Just a short note from Charlotte as we head into a busy day getting ready for Vernie’s funeral tomorrow.
Steve and I pulled into his parent’s house late last night and instead of seeing a dark, lifeless dwelling, we saw all the lights blazing. For just a moment, we were taken back to the hundreds of times we’ve pulled in and seen the lights on, knowing that Ken and Vernie were waiting behind those lights.
But this time, it wasn’t his parents welcoming us. It was Nathan and his family welcoming their parents. Full circle.
Meagan had washed the sheets on Vernie’s bed and pulled back the covers and turned on some lamps. What a great feeling to walk into such a welcoming room after a long day. She is such a thoughtful person.
The Floridian Smiths had come in for the funeral a little early so that the six of them could enjoy the house and backyard and little creek. Nathan and Meagan said they walked through the house over and over, smiling at some things, crying over other things. So many memories around so many corners.
The four adults stayed up till midnight talking last night and this morning, I am squirreled away in the bedroom trying to get this post written before the grandchildren spring awake and welcome us with their raucous, lovely enthusiasm.
When saying goodbye to one generation, it is a wonderful thing to have a new generation come running down the hall, arms out, eyes bright, helping us to welcome the future, whatever that may look like.
Before leaving Charlotte last week, we had the task of choosing the dress Vernie would be buried in. It actually didn’t take us long to make the choice. She has a beautiful dress that she wore to Sarah’s wedding and the weddings of two other grandchildren.
We laid it out on the bed where she and Ken slept for over four decades. Underneath the dress is their wedding ring quilt, which the women in their church made for them when they were married in 1954.
Tomorrow, she will wear that dress for the last time, along with the wedding pearls that Sarah wore at her own wedding.
The lady. The dress. The memories.
Note: On Wednesday, I will be posting a video of her life here on the blog. In the meantime, here is the link to her obituary which Steve wrote. (Apologies for the formatting issues; those are beyond our control.)
What about you? What are your memories of choosing an outfit for a loved one’s burial?
Such a beautiful dress for a beautiful soul! Sending you love as you say “see ya later” to this wonderful lady.
Suzanne,
I know. Wasn’t that so lovely on her? And “see ya later” is so much more heartening than “goodbye.” Thanks for that reminder.
What a beautiful woman – inside and out. That was a great dress for her to be buried in and for Sarah to give her pearls to her grandma. Since we did not live close to our mom, our younger sister had the honor. Wonderful memories to continue to share with each other. Thankfully you can say “til we meet again.”
Sharyn,
‘Til we meet again.
What a great reminder!
We picked the dress for my husband’s mom very easily too. It was the dress that she married her second husband in. She had been a widow for 23 years and met the second love of her life. We had a beautiful celebration of their marriage and the dress she wore was perfect in every way. So, we chose to have her wear that beautiful dress one last time.
Lisa,
I love that love story–getting married after 23 years of being a widow? Brings me a smile at the very thought. And of course, that was the perfect dress choice!
What a beautiful tribute to the beautiful life of a beautiful lady!
Emily,
She created beauty wherever she went.
What a beautiful dress! And she looks great in it! Lovely color, too.
Continuing to hold you all close in thought and prayer.
Krista,
Thank you so much for the prayers headed our way. We have felt them!
Oh, my. What a beautiful and loving obituary to a lovely, fun-loving, versatile, godly woman. Wish I could’ve known Mrs. Vernie.
My mom suffered from dementia and lived near my sister but over 2,000 miles from me. I could not be with her nearly as often as I would’ve liked, though I did go and stay a week or 10 days when I could. My sister did a fantastic job of caring for Mama. As mom’s homegoing drew near, Linda and I talked about what she’d be buried in. Mama loved bright colors and I found an elegant deep red blouse with tiny delicately embroidered (same color red) flowers on it. When we went to the funeral home after mom’s death to make the final arrangements, we had gathered up several possible outfits to choose from, I told my sister that I hadn’t been able to do much for Mama in her final days and I’d really like it if she could wear the red blouse. My precious sister agreed – even though that was a very unusual choice! So many people commented on how beautiful Mama looked, and it is a memory I’ll always treasure.
Jenny Jo,
How very special that you got to make that decision and that you went with something a little non-traditional. You sent her on her way with vibrant style!
Your writing prowess has rubbed off on Steve, he wrote a beautiful obituary for his mother. Vernie looked beautiful in the dress you chose at Sarah’s wedding, what a perfect choice. I don’t remember what my Mama wore, but I do remember that no one could find the blue dress/suit dad wanted (it was the same one she wore in our church directory family picture). Turns out, it was at the dry cleaners. I don’t know if it was forgotten when she got sick or what…that is just another mystery this side of Heaven. I’m glad the Florida Smiths were able to enjoy some time together in Vernie’s home – how special that must have been. And how thoughtful of Meagan to provide turn-down service. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers during the coming days.
