At Steve’s checkup last week, we were given the unwelcome news that he has a hairline fracture in his femur.
We had a clue that something was amiss when, after Steve’s x-ray, the surgeon himself showed up in the exam room. (He wasn’t scheduled to see Steve during that visit)
Dr. Smith showed us the x-ray and pointed out the break, an occurrence he said happens very occasionally during hip replacement surgery. He told Steve that he would need to keep weight off the leg as much as possible so that the fracture wouldn’t grow worse and require further surgery.
Up until that point, Steve had been putting weight on the leg per the post-surgical instructions. So that wasn’t a great thing. But at least it explained why his pain had been getting worse instead of better.
So where does that leave us?
Well, the original estimate was that he would be able to transition from a walker to a cane in two more weeks, as well as get back to driving. However, this fracture will set his recovery back at least another 4-6 weeks which is not exactly the news we wanted to hear.
Steve took the news like his dad would have taken it–calmly and pragmatically. However, I was a little more disheartened, seeing our time of getting back to normal receding further and further into the distance.
So that is our not-so-happy news. Our long, solitudinal days will stretch out a while longer as we adapt to this latest bump in the road.
I continue to spend my days doing as much as I can to care for Steve. A few days ago, that even included filing his toenails.
Since he can’t reach the toes on his surgical leg to clip his nails, I clipped them for him but ended up with a rough spot that caught on the sheets. So I grabbed my (pink) nail file and moved into my role as the Parson’s Pedicure Person.
Since there wasn’t much done to my hair or makeup in the above photo I’ll add another one with at least a little bit of an attempt at beautification. Since we never see anyone, my beauty routines have been greatly simplified.
At any rate, in addition to toenail filing, the organizing of meds is an ongoing thing. Thankful for sticky notes and Sharpies!
I am also responsible for putting on, taking off, and plugging in his “electric socks,” as we like to call them. They squeeze his calves at regular intervals to keep blood clots from forming.
You’ve seen those memes that have the title, “You just had one job?”
Well, that is true of me in this case. We were given two of these ice packs to fit into his “ice girdle” (try not to get swamped by our technical terminology), and I have somehow managed to lose one of them. How do you lose something like this? I emptied the entire freezer and it is not there. Or anywhere. Sigh. At least I have the nail filing down pat.
Thankfully, Steve has found a project to keep his hands and mind busy: he is replacing the inner workings of the clock that has been in the family since the 1940s. The chimes had stopped working correctly so he ordered some parts and got to work.
It’s still a work in progress as he configures the clock’s calibration.
And how do we know the calibration is off? Well, the other day at noon, the chimes rang a total of thirteen times, which was just a little unsettling.
But as I thought about it, thirteen chimes actually fit very well into this surreal season of life we’re in. If anyone asks how we’re doing I can just say that our lives seem to be set at 13 o’clock because everything is just a little off-kilter.
came over last week for dinner and then we watched a couple of episodes of The Chosen. Sarah looked especially cute in her hat and boots.
Love these two!
And love these two, too. This was the day they signed the papers to sell their home in Florida. They will be closing on their Charlotte home soon.
As excited as they are about coming to NC, they are also sad about leaving their Tribe behind. All the cousins are as close as siblings so they will miss each other terribly.
So many transitions in life are tinged with both joy and sadness.
Steve and I will certainly enjoy having these four darling human beings living within thirty minutes of us instead of thirteen hours. So grateful.
I haven’t mentioned our Manteo house for a while so let me bring you up to date on that.
After replacing the roof, mitigating the mold in the crawl space (which required installing a new moisture barrier, new insulation, and a dehumidifier), replacing cabinet fronts, replacing flooring, painting, upgrading the master bath, refinishing the wood floors, and a few bazillion other things, we finally felt like we had done everything in our power to make the house competitive in a housing market impacted by rising interest rates.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, after six months on the market, we finally got an offer and we are scheduled to close on April 12.
And then? Last week, we got a call from our realtor to impart to us the grand and glorious news that the septic system has failed. Yep. Right before closing.
Now there are a few things in a home you can get by without, but a septic system is not one of them.
