’re just so thankful to be close enough now to have the chance to watch the kids from time to time.

      Going to the park with grandpa is always a highlight of a kid’s life. Our kids have done it with Steve and love it.

      Thanks for sharing your memories!

  8. Patti says:

    So glad that your grands are close by and that you can enjoy babysitting them amidst the chaos. I really only knew one grandma and she lived in Kansas and we in California. I saw her ever other year but she never babysat me and while I have great memories of staying with her on our trips, I wouldn’t say we weren’t especially close. I always envied kids who I would see out shopping with their grandma.
    I didn’t have kids of my own but was single when my niece and nephews were small. I doted on them, took them places, and loved every minute of the chaos.

    • Becky says:

      Patti,

      How wonderful that you had a niece and nephews to hang out. I know their parents appreciated you taking them places and giving them a break. So much fun to get to be Aunt Patti!

      I’m sorry you didn’t get to see your grandma any more often but at least it was enough to form some memories of her and with her and that’s the important thing.

  9. Robin says:

    I’m so glad you have your grandkids nearby. And I love that this is “the promised land” for you and Steve. You have endured so many years apart from those kiddos!

    My own grandparents lived near my family my whole life. I think my grandma cried when we moved from our house that was 5 minutes away to our new “far away” house–it was a whopping 12 minutes away. 😂 Every Thursday, from 1st grade to 12th, my grandparents would pick us up from school, bring us to their house, help us with homework, and fix supper for us kids and my parents who would join us after they finished work for the day. I would frequently spend Friday night sleeping over at their house. Saturday morning I would go climb in bed with grandma and grandpa while we decided what to do with our Saturday morning. As I got older and my grandparents got up there in age, the balance slowly started shifting. It changed so slowly that I don’t think any of us noticed. I did more of the cooking and cleaning and driving to appointments, and in the end as my grandma was dying of cancer, it felt like we had come full circle–me putting her to bed for naps, me trying to squeeze one more bite of dinner in her, me caring for the woman who for so many years cared for me. I truly think grandparents are the greatest gift in the world, and your grandkids are so lucky to have you in their lives.

    • Becky says:

      Robin,

      Oh my goodness, such a treasure to have all those many years with your grandparents! I can’t even imagine how grateful your parents were for their help and steady presence in your life. That is so beautiful to think of the relationship you were able to form.

      I love your thoughts about the gradual shifting of the balance in your relationship. It happens so gradually, doesn’t it? Small things, small moments and before you know it, the shift has taken place and, as you said, the roles completely reversed. But as the roles reverse, I believe the love takes on a whole new dimension. It’s a win-win all around.

  10. DeLynn says:

    “I knew grandmothers were different than mom’s when I saw my…” Moms is plural, not possessive! I really should have used “mothers,” — the flow would be better! Thank you, Becky (from a fellow word person! I meant to comment on your recent post — I so understand your frustration with numbers! I have been doing some basic accounting for my husband’s business for a number of years. My job is going to be permanently finished soon—I am SO thrilled! Numbers are not my friends. He so sweetly prayed for me the other night when we were praying together—knowing I was working hard to finish!)

    Thank you for correcting my error! 🙂

    • Becky says:

      DeLynn,

      Yes, we are definitely word persons; small errors like that bother me, too! I wish there was a way for commenters to edit their own comments because all of us look back at stuff we write and want to change things up or correct something. But just holler, and I’ll be your very own personal editor!

      Wonderful to have a husband to pray with you and to rejoice with you when your numbers assignment is over! 🙂

  11. DeLynn says:

    Becky, your sister said it best: “this is one of the Golden Posts.” Your younger readers may not totally think so, but those of us who are older sure do.

    What a delight for you to be able to care for your grandchildren (plus some bonus ones!) for an evening. It is even more special as it’s not going to be an unusual occurrence any more! The sweet Smith kids are so blessed to have you and Steve nearby now (as they were to have Meagan’s parents!). I know you will create many wonderful memories and will also affirm what Nathan and Meagan are teaching them about God and life. That is a treasure.

    I was particularly close to my maternal grandmother (for whom I was named). Two of my favorite memories are of going to the library with her (I am sure that helped my love of reading!) and of baking cookies with her. She was always generous in the amount of cookie dough she allowed me to eat–and of course I loved the baked cookies as well! I am almost 10 years younger than my next oldest sibling. I became an aunt at 12. I remember the first time I saw my mom bake cookies with my nephew. Unlike my grandmother, when my mom gave me the beaters to lick, she had basically scraped them clean. I knew grandmothers were different than mothers when I saw my mom give a beater to my nephew with a big hunk of cookie dough on it. 🙂

    I am a grandmother now (of 3, soon to be 4). My husband and I are so blessed to live near them and get to have them over a lot. They are such delights to us! However, like so many others, I had no idea about how fast the years whiz by. I would go back in a heartbeat to the days of having our four at home. I would like a few do-overs, but mostly I would love just the fun of it all.

    Blessings on you!

    • Becky says:

      DeLynn,

      I love your insight on “I knew grandmas were different.” So true. We grandmas tend to do a lot more spoiling than parents did; that’s half of the fun of this role, as you well know.

      Congrats on the soon arrival of your fourth. I’m so glad you can leave near them and be a part of their lives. Blessings untold!

