On Tuesday afternoon, Summer’s sweet heart stopped beating, and her gentle eyes closed one final time. As my tears fell, she grew limp in my arms.
We were all there in the vet’s office. Steve and me. Gage and Sarah. Weeping. Remembering. Being grateful for a decade of doggie love.
Summer was unusually quiet during the long moments before the procedure. In recent days, she had always wanted to get down when I held her because I think she felt insecure being blind and not having her feet on the ground. But yesterday, she stayed completely still for thirty minutes; nestled quietly in my arms, barely moving, almost as though she was aware of the momentous import of this day when she would say goodbye to all of the love she knew.
Before the day she was put to sleep, we gave her one last bath. I wanted her to be clean and lovely for her journey.
Whenever Steve bathes her, I put a towel in the dryer so it’s comfortingly warm when it’s time for Steve to hand her over to me. I sit with her on the couch for at least half an hour while her shivering stops and she drifts away to sleep with contented puppy snores ringing out.
And I did it for the last time on Monday. The very last time.
On the morning of her passing, she and I got up early and I put her in the big chair beside me.
She perused my blog one last time and gave it a sniff of approval.
Then just before we left for the vet, I sat on the porch swing with her, just the way I did on Snowy’s last day ten years ago. She was so quiet the whole day; wanting nothing more than to be close to her people.
She was buried next to Snowy, in our side yard; the hearts of two fluffy white dogs interred side by side–hearts that had been steadfastly loyal, steadfastly loving to their people.
We gathered around her with tears, while Steve led us in prayer. And then Gage lowered her into the ground, forever gone from us.
For ten years she has enriched our lives. For ten years she has been a doted-upon member of the Smith Clan. She was never as playful as Snowy; her gifts lay in snuggling, cuddling, comforting, and just being there should anyone need the unconditional love of a small dog to assuage any burden of life–whether small or large.
As I write this post, I keep glancing up and around the room, waiting for a flash of white to let me know Summer has is near. But the flash never comes. The house is Summer-less.
We’ve taken up her food bowl and water dish. Her little bed in our room . . .
is empty.
But still, our hearts are full. Along with the tears have come so many memories–memories designed to soothe hurt, calm hearts, and bring peace.
Just like Summer herself would do if she were here.
Rest quietly, sweet baby dog. Momma misses you.
In her memory, here are a few photos from her life.
And if you need to dilute your Summer tears with a smile here is a post (that she wrote) that should do the job.
What about you? Have you lost a pet? If so, leave his/her name in the comments along with something you loved about them. Summer will be glad to know she is surrounded by all her pet friends, gone on before her.
(Let me also take a moment to send my condolences to my sister, Ruth, and her family who had to put their sweet dog, Cider, to sleep the day before Summer’s passing.)
Becky and Family, I’m so very sorry for your loss, especially so soon after losing your Mom. It was easy to see how much you all loved Summer. Seeing the photo of Steve giving her a bath, I never realized how tiny she was! I have always said how hard it is to be with them at the end, but it would have been even harder for me afterwards if I hadn’t been there.
A friend of mine recently posted this and I saved it:
“It turns out that pets also have last wills before they die, but only known to vets who put old and sick animals to sleep.” Twitter user Jesse Dietrich asked a vet what the hardest part of his job was.
The specialist replied without hesitation that the hardest thing for him was seeing how old or sick animals look for their owners before they fall asleep. The fact is 90% of owners don’t want to be in a room with a dying animal. People leave so they don’t see their animals leave. But they don’t realize it’s in these last moments of life that their animal needs them the most.
Vets are asking owners to stay close to animals until the end. “It is inevitable that they die before you. Remember that you were the center of their lives. Maybe they were just a part of you. But they are also your family. Even if it’s hard, don’t give up on them.
Don’t let them die in a room with a stranger in a place they don’t like. It’s very painful for vets to see how pets can’t find their owner in the last minutes of their lives. They don’t understand why their master left them. After all, they needed the consolation of their master.
Veterinarians do their best to make animals not so scared, but they are totally strangers to them. Don’t be a coward because it’s too painful for you. Think about the animal. Endure that pain for them. Be with them until the end.”
