It’s 4:14 a.m.
After sleeping very little, I am sitting by mom’s bed, once again being serenaded by the early-rising whippoorwills as the dawn starts to peek out from behind the Wisconsin hills.
Another day of vigil has gone.
One breath has come and then another.
Heart still beats. 110 beats one minute. 45 beats the next.
Breathing slows and stops momentarily. Picks up again steady.
Mom is strong. Everyone in our family knows that. Has always known that. She’s had to be strong to have made her way through eighty-seven years filled with myriad difficulties.
But right now we are wishing she wouldn’t be quite as strong. Or quite as determined to hold on. We are wishing she would grab the angel wings that are hovering in the room and hold on hold tight for the trip.
She is literally skin and bones. You can touch her shin and feel nothing but bone. The place where she had a plate put in her elbow after a bad break is clearly visible. When she is awake, she looks very earnestly into our eyes and tries to express herself but we are only catching a fraction of the words now.
Yesterday, I checked on her while she sleeping. I put my hand on her forehead and her eyes came open just a slit. I said, “Hi, Mom. Remember, you’re going to heaven soon.”
Her eyes suddenly opened huge and she flung both arms straight into the air and repeated with a loud voice, “I am going to heaven soon!” She and I both rejoiced together until Ruth and Debbie came running to see what the ruckus was about. It made us all smile to see that momentary visit of joy.
On Tuesday, she rallied, which many patients on hospice do. They feel a lot better and they talk and interact with their loved ones. Our hospice nurse said we were so fortunate to have had several family members present for those wonderful few hours.
She even asked to get in her wheelchair and go out on the back deck! She wanted Debbie to brush her hair first and put in some hair clips. If a woman’s gonna go to all the trouble of rallying, she wants to look good for it!
While we had a few of us gathered, we sat down to do final planning for the service and all the elements that have to come together before Sunday. Not an easy task, but a necessary one. So thankful for siblings to help bear the load. (Thanks Carol, for the following photos.)
Before my brothers and sister-in-law headed out we had a chance to gather around the bed while mom carefully explained to us thoughts that only she understood.
And so we continue the vigil, almost certain her Homecoming will be today.
Tomorrow when the whippoorwills sing, our hope is that Mom will be too far away to hear.
You have beautifully honored your mom with these words and you especially honor her with your life. She was blessed to have you and your sisters as her daughters.
I am thinking of you because even when they are ready to go and it is time, the pain is also deep for those left still here.
Sending you a big hug and love from Canada.
Glad you are able to make a few more good memories even in these final moments and all of their grief. Know I’m hoping with you.
Such a bittersweet time. Thinking of you all.
Becky,
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. I remember my mom hanging on near the end. It was only after (at a nurse’s suggestioand protect n) that we told her it was okay to go, that we would be allergic, that she flew to heaven. A mother’s will to watch over her babies is so strong.
Prayers and hugs,
Linda in Pittsburgh
I hope this isn’t crass but listening to what you and your siblings are doing for your mom and how she rally’s at times – it’s almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Such a hard time. I remember when my grandfather had a stroke. There were several nights that I stayed with him at hospital. He would practically stop breathing then would gasp for air. Prayers for a peaceful passing on to Heaven!
Thinking of you all
Continuing to hold you all close in prayer and thought. I remember my Mom’s “Rally”. It confused me as I had never heard of it before. But it was nice to see “her” again.
My heart is with you and your family.
Precious moments….I’m so glad you are able to be there to share them with your family,
what a home-going journey
The waiting is so hard but a very precious time. So glad you are there. ❤️🙏
Thankful for lucid moments.
It’s always amazing how close Jesus is in the waiting. Sending hugs and love and prayers your way…
The waiting is difficult. My dad also was too strong to go to soon. I once heard you could survive 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water, and 3 minutes without air. My dad went a week without water… Prayers for your stamina and a peaceful passing.
My heart aches for you having to let your mommy go but it rejoices that she will be in Heaven and that she is joyful for that too! It seems she has lived a very long and wonderful life filled with love and happiness and the fact she gets to have her babies by her side as she makes her final journey Home to her love, the rest of her family who went before her, and her Jesus is something special for sure! Much love to your Mommy, to you, and to all of your family. 💜
Oh how my heart aches for you all.. such a middle of the road feeling.. you want them to stay but you want them to go. I have been through that with my dad and a couple of other people. You can just feel the touch of God on the loved one and you know what beauty is awaiting them once they give in to the pull of Heaven. Sometimes death is not the worst thing. My prayers are with you all as you watch and wait for that last breathe before the soul arises to meet their Lord and Savior. ♫♪ I’ll fly away, oh Glory, I’ll fly away….♫♪
Sending lots of prayers. My mother In law was called home to be with Jesus on Tuesday evening. She was blessed to have her loved ones by her side as we said goodbye. It is not a. Easy journey but she was ready to be with the angels in heaven.
Adrianne,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law’s passing. Thankful she was surrounded by family. What a wonderful way to go.