Sweet Face. Small Hand. Big Heart.

February 5, 2014

Yesterday I went to Greenville for my infusion; while I was in town, I also had a few other errands to run so it turned out to be a long day.

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Before my infusion, they did blood work and discovered that my platelets are still low. My rheumatologist is concerned about that and wants me to have them checked again in two weeks. If they’re still low at that point, he’s going to take me off all my RA meds and then start adding them back one by one. That’s the only way to tell whether or not one of the meds is the culprit.

He told me that the only bad thing about that plan is that it will make my arthritis symptoms kick back up, which I’m not thrilled about.  However, he said that we need to get aggressive with finding the reason for the low platelets because if it’s not the medication that’s causing the problem, then I obviously have something else going on that needs to be tracked down.

So that’s the platelet plan . .

And here’s the rest of the story.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I usually enjoy my trips to Greenville; however, for a variety of reasons, yesterday was a tough and tiring day. I left the house at 6:30 a.m. and when I walked back in at 7 p.m., I was a goner. Exhausted. Depleted.  Near tears.

Steve was out at a meeting and Sarah was at the kitchen table just finishing her dinner. I plopped all my stuff down on the counter, sank into a chair, let loose with a sigh that came all the way from my toes, and then unloaded my entire day on Sarah–the good, the bad, and the not so good. 

She pushed away her plate and fixed her eyes steadily on me, listening intently, commenting briefly, and exuding a palpable sense of compassion and calm.  After about twenty minutes, after I had gotten it all out, I just sat there next to her in a little pool of mama misery.

Sarah was quiet for just a moment and then she reached out her small hand, put it over mine on the table and with the sweetest expression and the beginnings of tears in her eyes said, “I’m sorry you had to go through all that, Mom. Can I do something for you? Maybe fix you something to eat?”

Just a short little phrase. Just a small, petite hand. Just a big, big heart.

All of a sudden, I felt a hundred times better.  I had been heard. I’d had compassion extended. I’d had a set of listening ears turned in my direction. I gave Sarah a hug, thanked her for listening, and went upstairs to bed.

Sweet face. Small hand. Big heart. 

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It was all I needed.

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30 comments so far.

30 responses to “Sweet Face. Small Hand. Big Heart.”

  1. It is amazing how our children can show such love. The reason your daughter is so sweet and concerned is because you raised her to be. Love can be a rewarding blessing. Take care #Sitsblogging

    • Becky says:

      Brandy,

      “Love can be a rewarding blessing.” How very true is that. Love isn’t always an easy or simple road to travel but its blessings are the sweetest gift of life.

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  2. Ayanna says:

    Wow. This post brought me to tears! What a beautiful daughter you have. Sometimes we just need to be heard. Your writing is beautiful. And I love how such a small act on your daughter’s part showed so much love. xx #sitsblogging

    • Becky says:

      Ayanna,

      Well, your comment brought ME to tears! How true what you said, “Sometimes we just need to be heard.” Unfortunately we live in a crazy, busy world where fewer and fewer people stop to listen. I was blessed to have a listening heart just when I needed it.

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  3. Becky says:

    What a sweet girl. You did a great job mom.

  4. Joleen says:

    I am so sorry you had a such a rough day. What a inspiring young lady Sarah is! So much wisdom, so much compassion, so much love, so much beauty (inside and out!). Thanks for sharing such a sweet moment with us.

  5. Randy says:

    She (Sarah) connected. You connected. Nice story.

  6. Becky says:

    Mary,

    You are a wise mama to recognize the fact that love is shown in all sorts of different ways. Your daughters are blessed to have such a wonderful mom to love!

  7. Jodi says:

    Hi Becky,

    I’m so sorry for the incredibly terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day you had; Dear, Sweet, Becky! However, my heart is smiling just as brightly now as it did when I read this for the third time @ noon on Wednesday. And not because your day was so tough. that is not making me smile, in fact, it’s made me teary. But, Sarah is a beautiful, amazing, kind, very caring, young lady; truly a enormous ray of SUNSHINE. I’d actual like to borrow her for a few months. She’s wise beyond her years and I know how very proud of Sarah both you and Steve are (and Nathan too, of course). I know from my 17 years teaching that she didn’t get that way by herself. You and Steve helped mold her into the fine young lady she’s grown to be. Job well done! It’s NOT easy.

    Hope the platelets rectify themselves. That’s all really scary stuff.

    Gentle hugs!

    Jodi

    • Becky says:

      Jodi,

      You truly have a gift of compassion, just as much as Sarah. Because of all you’ve been through, your heart is extra tender to those having a tough time. Thank you for your words.

  8. Margie S. says:

    She truly has God’s hand on her.

  9. Kim Waggoner says:

    Best post ever. Made me cry. Again. 🙂

    With love, from Tennessee….

  10. Liz W says:

    How wonderful that after a crappy day, you were able to be comforted by such a beautiful and empathic young woman. Hope you find a solution for the platelet problem without too much discomfort.

  11. Mrs. Pam says:

    Sarah’s compassion is echoing her family’s compassion…

  12. Jenna Hoff says:

    Becky, it sounds like a long, tough, draining day. I hope today is better. What a special relationship you and Sarah share. This is a gift to cherish.

    • Becky says:

      Jenna,

      My week has definitely gotten better as it’s gone along . . . thankfully. And yes, I truly cherish my relationship with Sarah.

  13. Brooke Robertshaw says:

    Yep yep. Compassion extended in the face of a rough day. I had a rough day yesterday too and texted with my best friend about it. As we ended she said “come visit your Utah family.” At that moment the tears of sadness turned into tears of joy. How lucky am I to have someone so dear? You too are as lucky as I am. In moments like that God tells me “See? Sometimes you doubt Me, but don’t. I AM here.”

    • Becky says:

      Brooke,

      Aren’t friend wonderful? Especially those who know the right thing to say (or text) at exactly the right time. Words are so powerful–they can change the course of a day or the course of a life!

  14. Lesley says:

    I’m so sorry you had such a difficult day, but how wonderful that Sarah was able to alleviate some of the heaviness. She learned it from you.

  15. LeeAnne says:

    “Children learn what they live” and Sarah has good teachers and has learned it so well. Isn’t it so rewarding and satisfying to see your children grow up into such wonderful young adults/adults? I have the same feelings about my kids and they make me so proud. Way to go Sarah!!

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      Children learn what they live. So very true! I’m so happy to hear your kids make you proud, too–for all the frustrations and challenges of child rearing, there are those moments that make it all worthwhile!

  16. Mary H says:

    Sarah is such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. That photo took my breath away. Take care, Becky. We are praying. You are a blessed mama, for sure. You see, my one daughter is not as openly caring as Sarah or my older daughter. However, I have to look at the things she does for me that are not as obvious as a hand to hold or a hug to cherish and understand that in her very own sweet, loving way she is taking care of me and letting me know she is there to help. I needed to see this message you posted today. It opened my eyes to the fact that my daughter is not obvious in her actions but her actions are deliberate and intended to help me through the rough patches.

Thanks for making Smithellaneous so much better through your comments.

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