My last post in the series starts with my drive through a rural Wisconsin sunset. I can’t begin to express how much these drives help my soul to reset itself and take a deep, rested breath. There are few things I love more.
The only smallish complaint I have about this particular outing was that I was unable to get lost, which is part of the joy of those jaunts. No matter how many random directions I turned at various spots in the road, I still somehow managed to wend my way back past the same fields and farms. I passed one particular place three times. Three!
What’s funny about this is that I have a horrible sense of direction and often get lost when I don’t mean to. So to not get lost when I really wanted to? Life’s not fair, folks.
At any rate, despite my lack of getting to see a variety of vistas, here are the lovely Wisconsin pictures I was able to capture.
She’s always loved loved to walk and she still gives her walker a run for its money.
One of her favorite places to hang out is on Debbie’s screened-in back porch where she reads magazines about plants and birds while looking out the window at plants and birds. It’s a full immersion experience.
Guess what she is doing in this picture?
She is reading my blog!
It is a weird feeling to actually watch someone read the words I have written. She has read a lot of stories to me over the years so I guess it’s my turn to tell my stories to her.
Speaking of stories and writing, one memory I have is of her sitting at the kitchen table writing letters to family and friends with me sitting in a little chair beside her. She would give me a pen and notebook and I would fill page after page with indecipherable squiggles because I wanted to be like my mom and write. So I guess you could say you have her to thank for this blog.
I especially enjoyed getting the chance to sit with her in church where my brother-in-law, Randy, pastors. Mom and I have attended hundreds of church services together over the past 57 years; it was a joy to add one more.
During the service, I watched Mom put her offering in the bag in the same way she has been faithfully doing since forever. You can teach your children all day long about giving but the most effective lessons are the ones that are lived out.
Here are her hands on the pew beside me–hands that have cooked thousands of meals, played hundreds of hymns, and changed 1.2 million diapers. So much life has been lived through those hands.
When the service was over, I watched as she was helped out of the sanctuary by her faithful, caregiving daughter, Debbie. Faith and family are woven through Mom’s life like strands of gold.
On the last night of my visit, Debbie and I took Mom back to her assisted living community where she occupies herself by spreading her special brand of joy and contentment. Because if there is one word that could ever perfectly describe my mom it is contented. She never complains about the things that have gone out of her life; instead, she looks around and gives simple thanks for all that remains.
When you have a parent who is elderly, every goodbye is full of emotion–love, tears, and smiles. You never know if it’s the last one.
But the sadness of that goodbye was tempered by the gladness of this scene . . . Mom enoying yet another sunset here on earth while waiting for the day when her eternal day will arise. (Photo by Debbie)
I love you, Mom. Thank you for helping me write the story of my life.
What about you? What are some of the things you learned from your mom? What was the biggest influence she had on your life?
And a question for you wonderful caregivers out there. (In honor of my beautiful, compassionate, caregiving sister, Debbie.) Do you have any advice, wisdom, or stories to share with other caregivers?
Loved all your pictures. I could feel the fall sun and smell the fall smells in them 🙂 your tribute to your mom is lovely. I looked at the pictures and read the words with tears streaming. I miss my mom daily. She went to be with her Lord and her Albert (my dad) 11 years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her. I know how much you cherish your mom, just keep on doing it. Mom knew how much I loved her and loved to help her with anything she needed help with. So happy you could go and visit. It’s so important. Wendy
Wendy,
We all need your reminder to love and appreciate the ones we still have with us. What a tribute to your mom that you still miss her so much, even after 11 years. The loss of a parent is so incredibly hard–it seems like the whole shape of the world shifts when they pass.
I’m glad you enjoyed the pictures and the post; thanks so much for letting me know. Hugs.
Becky, As you know, I always look forward to your blogs and especially your beautiful photos. One of my all time favorite (“still life”) photos is the one in this blog of the two candles and the (dof) blue lights in the background. As I was looking at that photo, I took a long, deep breath and felt the stress and tension in my body just dissipate into thin air. Thank you so much for all the effort that you put into sharing your life with us through your blogs.
Fred,
What a happy thing to read that a photo I took brought such peace to you. Thanks for letting me know.
Rural Wisconsin is so beautiful! No wonder you wanted to get lost. 🙂
What a loving, sweet tribute to your mom. You look just like her…..you’re both beautiful!
Lee Anne,
Thanks for the sweet words about my mom . . . she’s an amazing lady.
I just love this post. I love the pictures! And I’m so happy that you were able to get to visit with your family…especially your Mom. We lost my Mom last year and it hurts everyday. Even tho she was sick for awhile, it still stung when she did pass. I learned so much from her. She was like your Mom; quiet and very kind and she loved Jesus. She was a PK, so she grew up in the church. She had such a special bond with my son. She watched him for me the first 2 years of his life. He got a little too busy for her to keep up with, so he went to a day care. But that didn’t stop them from being special people to each other. He was only 3 when she died, so they didn’t have long enough. I keep pictures of her and him in his room so he can remember her. He talks about her at times, but I can see that he isn’t remembering as much, which makes me sad. I feel horrible that she didn’t get to enjoy a grandbaby for long enough!
Anyway, I’m glad that you were able to get away for The Great Fall Tour of 2019!
Krista,
“They didn’t have long enough.” So many feelings, emotions and stories behind those words. Such a great idea to keep pictures of your mom in your son’s room. Her face will stay in his mind even while your stories of her stay in his heart.