Sue Ellen,
Yes, didn’t Steve do a great job on that obituary? I loved reading it.
The suit was at the cleaners? Oh my. I’m sure you looked in every closet of your house and were scratching your heads at that mystery. 🙂
Dee from Tennessee
What a beautiful dress for a beautiful lady . My mother had already shown my niece what dress she wanted ( but while i was at the hairdresser, the dress could not be found … I had unknowingly turned off my phone and I’m thankful I had bc there were over 20 phone calls I missed from my niece …and the dress was finally found .) It was puzzling though… the dress my mother had selected would have not ever have crossed my mind . But I couldn’t count the number of ladies who made a point to comment on her dress . Mother obviously knew ! I’ve told my husband to bury me in a little dress reminiscent of the style i wore when we met …52 years ago lol . I purchased it right before I became house bound. A lovely tribute by Steve … lovely . You are so blessed to have a precious daughter in law – she’s a gem . I’m so thankful that Steve’s mom got to see Sarah marry her Prince Charming . To be in the presence of our LORD … I wonder , I wonder what we behold . God bless all of you . Thankful His mercies are new every morning .
Dee,
Mother knows best–about most things in life and also, dresses for their final appearance. I love that so many ladies commented on it.
Pastor Steve wrote a beautiful obituary for his Mom. How awesome that Vernie admired Ken at the skating rink many years before they married. Meagan was so very thoughtful to prepare the nice room for you and Pastor Steve. She’s one in a million. Thinking about you and your family this week Becky.
Gloria,
Yes, I love that story about Vernie noticing Ken across the skating rink. And I just can just picture kneeling down to help his date with her skates. That’s the kind of guy he was.
I am praying for you all for peace and comfort. That dress is beautiful but she is wearing her beautiful white dress now. We buried my daddy in his jeans and checked shirt… that is what he liked to wear, so why not be put to rest in his best? God be with you all in the coming days. Much love and many hugs to you all.
My dad wants to be buried in his overalls and a plaid shirt.
I have a dress in my coat closet we saved for when my mother passes. As for my dad, he wants to be buried in his overalls and a plaid shirt. He hasn’t lived on a farm for decades but he is an old farmer at heart. He rarely wore a suit so he wouldn’t look normal in one.
Steve did an excellent job on her obituary. I had to laugh when I read his comment about the three hobbies she took up in Honolulu, though not at the same time!
Phyllis,
I love your dad’s choice of a burial outfit. It sounds exactly perfect for him.
Kaye,
I love the thought of Vernie trading her lavender for white.
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you as you remember and celebrate the life of this grand lady. So much love, so many memories of a life well lived. What a blessing to have her in your lives.
Hugs and prayers,
Linda in Pittsburgh
Linda,
A life well-lived, indeed. She showed us how to live well and how to die well.
My heart aches for each of you. I think you have made all of your readers feel as if we knew her. I am convinced she was a beautiful lady both inside and out, and I know you all will miss her terribly. Prayers of comfort and peace in the days ahead.
Bridgette,
What a sweet thing to say that I have helped my readers feel like you know her. And yes, we will all miss her terribly.
My heart is with each of you.
Jenna–thank you, friend!
Prayers for you today as you have her funeral. May God send you comfort in all the great memories you hold tight. For my father the choice was easy, and the three of us siblings agreed. He was buried in his army jacket from WWII. In the later years he would wear it to church on Veterans Days for the little celebration they did. We took off the pins but let the jacket go. The funeral home thought we should keep it, but we thought it should stay with him. He was buried at a National Cemetery. My mom was a simple lady so my brother suggested a blouse and knit jacket that she loved to wear. It was red, white and blue, so we all wore red, white and blue to her service at the National Cemetery. It worked well. She had bought a beautiful dress for my wedding, just 3 years before, but I gave that to a friend who attended many fancy events.
So glad you have the grandchildren there, to remind you that Vernie’s legacy continues through them even though she is gone. Wishing you all peace.
That is a pretty dress. I like to think of the one she has in heaven now–gloriously beautiful!
And that is a famous quilt design. Wonderful it has held up so well and long!
A big day for you all. Strength and peace surround you.
Ruth
Vernie was obviously a well loved amazing lady who is now in the most wonderful place. I absolutely love the dress you chose for her. Enjoy all those grandchildren and your time together. I will be thinking of all of you tomorrow.
Thinking of you all. What a beautiful dress she will wear for the last time
A beautiful dress for such a beautiful lady. My heart goes out to all of you and you prepare for Vernie’s funeral. Enjoy your time with your family.
I really don’t remember what we chose for my mom to wear. That was 26 years ago. I do very vividly remember the funeral though and how my son ‘stood guard’ over his grandma’s casket before it was closed. He was 9 and it was the sweetest thing ever.