I got my first dog when I was five years old and had them until 2016, when she passed I couldn’t bring myself to get another. I have had seven cats, 2 of which I have now. (never more than two at a time, lol!) My husband said he was never having a cat in the house. That didn’t last long, he has spoiled all of them and they return the affection.
Kari,
I love that your cats have won your husband over. 🙂 There is just something about an animal that finds its way into our hearts. Glad you have some happy, spoiled cats.
It was such a privilege to be holding Summer right up to her last moments. She needed me and I needed her.
Becky, I grieve with you and your family regarding the loss of Summer. I was the owner of ‘Jimmy the cat’ from 2000-2014. Jimmy was a rescue animal from the streets of Asheville. He was a very sweet, ‘vocal’, loving, buff color tabby cat. We shared many wonderful walks & ‘talks’ together during the years, a very special bond. I understand just how hard it is to express feelings after the loss of a much loved pet. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Please connect with me when you, Steve, Sarah & Gage visit Asheville. I’ll happily give you a private tour of downtown, my favorite restaurants and a visit to the ‘Grove Park Inn’. The Grove Park Inn is an ‘awesome’ hotel/spa built in 1913. The view from Sunset Terrace restaurant is way beyond spectacular.
Gloria Smith
Peacebewithyou55@gmail.com
Gloria,
Jimmy the cat sounds like he was a fabulous companion and friend for those fourteen years. I know what you mean about sharing “talks” with him; we were always having interesting conversations with Summer. 🙂 Thank you for your kind words.
I have always heard about the Grove Park Inn and would love to visit someday!
It is so sad to have to do this…
part from a beloved pet.
I realized you don’t know how it really is until it comes to your home.
Thankful for the good days we had with Cider — our corgi.
Ruth
Ruth,
Such a sweet dog. I’ll never forget her kind, happy eyes fixed on me waiting for her treat. And those mid-air catches? Amazing!
Dear Becky and family – although I knew the day was coming, I still was not prepared for the blog about Summer’s last day. But you did your usual masterful job of writing about it, which I read through tears. I loved all the photos – especially the one of Pastor Steve giving Summer her last bath. You can see the love in his face. We lost our 17 year old Husky/Border Collie (Barkley) three years ago and our 18 year old Tuxedo Cat (Mugsy) last year. Barkley was a “herder”, and he constantly followed each of us around the house to check on us. Mugsy slept on my tummy from the time she was a kitten. I haven’t adjusted to losing them. When I awake in the morning, I still check to see if Mugsy is lying next to me before I’m fully awake. As always, you are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Fred and Lucy,
So funny to have a dog who “herded” you. Nice to know someone was watching out for you. And having a cat who loves to snuggle is the very best. I know what you mean about still looking for them and reaching for them. They are always there in our hearts.
Becky,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Losing a pet leaves a scar on our heart.
When my cat Gretchen died, it took me 6 months to get rid of her stuff, and another 2 years before I could consider getting another cat. Now I have a goofy ginger and a very opinionated tortoiseshell. They give me great joy. And I hope I give them some joy too.
Enya,
A goofy ginger and an opinionated tortoiseshell. All I can think is those cats would be very good stars of their own children’s book! 🙂
I’m so glad they have helped to fill the whole left behind by Gretchen.
Oh Becky, I am crying so hard as I write this, this has been such a sad year for you all…..we lost our beloved nearly 15 year old Bichon, Kasie, on August 4th 2014, that summer I also lost two dear uncles and my stepdad….my childhood pet was a big old mutt named Buzzie after my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Buzby, we lost her in 1980d, when my husband and I first got married we adopted our Duchess from a pound, she was with us from 1984-1997, she was so wonderful when the kids came along, then we lost my daughter’s dog Toby in 2019 due to acute pancreatitis. I still cry over him…..and all the others as well….hugs to you all.
Dale,
You have been blessed with a lot of wonderful animals to love. They never leave our memories, do they?
no never
I am so sorry for all of you. Hard to believe it has been 10 years. Summer was a sweet girl.
