It was 7:30 a.m. and I had just entered the hospital waiting room. I scoped out the room’s seating choices and immediately opted for a chair on the right side of the room, which was on the opposite end from the room’s only other occupant, a woman in her mid-sixties.
I gave her a quick smile and had just pulled out my phone to check my e-mail when I was startled by her voice.
“Hi there! Would you mind terribly much moving over to this side of the room with me? It would be so nice to have someone to visit with while I wait.”
I was a little taken aback by her request but I couldn’t imagine saying no to such a friendly invitation. I grabbed my purse and moved to the chair opposite her, curious to see where our conversation might take us.
She looked at me and beamed as though she had just run across her dearest childhood friend. I smiled back without even knowing I was doing it, so completely was I under the spell of her cheery enthusiasm.
With a contented sigh she leaned back in her chair and said, “So, tell me where you are from. Are you a native of the Outer Banks or did you move here from somewhere else?”
Out of all the things I might have been expecting, that question was a total surprise. She was asking questions about me?”
In most of the conversations I am a part of, I do most of the listening, simply because I know people are eager to talk and eager for their stories to be heard. So that’s my thing, my way of making a difference–listening.
To have someone start a conversation by asking me a question threw me off my stride for a minute but I managed to gather my surprised wits around me and answer her question. I then followed up by asking where she was from. She was just about to answer when the door opened and the phlebotomist called her name.
She sent a warm, goodbye smile in my direction and just as she disappeared through the door I overheard her say, “Oh that’s fine. You don’t need to tell me where the lab is; I’m a frequent flyer around here.”
And that was it. She was gone.
Although that encounter took place over two years ago, I still often think about that woman and our brief time together. Here some of my musings:
I have no way of knowing where that woman is today. But if she is still alive, I picture her going through her day, taking what could very well be depressing circumstances–namely, frequent trips to the hospital–and turning them into chances to connect, turning them into chances to share a smile, turning them into opportunities for people to look up from their iPhones and actually see one other.
And now, just about every time I go into a waiting room, I think of her. I remember her cheery smile and her sweet invitation to a stranger in a hospital to come and be a part of her world for a few minutes.
I want to be more like her. To live outwardly rather than inwardly. To be the first person to speak. To initiate the first smile. To give a compliment. To look up from my phone and really see the people around me.
And in doing all those things I will be remembering and I will be honoring that woman.
I just realized something Becky. You are “that woman”. With your blog, you initiate conversations and get us to talk about ourselves also. For many years I would read blogs but rarely comment but this blog is one that I try to comment on regularly. Thank you for being that woman. 🙂
Mel,
Thank you for being “that woman” who leaves such an encouraging comment! You just made my day!
A classic post! And yes, one moment can make all the difference.
Lesley,
And just think of all the “one moments” out there!
Great story and I hope she is still around and so cheerful. Cell phones do come in handy, but I can’t stand listening to other peoples conversations. When my husband and I are eating dinner our phones are ignored. Same when I am visiting or if someone is visiting me. It’s always nice to meet new people and you can’t do that by staring at your phone!
Kari,
I know what you mean about listening to other peoples’ conversations on their phones; it’s amazing how loudly some people talk about personal things!
Wow. I just love this. <3 May we all be a little more like her.
Jessica,
So true.
It’s amazing how such a brief encounter can have such a long lasting impact!
Great to remember. We get too wrapped up in our world that we forget others may need encouragement. I try to do this during my volunteer time by asking people who enter the room, “May I help you?” Often opens a conversation or may just get a short answer. Never know how people feel in a hospital setting and my work station is the intensive care waiting room.
Ann,
I would love to volunteer in a hospital!
I know your sweet spirit and calming personality are the perfect combination for a place like that where people are stressed.
Great comments so far, Becky! I’m with Steve – A new classic! As Mel says, we can easily be “that woman.”
Your post is a great reminder for us to stick ourselves out there, even if it’s not what we feel comfortable with. I just love striking up conversations with random people, but it must be the right time for me, usually in a quiet place somewhere. I can recall several instances where I’ll share meaningful, albeit brief, moments with someone, and these encounters stick with me. I call them sacred moments. Often, it’s with an older person, and they’ll have a bit of wisdom to offer me, at just the right time. Even a smile can be so special. Thank you so much for this post.
Ann,
“Sacred moments” is a perfect label. As you said, the interactions don’t have to be lengthy to be meaningful and memorable. Thanks for all you do to connect with and encourage those around you.
And I agree about older people having great wisdom to share; I love talking to them!
Great lesson. I try to make it a point not to look at my phone when out to lunch with my co-worker. I also have a rule of no cell phones at the table when I have family dinners. My one niece thinks the same as Sandra, that I’m the worst aunt living I’m sure. We don’t all get together that often and we need to live in the moment!
Phyllis,
You are absolutely right about needing to live in the moment, especially with people we don’t often see.
I’ve heard of people putting all their cell phones in a pile at the beginning of a restaurant meal and if anyone takes their phone out of the pile, they have to pay for dinner. 🙂
That was a great lesson for all of us to learn! We have a no cell phone rule when we are out to eat at a restaurant and even at our table at home. Our daughter thinks we are the worst parents in the world for not letting her text while we are eating!!
Sandra,
It’s great to the “worst person” for such a wonderful cause. 🙂
I know that deep down, your daughter appreciates the family togetherness.
Yes! What an awesome reminder ~ thank you! I want to be like that too but am simply TERRIBLE at initiating a conversation with a stranger. I’m shy around people I don’t know and fear saying the wrong thing or sounding silly so any helpful hints on where to start, etc. would be greatly appreciated!
LeeAnne,
I admire your willingness to step out of your comfort zone a little. Good for you!
Sometimes just a simple, genuine compliment is a great ice breaker, or else a comment about something in the room. Then the ball is in their court to continue the conversation or not but at least you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone a little and made an important connection.
You can do it!
A new classic has entered the revered, much-loved and storied annals of the Smithellaneous saga.
Thanks, honey!
Hi Becky: Happy Monday. I know you always say that you are an introvert but I think that God puts people out there for us to meet to get us to come out of our comfort zone and show us that we can just as easily be that woman who sits down with someone and gets them to talk. What a great story.
Mel,
So true. We can ALL be that woman. For some people it’s easier than for other people, but we can all at least speak word or two and share a smile.
Such a good challenge for me.
That is a great story and a great lesson!
Deb,
Thank you.Those few minutes I spent with her have stuck with me for two years, which reminds me of just how significant passing moments can truly be.