What beautiful pictures as always! I can completely relate to the hard goodbyes in case it’s the last this side of heaven. The memory this post evoked for me was when you mentioned your Mom reading to you. My next to last Christmas with my Mama I was in 2nd grade and one of my gifts was my very first chapter book – Trixie Belden #7, The Mysterious Code. I had previously read some Nancy Drew and The Bobsey Twins, but had not heard of Trixie Belden. Since I was having trouble “getting into the book”, my Mama read it aloud to me. I fell in love with the series and collected all of the original 16. (purchasing them at G.C. Murphy for 88 cents for the hard back). Thanks for the memory and thanks for the beautiful pictures.
Sue Ellen,
What a wonderful memory to recall–a mixture of mom and reading. It doesn’t get much better.
I’m sorry you lost your mom so early in life but so thankful you have those precious memories to revisit.
And how great to find those hardback books for .88! I hope you still have them.
One great lady writing great things about another great lady!
Steve,
Thanks–to a great guy!
Wonderful message in this blog! My Mom taught me love and faithfulness to God. She was an example of a loving and submissive wife as well as a wonderful Mama. I thank God He gave me her. We enjoyed going out to eat on Thursday nights as my Daddy worked second shift. We had many shopping trips. Much love. She loved the in-laws and grandchildren’s spouses just the same and treated everyone equally. I learned that from her.
Ann,
That is a great lesson from your mom about treating everyone equally. Some people never learn that. I know she was a true treasure in so many ways!
Your comments brought back a lot of past memories–wonderful ones! And very recent ones, such as your coming here!
One thing we have in common is getting lost. ? Debbie even has to help me find my way around some of these long halls!
Anyway, loved your post so much. The pictures were beautiful! Yes, I may go to a more beautiful place than the pictures sooner than you kids, but we will leave that up to the Lord. So, so happy you could come. And I love you and your family.
Love, Mom
Mom,
Thanks for your wonderful comment.
I had to laugh at your “getting lost” line. Guess it IS hereditary!
It was so wonderful to come and visit and enjoy such special times together. Love you back.
Beautiful pictures of your trip to Wisconsin.
My mother, as well as my father, talk me to have a good work ethic. I rarely missed school because I was sick. Primarily because my mom expected me to go unless I was on my death bed. Okay, a little exaggeration. I also learned to cook, bake and make candy from her. I carry on that Christmas candy making tradition because she can no longer do it.
I too am a caregiver, probably not as much as Debbie. Both my parents are still living, my mom is 88 and my dad is 93. One thing I have tried to learn myself is not to feel guilty if I do something for myself. Sometimes I get so caught up in doing things for them that I forget that it’s okay to do something for myself.
Phyllis,
That is great advice to ALL caregivers; to not lose track of self-care in the midst of others-care.
A good work ethic is a wonderful thing for parents to teach. I hear so many people say that a strong work ethic is getting more and more hard to find these days; you were taught a GREAT lesson! (And keep making that wonderful candy!)
It was fun to see the pictures you got on your drive–so pretty! I’m so glad the sun came out long enough for you to capture the beauty.
What a beautiful tribute to mom. I love it when we say the loving and appreciative things to a loved one while they’re still here rather than just at their funeral. I know this post will mean so much to mom! (And probably embarrass her just a little bit ?) my favorite line was where you said mom doesn’t complain about the things that have gone out of her life, but gives thanks for all that remains. That is so true of her and a lesson she is continually teaching me. Cause I tend to whine.
As for caring for her, I always tell her we’re a team walking this path together. I also remind her that she gave me life and took care of me for all these years, so it’s my turn to return the favor! It’s the circle of life.
It was a gift straight from heaven to have you here. Thank you for making the effort–it was no small thing. And thank you to Steve for lending you us!
Love you!
Deb
Deb,
How true that we need to say good things to the people we love BEFORE their funerals. That is something I need to keep in mind and do more often.
It is fun to think of mom reading my posts on your phone. Our hi-tech mama! Thanks again for being such a wonderful hostess and keeping all those plates spinning during my visit. You’re amazing! Love you.
I loved your story about your mom. I lost mine almost 2yrs ago now. I miss her daily. She was a tell it like it is kind of lady. She taught me that bills get paid first then you eat. She taught its ok to take in strangers. Be cause they become family. She raised 4 children on her own. She taught me to appreciate what you have. Don’t worry about what you don’t. As far as caregiving it’s the most hardest yet rewarding thing you’ll ever do. I did it for my mom when she was dying. I’ve never regretted a moment. I miss her so much. She was my rock. May she rest in God’s everlasting arms!!
Catherine,
I remember your mom well and am thankful for the good lessons she instilled in her children. I know that you have passed the same things on to Zach and Sarah.
Hard and rewarding. What a perfect way to describe caregiving. Your mom was blessed to have you at her side.
What a beautiful poignant tribute to your mom. I have a soft spot for Debbie as she carries on with the daily caregiving/oversight of your mom’s wellbeing. It sure can be daunting and exhausting, she appears to be handling it with grace and love.
Your photos are lovely, the area is so peaceful. Here’s to getting lost next time! Cheers!
Lesley,
Yes, rural Wisconsin is awash in peace; love meandering along and breathing it all in. And yes, next time I WILL get lost!
Thanks for kind words about Debbie. Caretakers are some of God’s most special people.