It will cost us about $9,000 to replace the system, move the water line, and bring in four truckloads of dirt to replace the clay that is there presently.
Thankfully, our wonderful realtor, Rob Petty, is handling the logistics of getting all this work done since it’s difficult overseeing that kind of project from a distance. And it appears as though we are still on track to close on schedule.
The failed septic tank just wasn’t great news to hear, especially within days of finding out about Steve’s fracture, coupled with the increasing unexplained pain he had been dealing with.
To make life even more fun, our credit card account was hacked three times last week. We got two new cards overnighted to us and the account was hacked again almost immediately. It turns out that we had been buying outrageously expensive Louis Vuitton pocketbooks in Atlanta and didn’t even know it! Our bank has assured us the hole has been plugged so we are hopeful that the Vuitton buying spree will come to an end.
So to sum up all the preceding paragraphs? Thirteen o’clock is definitely our current time zone.
A time when life is still sort of the same but in other ways, not even remotely normal-ish. We are still looking for a church, jobs, and a community. We are facing additional weeks of this in-between quiet season where Steve is basically confined to the couch and the bed.
In short, we are waiting for the hands of the clock to make their final round on this chapter and ring the chimes to start a new normal. In the meantime, we’ll just work at keeping our sense of humor and emotional equilibrium intact and continue to hang out here in this weird season, this weird time.
Life at thirteen o’clock.
What about you? What kinds of things have been filling your recent days? (Since my days are pretty non-exciting, it’s interestng to read what my sweet readers are up to.)
Have you ever heard of someone having a hairline fracture after a joint replacement? What was their story?
Are you living at thirteen o’clock in any way?
Oh goodness. Thirteen o’clock indeed. I too had a lot of drama selling my Raleigh house in the fall. This is probably normal real estate business in normal times, but it felt like a big let down after the COVID real estate frenzy. I, too, wanted multiple offers tens of thousands of dollars above asking, all within 24 hours!!! But alas I had missed my window. Back to the dispiriting house selling drudgery of old times.
I am responsible for cutting my cat’s claws, and my 5 year old’s nails. I assume Steve provided you with less fight than these two put up? No squirming off your lap, no attempts to scratch out your eyeballs? Well, you have to look for the small mercies these days. 🙂
Ellen,
We can so relate; we missed the selling frenzy by a short time, as well. The rising interest rates sure didn’t help. Oh well. At least we are thankful to be signing our closing papers in just two days. There will be a ton of happy dancing when that is done!
Yes. Definitely a small mercy that Steve was not trying to scratch out my eyeballs. Too funny. 🙂
Oh gosh…I’ve never heard of a hairline fracture after hip replacement. Sorry to hear that. One step forward, two steps back. 🙁
(That was an unintentional pun by the way) You are certainly a busy lady. Hang in there.
Did it work?
Well, I was just wondering of there was a way for Steve to minister to people online. He has such a gift and there are so many people who cannot physically attend church and so many people who could use prayers and encouragement. Maybe he is ready to move onto something else of course, but it must be hard to give up that part of who he is.
Glad to hear that his leg is feeling better as he stays off it. You guys are doing great, hanging in there and pushing through.
I feel like I live at 13 o’clock most of the time LOL. My life is so different than most. My priorities are different. My decisions seem odd to others. I don’t fit in that well. But that’s OK, I am learning that I have some autistic characteristics so that explains a lot, which is actually a relief. It’s all good.
Sarah and Gage look great, it will be wonderful for Sarah to have Nathan nearby, it’s been so long 🙂
Hoping you are taking care of yourself, resting and eating well, maybe a walk here and there. Caregivers need care!
Lesley,
I think it’s wonderful to discover new things about yourself, even later in life. It helps you to understand you better, and that’s a good thing! And how refreshing to be someone who doesn’t live life “normally.” Normal is pretty boring.
Steve did some online sermons during Covid and it’s such an odd thing to speak without people in front of you; I’m not sure he enjoyed it very much. 🙂 But you’re right. He will definitely need to find new outlets for his ministry.
I’ve joined a nearby gym and am getting in some good exercise which helps with stress. I’ll be glad when Steve and I can take walks together again. Hugs!