  12. Dale Tousley says:

    I was lucky enough to live in the same town as my grandparents and my maternal grandmother took care of us every Saturday night to give my parents a break….my grandfather was an invalid, he had had a stroke so my grandmother moved to an apartment and we spent every Saturday night there, she always told us stories of my mom growing up, and put our hair in pincurls every night, getting us ready for church the next morning….we had tea parties and she taught us how to make apple pie…she was wonderful. My paternal grandmother lived right by our church so after church on Sunday, we would go to the bakery, pick up crumb buns and go to her house for brunch, she lived with my great grandmother…..and yes I remember those days when the kids were so young, we had moved out to the country and it was kind of lonely and my husband worked and traveled a lot and I remember my Mom saying someday when you look back, you will see these were the best days of your life….and I said “Really? but I am so tired by the end of the day” and she said believe me the days you aren’t picking up toys and giving baths, you’ll miss them and I sure do, my kids are in their 30’s now and I would take those days back in a second!!! There’s that old saying when your kids are young “Days seem to last forever but years fly by in the wink of an eye.”

    • Becky says:

      Dale,

      Oh, I remember pin curls. What a fun thing to be reminded of!

      You (and your parents) were so blessed to have grandparents nearby to lend a helping hand; what a grand treasure trove of memories you have collected, from church to apple pie to crumb buns.

      Love reliving your memories with you.

  13. Ginny Y says:

    As I read this post it took me back to the memory of a Kiebler family gathering at Steese’s in Grove City with a very active Nathan running around playing with his cousins! I remember the smiles on everyone’s faces but especially those of Ken and Vernie as they watched.

    Enjoy having everyone close! Very happy for you guys.

    • Becky says:

      Ginny,

      How fun to hear someone that remembers Nathan running around with his cousins as a little boy. What a special memory! And I can just picture the expressions on Ken and Vernie’s faces. They loved their grandkids!

  14. Debbie says:

    I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and with my aunt when I was growing up. They are all gone now and I miss them
    terribly. Not a day goes by that something reminds me of them. From my nana letting me play tea parties with her beloved china tea set brought over from England to my grandpa making me toys from jar lids and wood. How I miss those simpler times. Summers spent with my aunt and uncle, picnics on the lawn, playing outside with the girl next door. I have all these sweet memories that my granddaughters love to hear about. I remember asking my grandmother to tell me about when she was a little girl and it’s so sweet to have my granddaughters ask me the same.

    • Becky says:

      Debbie,

      It’s the stories passed down from generation to generation that are so special. We need to never lose the stories!

      Just today, Madi was opening a birthday present and crumpled up the paper and threw it behind her shoulder “like great grandpa Smith used to do.” The stories remain.

      It sounds like you had so many wonderful experiences growing up and so many wonderful stories to pass along.

  15. Suzanne says:

    I love this post! So much fun and joy (and exhaustion) with grandbabies!

    I didn’t live close to my grandparents (they were 13+ hours away) so I only have a couple of experiences with them without my parents being there. They were wonderful though and I miss knowing that they are there.

    The years go by so quickly. Those baby years are tough but oh so treasured! How does the saying go “the days go slowly, but the years go fast” when talking about children especially.

    I enjoy my (tiny) grandchildren so much but the 16 month old wears me out – he never stops moving – ever! He likes to walk up and down the stairs. I think I get about a mile worth of stairs whenever he stays with me. My mother puts chairs in front of the staircase if she has to be with him because who really wants to climb up and down the stairs that much?!? New baby girl (3 weeks old) is just a chunk of love – beautiful and still sleeping a lot!

    I have 9 nieces and nephews that we spent a lot of time with in addition to my own kids and we loved playing at the pool, the park, just at home. Water balloon/gun fights were epic in the summer! Once they were a little older we’d go “tubing the Hooch” and that was a blast. Can’t wait to take the grands to do that. Anyway, I love their joy and their zest for life and new experiences. Kids make you old and keep you young all at the same time 🙂

    You guys are incredible parents and grandparents!

    • Becky says:

      Suzanne,

      Your mom is a smart lady, putting chairs in front of the steps. Those toddlers will flat where you out because, as you said, they never stop moving. Their energy is amazing.

      And a new 3-week old granddaughter? What a precious age; they are just created for cuddling.

      Enjoy whatever adventures your summer takes you on!

  16. dmantik says:

    Oh, Beck, this is one of the Golden Posts, evoking laughter and tears and everything in between. 🥲
    I’m so thankful that you share your incredible gift of writing with us!

    You and I were sure blessed to have two sets of wonderful grandparents in our growing up years. I was just thinking of them the other day and remembering the fun times we had with them: camping trips, little treasures from their second hand store, yummy grandma-made goodies, hugs, prayers and so much joy. You and Steve are following in their footsteps well.

    So proud of the Junior and Senior Smiths and the Smithettes!

    Love, Deb

    • Becky says:

      Deb,

      Thanks for naming the post “golden.” So sweet of you to affirm my writing.

      Yes, I have so many memories from the grandparents; my favorites were probably grandpa’s second hand store. I’m sure that’s where I (and all of us girls) got our love of thrifting from.

      We just had all the Smithettes and Jr. Smiths over for Father’s Day lunch; more memories lived!

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