Today I have an especially lovely item on my mama agenda.
I get to drive to Virginia Beach, pick up at my daughter at college, and go Christmas Ball dress shopping with her. This is the first time we have ever shopped together for a date outfit so I figured I had better transport myself right on up there so that we could do our mama/daughter thing in honor of this big occasion.
We have a list of thrift/consignment stores we are going to check and we will also look at some clearance racks at the mall.
We will have our work cut out for us for several reasons:
1) Sarah is a size two which is not the easiest size to find.
2) She is only 5 feet tall and most dresses are too long.
3) She doesn’t wear most “traditional” gown colors, i.e., red, black, purple, fuscia, white, etc.
4) The majority of available dresses leave a lot to the desired in the modesty department.
5) Our budget is rather limited.
And so if we finish up our shopping day and actually find something that overcomes all of those challenges? It will be a happy happenstance, for sure, possibly even requiring a happy dance by her and/or me.
Regardless of the results, though, we will just have a lot of fun just getting to hang out.
And if all else fails, she can wear the dress she got at a thrift store almost four years ago for her junior prom which she attended with a gal pal. But my mama heart is hoping we can find something new (even if it’s pre-loved) for this new season in her life. I will let you know how it goes.
Speaking of balls, proms, and dressing up occasions, I wanted to re-post something I wrote the year after Sarah attended her junior prom. I truly love the challenge this post extends to all of us to find out who we are and learn to be at peace with that person.
Last year Sarah attended her junior prom with a friend and had an enjoyable time. And she also (might I add), looked stunning in her thrift store gown.
This year, however, she decided not to attend her senior prom saying one prom was enough. Steve and I didn’t push her because we know her well enough to know how well she knows herself.
I do have to admit though, that I had a few teeny misgivings on prom night, even to the point of shedding a few tears, especially as I looked outside at the luminously lit early evening. I knew that most of the high school seniors were, at that very moment, lining up to have pictures taken with their gowns and their giddiness, their coiffures and their corsages.
Going to the prom is, after all, a rite of passage. It’s a chance for girls to feel like princesses and for boys to polish up their shoes and their manners. It’s an opportunity for teenagers to step out of their uniforms of jeans and flip-flops and transform themselves into temporarily glamorous grownups.
It didn’t take me too long to dry my mama tears however, because there was dinner to make and evening chores to accomplish. But as we sat down together to our simple, Saturday night supper I couldn’t help but ask Sarah,. “Are you sad about not being at prom?”
She looked surprised at the question. “Sad? No. I’m glad I did one High School prom but I don’t want to do it again.”
She went on to say, “Some people have fun by being in a big room with lots of people and loud music. And other people have fun being in a quiet spot with a soft lamp and a few books and a few people. And I am that kind of person.”
When Sarah had finished the dishes and gone back up to her room to her books and her quietude, I thought, “Well! Just because Sarah isn’t in a gown doesn’t mean I can’t take pictures of her on prom night!”
And so I yelled up the stairs and asked if she wanted to take some prom night photos—even without a prom. She said, “Sure!”
We started off with a pose by herself. . .
and then she was joined by a handsome fella of the non-High School variety.
Sarah was trying to kiss Steve’s cheek but he was too tall . . .
and he wasn’t bending down far enough.
It took several giggly attempts until success was finally achieved.
What a dashing couple.
After Steve went back inside to finish his sermon, Sarah posed for a few more shots.
She even got photo bombed during one of them.
This is one of my favorites.
As she and I finally headed back inside the house, it occurred to me that this small snippet in the Smith household was something I wanted to share with you because it contains a lesson that is important for the young women in our lives to know.
And that lesson is that you don’t have to accept other peoples’ definitions of what “cool” is. Sure it can be cool and fun and exciting to go to a High School prom and Sarah is really glad she got a chance to do that.
But if at some point in your life, prom night comes along (or some other important event), it’s perfectly okay to opt out, to stay home. It doesn’t make you a social misfit, it doesn’t make you a loser–it just means you’re a person who is confident enough to be content with your own choices and be comfortable in your own skin.
And if your only kiss on that big night happen to come from your daddy and your doggie—well, that’s perfectly fine, too.
Because you have the pleasure of your own company to enjoy.