Ugh, so sorry to hear about the fracture! I actually once did a study regarding ways to prevent femur fractures during hip replacements. It’s a tough problem! I hope the recovery is speedier than anticipated.
Robin,
How interesting that you did a study on that. We didn’t even know it was a possibility, going into the surgery. Yes, definitely hoping for an extra speedy recovery.
I have never heard of anyone having a femur fracture after joint replacement surgery but I bet it’s not unheard of. When my mom fell and broke her femur a little over two years ago, the doctor was concerned that he would have to revise part of the hip replacement that she had in 2010. Fortunately, that was not the case. Hers was an actual break though and pretty bad, not just a hairline fracture. So sorry that you are dealing with this on top of everything else.
Finding a new church when you move can definitely take some time. I was fortunate when I moved back to Kansas almost nine years ago that a longtime friend recommended her church. Since I was staying with her briefly until I closed on my house, it made sense to go with her. I liked the pastor from day one and have been fortunate enough to find a Sunday School class with other women my age along with a great teacher (pastor’s wife).
Realtors are great help when you move far away from where you’re selling a house. I know when I left Tampa, my realtor took care of several issues that the inspector found – although I think the buyer had the pickiest inspector in the area. Sorry you have had to spend even more money. I bet you will be dancing a jig on April 13!
Saturday my Sunday School class will be filling 900+ eggs for our church plant’s Easter Egg Hunt. I had reached out to the pastor to see if there was a project we could help with. His first suggestion was helping them go to neighbors and do things like trimming trees, washing windows, cleaning up yards, etc. I nixed that idea quickly telling him we were a bunch of 50-80 year-old women.
Phyllis,
Yes, our buyer also had the pickiest inspector in the area; that’s what our realtor said. April 13 will be happy day, indeed.
I loved the conversation between you and your pastor about how your SS class could help out. I think an 80-year-old woman would have a bit of a challenge doing yard cleaning. 🙂 But so nice of you all to offer to help!
Becky, I am so sorry you and Steve are going through such a tough time right now. I’m wondering if a second opinion about Steve’s hip wouldn’t be a bad idea. It is really rare that a femur is broken during surgery and the surgeon should have known it had happened. Even a hairline fracture adds to the possibility of infection. Is Steve on antibiotics now? I worry about both of your mental health in dealing with all this! So glad you will soon have Nathan and his family with you soon. Definitely something to look forward to.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Liz,
You are so sweet to be concerned; thank you!
Steve’s break is a hairline fracture; it has helped his pain a lot keeping the weight off of it which we’re thankful for. He’s been able to back off quite a bit on his pain meds.
Yes, we are definitely looking forward to all the kids and grands arriving in town. Gives us something to look forward to!
Oh NO! I had no idea bone fractures were a possible side effect of joint replacements! I’m so sorry this has happened to Steve. 🙁
You’re certainly in limbo right now with a LOT of things. I know how frustrating it is and can be, just trying to get through the days/nights without giving up on seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Doing it alone, without the support of friends is also hard. I’m very glad Sarah and Gage are nearby, and that the rest of your crew will soon be close too.
Fingers crossed for your house closing to be completed on time! Our Realtor handled EVERYTHING, including extra inspections requested (asbestos, subsurface due to failed sewer line) so all we had to do was show up at the title office to sign a bunch of papers and pick up our check. THAT was a happy, happy day.
Oh wait! Check between the sofa cushions for the missing ice pack thingee?
Stefanie,
That was such a great idea I got up from my computer to look. But alas, no missing ice pack thingee. I’ll be very curious to see where it finally turns up. This house just isn’t that big! Thanks for the thougyt.
Stefanie,
We are definitely thankful for a realtor who is willing to take on those tasks with the septic system. That would have been the straw that broke the camel’s back if we’d had to deal with it all from 375 miles away. And yes, it will be a HAPPY DAY indeed when we sign those papers. Happily, we don’t have to do it in person; it can all be handled online. Counting the days!
Thanks for your sweet words of understanding and encouragement; they meant so much.