I’ve only had one pet, a cocker spaniel, who we had to put down because he had heart and kidney failure. I was young then and have not had any pets since. I feel your heartbreak.
LeeAnne,
I think it’s especially hard to lose pets when you are young because they are such a huge part of a small world. You never forget them.
Sending love to you for all of your recent losses. We have lost way too many furbabies to list here, but I know that Summer is in great company at the Rainbow Bridge. Hugs to you all as you mourn and remember the fun times you had with your precious Summer. She had such a wonderful life with you.
Gayle,
Sweet, sweet Summer! We miss her but find peace knowing it was the right time. I know you know the feeling so well.
One of the most difficult decisions to have to make and follow through on. I’m so sorry to hear of Summer’s passing. What a sweet companion she has been. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️
Lorrie,
I’m glad you got to meet her, however briefly. I remember your cat–was the name Blue? I know how much you loved her. (Or him. Sorry, can’t remember that detail.) Hugs.
So sorry to read of your great loss. I know she was well loved. Prayers for your broken hearts…..
Judy,
Definitely well loved. Definitely missed.
Thank you so much for your words and prayers.
Oh, my heart is just breaking. I am so sorry for the loss of Summer so close to the loss of two beloved Mothers.
We’ve lost a few pets but our Sheba was probably the hardest one so far. She loved her family and was fiercely protective (almost too much so) and she hated motorcycles. She actually caught (and bit the driver) of one in our neighborhood – breaking through the fence to get to him. Luckily she didn’t break the skin and the driver was really nice about it. Needless to say, the fence was shored up a little more!
Sending hugs to all who loved Summer!
Suzanne,
How nice to know you were protected by a fiercely loyal furry friend. And also nice to know that the motorcycle owner was nice about Sheba’s protectiveness! 🙂
You have had a lot of loss this year. May God continue to comfort you! Please know I pray daily for your family. Hugs from Iowa!
Marjie,
Wow, I am so humbled that someone would pray for us daily. Thank you for that reminder.
I remember when Snowy passed on and how perfectly timed you received Summer…so sad when our little pet companions are gone…I know that both dogs brought such comfort for you all during life changing experiences…
Monique,
You have a good memory! Yes, Snowy was VERY comforting to us in our time of transition and Summer now, during this season of loss.
Our beautiful Maltese Lucy lived a wonderful 17 years in our family and is missed. Zac our shitzu also lived a wonderful years. Both last day came suddenly but were surrounded with love, just as they had given us.
It’s nearly 3 years without a dog and oh how I miss that unconditional love!
Suzanne,
I LOVE Malteses. That was certainly a good long life she had.
Lucy and Zac–in your heart always.
I’m so very sorry for your loss of Sweet Summer. What a precious decade of memories she leaves with you. Please express my condolences to Ruth & family also, on the loss of Cider. It’s so hard when we lose our fur-babies. Back in 2008 we had to put our black lab Butch to sleep due to a tumor, and I so relate to your looking for Summer flashing by. Butch would lay by my recliner and for weeks I kept reaching down to rub on him.
Sue Ellen,
I know. Those old habits die hard, don’t they? Reaching down to pet an animal who isn’t there and won’t be there again. Such a difficult adjustment without them around.
Remembering Butch with you today!
Gosh, Becky, what a rough few months you and your family have had! I’m sorry about Summer. It’s so hard to let them go, but they depend on us to know when it’s time.
You met my dog, Kira, when I first stopped by your church in…. 2018, I think it was. I had to let her go about a year after that, when she developed incapacitating mobility issues. I miss her immensely but I’m so grateful for the time I had her! I loved that she was happiest and most content when I was nearby. She’d escape sometimes, and crash around the woods like an absolute terror… but she’d always come back after running a bit like “okay, I got that out of my system. we should hang out now.”
Kristina,
Yes, it’s pretty much been one thing after another since April.
I do remember meeting Kira; I even have a photo of her! So very sorry to know you lost her soon after. I know she was a good traveling companion for you–on the literal road and on the road of life.
And how grand to be loved so much and missed so much by her and that she always wanted to come back to you.