Glad you were able to find a dress for Sarah! I have the same vertically challenged issue that Sarah has, I’m 5 foot also. Can’t say that I’m anywhere close to a size 2 though! I remember one time going to a store and buying what I thought were slacks. I was amazed that they didn’t have to be shortened. When I got home and looked at the tags, I realized they actually were meant to be capris. Oh well, it saved an alterations bill, I am in no ways a seamstress.
Phyllis,
That’s funny. Sarah and I were talking about that same thing yesterday; we said if we could find a calf length dress, it would be a long dress on Sarah! Nice to save on those alteration bills, isn’t it? 🙂
Cantnwait to hear about the shopping trip. Hope Sarah finds the perfect dress, but no matter what she wears, she will be beautiful. . .especially with her inner beauty shinning through!
Linda in Pittsburgh
Linda,
Thanks–we had a great day together. Actually ended up buying something at a “new” store for cheaper than the consignment store!
Becky – have you looked at Talbots – the sales there? Sometimes they have amazing sales. I love their clothes. I’m one to dress rather modestly too, and I’m short (shorter than Sarah). I particularly love their fit and flare dresses. The first time I put a Talbots dress on I felt like a princess. I wear their dresses for work, sometiimes super dressy, other times with chaco sandals.
Brooke,
I actually love Talbots and am always happy to see that brand show up at thrift stores so I can buy the stuff cheap. And I’m like you, I LOVE the fit and flare dresses.
Sarah was going for something more dressy than what they carry but that is a great store!
Good Luck on your shopping adventures. It is tough finding that perfect dress and with Sarah being a size 2, you have your work cut out but I can only imagine that laughter that will be shared between the two of you. 🙂 I love the dress that Sarah wore to her first prom so having that as your back up, you are very lucky.
Mel,
Yes, it was definitely reassuring to have another dress to call back on; took a lot of the stress out of the venture!
I can’t wait to hear how the shopping went. It is so hard to find a dress, I’m thinking Sarah prefers pastels? The colors you mentioned would be too harsh for her coloring I think.
My oldest son only attended his junior prom also. Interestingly, being a very outgoing and popular young man who participated in every extracurricular activity the school offered, the night of his senior prom he preferred to stay home and we watched a movie that he had been wanting to see. I didn’t care for the movie but “watched’ it the whole way through, mostly just cherishing the evening with my boy on the night of his senior prom.
My second son did attend his senior prom. A sweet, homebody, solitary kind of person, his personality is very much like your Sarah’s. But a girl asked him to go to the prom and he didn’t want to be ‘that guy’. Meaning that although he did not want to go, he did not want to say No to her. So he went. I could see it was uncomfortable for him, but he was very gracious and I was very proud.
I admired both their choices, as I admire Sarah’s. All great kids!
Lesley,
Yes, Sarah definitely prefers softer, more muted colors. The strong colors pretty much overwhelm her.
I loved hearing the stories of your sons and their different prom experiences. It’s amazing to me how each young person looks at the prom in their own unique way; some love to go, some don’t love to go, some go because it’s the thing to do, some go because they are being nice.
I know you were especially proud of your guys back in those prom years. Your second son accepting the girls’ invitation even when he didn’t want to go was especially gallant.
Good luck with finding the dress! ?
I know I would have a hard time finding a grown myself . I am even smaller than Sarah. I would not like to wear something that goes all down . As for colors I love blue or purple and red
.. But the modesty part would be difficult. Haha I dont want to wear something wirh bare should er and I only look good with spagetti straps and no way I am showing the front of me and for my back I only would feel fine with showing of my bsck .
And I am still saving my junior prom dress..^^ I have some dream of wearing it for nice events or even my future my wearing (and it is from 2010 )
Katrina,
It’s nice that you have a special prom dress you are holding on to; you never know what occasion will come along when it will be just the right thing to wear.
It’s so fun to dress up in lovely things every now and again, just for a change of pace! And I can see blue, red and purple being very lovely on you!
What a fun day! I know you two consummate shoppers will find the perfect Sarah dress. 🙂 only sad thing? I’m not there! Sniffle.
Deb,
Well, just put yourself on a plane and get on down here!!
Miss you!