Snowy Goes To College Series (Part 1)

Life’s been crazy folks, that’s all there is to it.   And as much as I love blogging, I’m afraid that the aforementioned Crazy Life has not given me much time to do it.

We were without Internet at home for 10 days, Steve’s been sick in bed all weekend, I worked 10 hours on Saturday (which is supposed to be a day off), I handled a lot of “Steve duties” yesterday morning in church since he wasn’t there, and today I am off to Greenville for three doctor appointments–mammogram, plastic surgeon and oncologist.  (All just routine check ups.)  And tomorrow morning I’m starting work with a designer to do a minor redesign of the blog. (Since the header I have up right now is just homemade and temporary.)

And on it goes. . .

All along the way, I’ve been wanting to write nice, long, newsy posts and put up pictures/video from our Easter drama, etc.   And that will happen eventually.  But today, with a long road/doctor trip in my future, I decided to pull out a vintage Snowy Goes To College post.

The Snowy Goes to College posts are some of the favorite things I have ever written.   Just recently I got to thinking that I should repost them since it’s been a couple of years since their original appearance.  And since Snowy made a brief appearance here last week and got his usual rave reviews, I figured now would be a good time to revisit the series.  I’ll post a new one every few days, in between other stuff.

Enjoy!

JANUARY 15, 2010
Snowy Goes To College

Last night, Sarah, Snowy and I had an adventurous, alarming, entertaining, exhausting, and exhilarating outing.

We went to Dog Training Classes. (Otherwise known–in our family, at least–as College.)

I am hereby here to report to you that Snowy distinguished himself at College in several different ways. (And I use the words “distinguished himself” in the nicest possible way.)

Here are the unique ways in which Snowy became the most “notable” student in the 2010 Class of Canines:

1. He was the very first dog that had to sprayed in the face with water by his wise instructor for refusing to stop barking hysterically at the other four dogs in the room.

2. He was the first dog to cause the instructor to have to switch from the spray bottle of water to a  bottle of “yucky stuff.” (This was sprayed near Snowy’s mouth to get his attention and short-circuit his barking frenzy.)

3. Snowy was the only dog whose owners were presented by the teacher with our very own personal spray bottle for ongoing “barking discipline” as the teacher was talking. (I know the other dog owners must have been incredibly jealous that we had been chosen for that singular honor.)

4. Snowy was the only dog in the room to bite the instructor. It was just a little nip which the instructor took in stride, but he was still the only doggie to do it.

5. Snowy was the oldest dog (by far) in the room.

6. Snowy was the smallest dog in the room. The largest was 120 pounds and he was looking at Snowy as though he might be suitable for a tasty appetizer.

7. Snowy was the only dog in the room who’d never been around other dogs; as a result, every time another dog came near him, he burst forth into a frothing, frantic frenzy, the likes of which have never before been recorded in the annals of doggie history.

And speaking of annals, that seems to be a good transition into a similar word.  Which is anal.

As in, “dogs sniffing the anal areas of other dogs.” (Bear with me, please. I’m trying to phrase this as delicately as possible.)

But the truth of the matter is that last night, Snowy was introduced to the fine art of behiney sniffing.  (Which I must say, was a riot to watch.)  The instructor said that it was important for Snowy to discover what it feels like to be part of the pack, so to speak, and for him to realize that it really isn’t necessary to explode into hyper hysteria every time another canine comes near.

And so, to facilitate the Introductory Sniffing of the Behiney Ceremony with minimal trauma to the sniffer and the sniffee, Sable was called into action.

Now before I go any further in this highly edifying post about canine behineys, let me introduce you to Sable.

Sable was, quite simply, an amazing dog. She’d been neglected and abandoned before being adopted by our teacher. When all of us owners and our dogs walked into the training room, she was already in there, lying contentedly on her rug. She lifted her head to look at us, gave a cursory glance around and then calmly put her head back down on her paws to await further development.

Now let me just say that if Snowy had been lying on a rug and four dogs had suddenly entered the room (especially if one of the dogs weighed 120 pounds), he would have immediately levitated three feet into the air and flailed around with great alacrity, barking, hyperventilating, and having the next thing to a nervous break down. (One of Snowy’s problems is that he doesn’t know he only weighs six pounds; he really believes he weighs two hundred pounds and no one has the heart to tell him any different.)

As it turned out, Sable was there to be the role model dog for the evening. She kept her eyes fastened on her master (our teacher) at all times, and even when the other dogs came within inches of her face as they were being led around the room, she maintained an absolutely amazing aura of imperturbability.

She and her master demonstrated for us staying, and heeling and other tasks that we will learn in the weeks to come. And then in the highlight of the evening (for Snowy, at least), she was called upon to allow her regal self to be sniffed by a certain hyper, happy, anxious, eager-to-please, scared-to-death, beloved teacup Maltese.

The instructor brought Sable near Snowy (by this time, Snowy was being much less reactive to the other dogs) and lifted Snowy up to engage in a bit of polite sniffing. (If sniffing some ones’ behiney can, indeed, be called polite.)

And then it was Snowy’s turn to be sniffed at a bit, which he coped with in an admirably calm and genteel manner.

And so progress was made.

Snowy began to understand that the other dogs in the room were not his sworn enemies, but instead  they were all a part of the College Pack. He began to realize that he didn’t have to give into dismaying and dire doggie distress every time one of them came within three feet of his royal personage.

At the end of the evening, he was calm and happy and he and the trainer had become great friends. (The trainer said he understood that Snowy had nipped at him earlier because he was scared senseless by all the newness and strangeness of the evening.)

By the time we all left the building that night, Snowy and both of his accompanying ladies were exhausted. He slept the entire 25-minute trip home and then slept in till almost 7 this morning, which is very late for him. It seems as though all the spraying, learning, studying, heeling, and hiney sniffing that goes into being a Canine College Dude was a just lot for him to cope with.

And just to further illustrate what our dear and darling doggie went through during his first day of college, here are a few closing pictures.

Snowy trying to stay clear of Ye Olde Horse Doggie on the rug next to his.

When Snowy wasn’t looking, Sable (at the back of the room) and Coco were showing a good deal of interest in him. (Were they possibly thinking, “Snack?”)

However, when Snowy turned to look at them, they nonchalantly found something else to stare at.

The attention focuses on Snowy once more. Snowy shows remarkable self restraint and turns the other direction. (I wanted to say that he “turned the other cheeks,” but I would never say such a thing on this blog.)

Finally, Snowy decides to let the Big Guy know that he exists. And that he ain’t scared of nuthin’!

Um. Except maybe having a creature twenty times his size hovering over him.

And so ends Snowy’s first day of College. I’ll keep you updated as his college career progresses.

In the meantime, he is spending today taking a lot of naps to recover from the trauma of being a newly minted College Dude.