Ugh! It took me 4 years to really settle into a church and friendships after moving out-of-state to get married. It was a bit of a culture shock. I know that length of time is probably what you don’t want to hear, but after so many times wondering “if this was your will for me to move here, why is it so hard? Did I hear you wrong?” I can finally say I love where I am and see the wisdom/purpose in it (and that may be nicer to hear). Finally finding the right church (and friends) helped a lot. But still, ugh.
I’m so sorry to hear about the femoral fracture and that exploration is delayed and the septic system blew. I will keep you in prayer for perseverance, hope and change of circumstances. I usually just lurk, but I look forward to reading this every Monday, so un-lurked to thank you for writing and to say I hear how hard the quiet and lonely-ish season is.
Jo,
An un-lurker. Hooray!
And also an un-lurker with such comforting, relatable things to say. Hooray again! 🙂
Yes, whoever knew it would be so hard to find a new church? We have looked and visited and crossed churches off and tried new ones and nothing has been a fit. However, we did find one just before Steve’s surgery that could very possibly be “it.” We just need to get back for a second visit and see if we feel as good about it the second time as we did the first. Here’s hoping!
I’m so glad you eventually found a church and friends that you love. There is definitely wisdom and purpose behind the moves and changes in our lives; sometimes it just takes a little while to discover what they are.
Thanks for letting me know you look forward to Mondays and reading the posts. That makes me happy to hear that. Blessings!
Life sure can throw us some curves. Sorry to hear of Steve’s latest problem. It seems to be easy these days. I am still awaiting my first doctor appointment regarding my sinuses. I am trying to be patient, not all that successful. I am pleased it is with a specialist. There is still so much snow in my yard, up to five feet. The sun is out today with no flakes in sight. That makes me smile. I am ready for winter to be over! I want to garden and wear shorts, not thermal underwear. I realize I sound like a pity party, but I am good.
Cindy,
Yes, it’s always reassuring to know that a specialist is going to take a look at a medical condition; you know you’re getting someone who really knows their stuff. I hope you will have answers soon.
Five feet of snow still in your yard? Ug. Let’s hope for a speedy melt and a whole bunch more sunshine days. Spring is about to spring . . . 🙂
We are getting four to five inches of snow today. Good thing I have no plans to leave the house today!
I was just thinking that God didn’t help you decide to keep that job you decided not to keep. He knew Steve was going to need you through this season 13 in your lives. I know exactly how you feel. I am doing all the hard work of giving PICC line antibiotics three times a day and packing an open wound while the doctors and nurses are making the big bucks. SIGH… Why did the Fla. kids decide to move to NC? I wish the new home were much closer to you and Steve. In Charlotte a 30 minute drive can turn into a much longer trip.
Praying that things get better at your house soon. Going to the surgeon tomorrow with the hubby to see what the next step is with his foot. It is 30 minutes or more to his doctors in Winston Salem and we have been going about twice a week. Not fun. I had to go that trip when I was getting radiation, 22 days. Still not fun. When do we get to start having fun in our retirement??
Have a blessed week.
Kaye,
I truly admire you for the medical care you are providing for your husband; I definitely think you should earn a big buck or two! Dealing with a PICC line and packing an open wound–that is a lot to deal with. I’m proud of you for turning into Nurse Kaye!
I think some fun has got to be coming soon. You and your husband have definitely paid your dues in the non-fun stuff. I’m waiting and hoping with you for the tide to turn.
Nathan and his family are actually moving to Charlotte because they want to be a part of a particular church community; they already know some people there and are excited to plug in. Nathan’s new job with Duke is also headquartered in Charlotte; even though he mostly works remotely it’s nice to be near the “mother ship.”
By the way, Steve and I were just talking about the job situation. There is not job on earth that would have given me several weeks off to care for Steve; I would have had to quit and start all over. So thankful that didn’t happen.
I’m so sorry that the challenges continue to come. You both remain close in my heart and prayers. Waiting with you for the 13th hour to tick off its dadgum final seconds and finally be done with it.
And humor me for a sec as I uncharacteristically become Susie Sunshine: This reminds me of the baker’s dozen, which means you get one extra yummy bakery item when you were only expecting 12. Only God can take your difficult 13th hour and turn it into something unexpectedly good. Don’t quite see it yet, but being on the lookout might help the sunshine peek through the clouds. 😶🌫️🌞
Love to you both.