Oh my goodness,Becky,I’m sitting here crying while reading your post. Our dog Shiva,is almost 17,we’ve only had her 3 years,but she had kidney failure when we got her,and is partially blind and deaf.We call her our hospice dog.She seems healthier now than ever,and we joke that she will outlive us but when she does go,Bill and I will grieve just as you are over Summer. Animals add such love and happiness to our lives…sending love and a hug to all of you.😢❤️
Patti,
So glad you are making Shiva’s last years so full of love and comfort. And I know she returns those same things to you.
Thanks for the hug.
You have had a lot of loss lately. Thank you for being able to use your words to express loss so eloquently.
Jessie,
Thank you for your kind words about my writing.
I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose a furry family member. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers .
Michele,
Furry family members are treasures, aren’t they?
So sorry to hear you lost her. We lost our 22 year old cat Spot last year. He was older than our son, who was 17 when Spot died. He’d never known life without his cat, and took it particularly hard. Since he was older than our son, he was like our first child. He went into kidney failure in his final years, and my son would dutifully give him IV fluids every night for a few months. Finally we knew it was time, and had to make that final trip to the vet. He was the sweetest cat ever, and now rests in the back yard where we have a little granite marker (just like a human’s!) marking his place.
Melissa,
“That final trip to the vet.” Those are such sobering words; those last miles of the journey, literally and figuratively.
What an incredible experience for your family to have had a cat for 22 years. Wow! I can only imagine how difficult that was for your son. Kudos to him for learning how to give the IV fluids. That was such a practical way to show her his love.
Snowy and Summer were always favorites for me in your posts. Joining you in sadness, but also in the gladness that those two precious pups brought to your family and the folks who love you.
Mrs. Pam,
I love that sentiment, ‘Joining you in sadness but also in gladness.” So many emotions!
Thinking of you.
Katrina–thanks so much!
You have been through so much loss, Becky. The pain of loss is the price we pay for loving, no matter whether they are human or animal. My prayers are with you.
Liz,
Yes, the loss bucket has seemed pretty full lately.
And it’s so true; if you loved someone (or a pet) the grief and loss felt is a sign of great love.
I remember Snowy very well…she was a darling. I was blubbering while reading Summer’s story. I was close with my big orange cat, Morris. I have his ashes in a small bronze urn that is engraved “Morris: always loved.” I rescued a little female cat from the pound in March who my hubby and I dote on now:Maddie. They all leave pawprints on our hearts, Becky……and you, Summer, were a great little doggie!
Jojy,
Yes, we have been blessed with two darling, white, fluffy friends. Paw prints, indeed.
I’m glad you got another cat to dote on; doting brings such joy. 🙂
I could hardly see to read your full post my eyes and nose were both running. It’s so hard to lose your loving pet. I had to put down my half Lab half Collie Sam, 13 years ago and 3 years ago my chocolate lab Freddy got hit by a car following a deer trail through the snow and out on the road. I have not given in to another dog…yet. Not sure I will, but oh how I miss my boys!
My heart hurts for you all.
Wendy,
How traumatic to have Freddy die in an accident; you never had time to get used to the idea of losing him, the way you do when you put a pet to sleep.
It sounds like both Sam and Freddy were very well loved.
It has been nearly six years since we had Ella, our Great Dane, put to sleep. I miss her snuggles…not that Tiny does not snuggle with me as well. I miss my mailbox buddy. She loved to go get the mail.
Rachel,
Mailbox buddy. That just brings up so many mental images that make me smile. So sorry she had to be put to sleep.
So sorry for your loss.
Fran–thank you so much.
I am so very sorry, Becky, for the grief you and your family share in the loss of your precious Summer. I can’t believe she was 15—I have been reading your blog for a long time!
May God comfort your heart.
DeLynn,
I know, right? Seems impossible she was already fifteen; she was definitely an elderly lady. Thanks for reading the blog and remembering our animals back in the day!
I am so sorry. We lost our beautiful dog, Molly in 2020 and I still cry when I think of her and the loss we feel without her. She was a rescue and was the sweetest most loyal dog. She was really attached to my husband and would lay in the front window most of the day, waiting for him to come home from work. I always knew when he was close to home, because she knew the sound of his truck and heard it as soon as he turned onto our street. I am sending you a hug today as you navigate home without Summer.
Kim,
I think rescue animals have such gratefulness to their owners that there is an extra special bond. I’m sorry you lost your sweet Molly.
I’m sure hearing your husband’s truck was the highlight of her whole day and made you happy to see HER happy!
Hugs to you and your family. It’s been a difficult year. I watched the You Tube video with her. 💕
Marylea,
Thank you for the hugs sent; they are gratefully received.
I am so sorry that Summer has been laid to rest. I will miss hearing about her antics and special moments. Six months after I moved to Saint Cloud Bill and I had to say goodbye to my cat Sophie. She developed a disease that destroyed her teeth and gums. Many tears were shed and my other cat Milo searched for days after we lost her. Thankfully Milo is still doing well and is happy with his numerous sleeping spots. My thoughts are with all who loved her.
Cindy,
I’ve never heard of such a disease; what a difficult thing for you to face with your sweet Sophie.
It must have been so sad to watch Milo search for her am glad he is doing well and pursuing his life calling of sleeping. 🙂 Hugs.
Oh how sad… coming so close to the passing of your precious mom too, my heart goes out to all of you. Losing the people and the pets in our lives is one of the hardest things we will ever do here on this earth. I am so glad that God gives us His special touches and sweet Words to get us through those times. Praying for you all. I had to take my little Yorkie, Jilly Bean, to the vet today for blood work to check for heartworm..it was negative!!…. and she is so nervous riding in the car. She wants to go if I mention it but then when she gets in the car she is stressed out and shakes really bad. She is only a year old and is an inside doggy 100%. She only goes outside if we hold her. She is our baby since we are empty nesters. I will miss your posts on little Summer but we know she is romping in some tall sweet grass right now and makiing new friends.
Kay,
I absolutely love your dog’s name. Made me smile!
A one-year-old Yorkie has got to be soooo cute. I know you and your husband are enjoying her so much.
So sorry Becky. Beautiful! You have had so much loss in such a short time. Sending hugs, thoughts and prayers. We have been through the same twice since January. Tessa in January and Mattie in June 1. I still find myself checking every time before putting down the feet of the recliner or moving a chair away from the kitchen table to make sure Mattie is not hiding there. Miss them and their snuggles so very much. Their small wooden boxes are on the shelf in the motorhome so I think of them every day. Also sorry to hear about Ruth’s furbaby.
Ginny,
Thinking of Tessa and Mattie with you. Dogs are such dear companions and when they are gone, it’s such a difficult adjustment, especially losing two in 5 months. Their memories are traveling right along with you!
I’m so sorry 😢 I remember Snowy and the comfort she brought Sarah. Missy came to my son soon after the death of my older son, Dan, his only sibling. We shared her until, eventually, she lived full time with me. She brought so much comfort and unconditional love. She taught us that pets are beloved family. About a year after we lost Missy, Dixie came to live with me. Both Shih Tzus, they are alike in many ways, yet different.
They leave a void when they go. Our hearts are broken but we would do it all over again…
Sending love ❤️ and many prayers
Sharon
Sharon,
Such a perfect way to sum it up. “Our hearts are broken but we would do it all over again.”
Sounds like you have been blessed with some wonderful dogs.
This is the hardest part of being a fur-parent, saying goodbye. It’s not fair they can’t stay with us longer. I’ve had to say goodbye to many. Sending comfort to you and your family.
Shannon,
I’m sorry you’ve had to say goodbye to many. It never gets any easier. So thankful for the memories they leave behind.
So sorry for the loss of Summer. Doesn’t seem possible that it’s been 10 years since you lost Snowy. Sorry about Cider also.
The only per I ever had was a dog Frisky. Because we lived on the Main Street/highway through town, we let him go to my grandfather’s farm.
Phyllis,
Frisky is such a fun name. I’m sure he had the best time at your grandfather’s farm!