Deb
Deb,
It’s kind of fun when you uncharacteristically become Susie Sunshine!
I love your analogy about 13 o’clock translating into the 13th item in a baker’s dozen. In other words, it turns a tough thing into a great thing! Unexpectedly good is a lovely way to view it.
Thanks for that thought and your prayers and continued words of encouragement. (I especially liked the “dadgum final seconds” Made me smile.)
Becky, you are not alone and you picked the perfect phrase to describe what I feel like our family is going through and has been going through….everything is up in the air at this point, not sure if we are moving or not, my son is going through such a dark period of his life, I was out in Kansas for more than half the year last year trying to get him back on track and finally brought him back to NC to live with us for a while, which has made him more depressed, I am very worried about his future…my husband and I are both facing some health issues and I have put off my health for the past year, finally going to the dentist today after a few years of not going…..never thought at 66 I would be facing so much uncertainty in my life….as alone as you may feel in a physical sense, just know that we are all here for you Smithellaneous wise! and in a few weeks you will have 6 more Smiths close by, hugs to you and Steve.
Dale,
I once heard the statement, “To be a parent is to let your heart walk around outside your body.” It sounds like you have been experiencing that in many ways last year.
I know that when you brought your son home to NC with you, your hope was that he would begin to feel better. How heart-rending for you and your husband to see his depression worsen instead. I can only imagine how much you have had to let slide, health-wise, as you have so diligently cared for your son out of state. And now with you and your husband both facing health issues–that is beyond tough.
I truly wish there were words to make things better. The only thing that comes to mind is the verse from Psalm 34:18. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
May you and your family feel Him near today.
Thank you Becky, he began counseling yesterday so we are hopeful. And yes I have heard that expression about having kids is like wearing your heart outside of your body and it is so true!!!!
Dale,
So thankful for hope-producing counseling. Steve and I have availed ourselves of counseling many times and have greatly benefited. Plessings.
So sorry to hear about Steve’s fractured femur. Hopefully it will heal fast.
Selling a house is not a fun thing to do. It seems like something unexpected always comes up. Praying the closing happens on April 12th. You’ve fixed everything, so what else could happen, right?
Sarah does look so cute in her hat. They make such a cute couple.
I hope 13 o’clock passes by real soon.
Love and prayers,
Joy
Joy,
Yes, we are definitely waiting very eagerly for April 12 and hoping that nothing else goes wrong in the in-between time. It can’t get here fast enough!
Thanks for your encouraging words and prayers. Have a good rest of the week!
Wow! Hoping by the time summer gets here all of these things will be behind you and you guys will be enjoying having those grandbabies near you! Glad to hear that they got to the bottom of Steve’s pain and he can continue his recovery.
We have been enjoying our first visit to Charleston. So much to see and do in this area!
We had a similar finding on the day we were supposed to close on our home in Grove City years ago, only we were in the buyer side! We actually found when they did the survey that the septic system was not on the property. The realtors jumped into action and it all worked out but that septic turned out to be a bigger problem a year or so later when it needed replaced:(.
Take Care of yourself as you care for Steve!
Ginny,
Those septic systems can be real stinkers, can’t they? 🙂
Glad you’re enjoying Charleston. We’ve been there a couple of times and enjoyed it every time.
Well Becky since you asked. I’ve been in mediation trying to get through separating our moneys and our bills and trying to figure out alimony. Then my Sarah hurt her knee. So off to the doctor we go. My sister just left here after a month staying with me. She went to a homeless shelter. She’s trying to figure out her life with her husband too. So yes I’m living at 13 o’clock. With Gods help this too shall pass. Amen!!!
Catherine, are you ever facing some challenges right now! I’m sorry to hear about the divorce; you went the extra mile again and agian. May God give you grace as you move on to a new chapter.
Steve
Catherine,
Wow. That’s a lot on your plate right now, sweet lady. May the joy of the Lord be your strength as you navigate these rough waters. And yes, this too shall pass!
Hugs to you and Sarah; I hope your knee heals up quickly.