Thanks so much to all of you who responded to Monday’s post and expressed your concern and sympathy for our dear friends, Ferrell and Milllie Hardison, who just lost their 31-year old son. It really touched my heart that you would express such genuine compassion for a family you don’t even know.
Steve and I attended Mitch’s funeral at The Bridge Church Monday night and to say that it was the most amazing, funny, inspiring, joyful, heartbreaking, touching funerals we have ever been to would be an understatement.
A closer view of the people in attendance. . . with a certain someone we all know and love in the foreground.
The church band and singers led in congregational singing . . .
and the choir brought the house down with their tears, their music, and their worship.
Ferrell and Millie came out to the stage together and talked for a while, sharing hilarious stories and heartbreaking stories alike.
Their little stand near the podium that held water and tissues got a lot of use.
There was a great slide show with many of the pictures displaying the sense of humor that Mitch came by very honestly. (His parents are some of the funniest–and most fun–people you will ever meet.)
The magic of photo editing!
The photos also showed what Mitch’s heart was always about–videography, creativity, and excellence.
Ferrell’s sermon was called, “What Mitch Would Say” and was breathtakingly profound and funny and compassionate and heartbreaking, all at once.
In an effort to let other struggling families know they are not alone, he spoke very openly about how Mitch had dealt with alcohol and drug abuse since he was fourteen years old. Ferrell and Millie loved their son through so much . . .and every word they spoke showed that love.
At the conclusion of the service, the many pastors who were in attendance were taken to a side room so that they could speak with Ferrell and Millie privately. After hugging them both, I stood back quietly and watched as Ferrell and Steve embraced; a brother-to-brother hug full of a thousand words that didn’t need to be said.
After Ferrell and Millie had spoken with the pastors, they went out to greet the hundreds of people who stood waiting to greet them.
Ferrell and Millie’s love for their son was unconditional and all-encompassing, even despite the hardships and heartache his choices brought into their lives. They loved him well. They loved him when he wasn’t easy to love. They loved him with God’s heart.
Ferrell shared during the funeral that Millie was the one who found Mitch’s body after he died. She was the first one to see her beloved son after he had passed beyond the reach of her arms.
And yet at the end of the day, Millie’s love will never be hindered or hampered by Mitch’s death. It faithfully followed her broken, beloved son throughout his life and it will continue to hold him even now that he’s gone.
At the end of a brilliant, tragic, too-short life . . . Mitch is carried by love.
My husband was 31 when he died of a drug overdose, almost two years ago. He too was found by his parents. Our daughter was 17 months old when he died. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but for now, it isn’t. It gets different. I am different. I am so thankful that they have such sweet friends to go with them on this journey. I don’t blog a bunch, but I did write a post about the grievers and the watchers. With all the horrors of grief, it does come with gifts. I think it gives us a small taste of what Christ did for us. My relationship with Him is so much more intimate now. It gives a different perspective, and greater appreciation for the little things in life. I think with the trials y’all have faced, you know this, and it’s why y’all will be such a wonderful support for your friends. <3
Wondering Widow,
Thank you for taking the time to share your story and your heart. I read the post you wrote on your blog and was blown away by how much wisdom and tenderness and insight you possess.
I loved the line in your comment, “It doesn’t get easier, it gets different.” And also your words that “grieving comes with gifts.” So much truth in those words, so much hard-won truth paid for by your tears.
May grace continue to accompany you on your journey . . . thanks again so very much for inviting us into your story..
Such a lovely tribute. Sounds like a wonderful, talented young man was called to heaven for a reason. . As a parent I don’t really understand the comment that he wa not easy to love but we all deal with life differently. Some folks have a difficult time coping. . My mom always said that we are all a mess and a miracle So true
Praying for peace for the family
Lauren,
How true that we are all a mess and a miracle. What a profound thought!
As far as what I wrote about Mitch not being easy to love sometimes, I was speaking from a general “human experience” perspective. ALL of can be hard to love at various seasons in our lives, but in Mitch’s case, the behavior caused by his substance abuse made those seasons even tougher.
Ferrell and Millie loved Mitch generously and unconditionally. . ., through the miracles and messiness of his life.
“loved with God’s heart”….. that really got me!
what a wonderful church family for Ferrell and Millie who will also be loving them with God’s heart in the days, months and years to come as they cope with their grief.
Mrs. Pam,
Yes, Ferrell and Millie have truly been blessed with an amazing church family, some of whom have been with them since they started pastoring there almost 25 years ago. There is a lot of love in that place and that’s a good thing because love will be needed for the long healing journey.
Amazing how they were able to do the service for their son — how heartbreaking. I’m so very sorry. Amazing family. Amazing love.
Karen,
Amazing family. Amazing love.
That sums it up perfectly,
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing this family’s story. I just want to reach through the computer and give Ferrell and Millie a hug! I also wish I could hear that choir sing!
Courtney,
Ferrell and Millie are definitely accepting virtual, computer hugs! 🙂 Thanks for your compassionate heart.
And if you heard that choir, I promise you would have goose bumps. Amazing!
I would like to add that you and Steve are two remarkable people.
Fred,
Well, I don’t really think we are remarkable people –we just have remarkable friends! But thank you for your kind words.
What amazing people they are to share their story, to take the opportunity to perhaps encourage other parents who might be going through the same thing as they have, during one of the hardest times of their lives. Praying for them. Beautifully written post Becky.
Joleen,
Amazing is the word for it!
There are so many hurting families who need to know they’re not alone in what they face.
Such a touching story. I’m so sorry to hear your friends lost their son. I pray for them that God will help them through these difficult days.
Michelle,
Thanks so much for those prayers . . . I know Ferrell and Millie appreciate each one.
Becky,
What a precious post from a heart that loves deeply itself. You are amazing and I can’t think of anyone I would rather have standing with me in heartache than you or someone like you. God bless you and your loving heart and your loving and sweet husband.
Gail,
It’s always good to have someone standing with us in heartache, isn’t it? Thank you for your beautiful words.
thank you for sharing his service. The loss of a child does not compare with any other type of loss a parent will ever endure
Becky,
You’re so right. We know (eventually) that our parents will die but non one ever expects to outlive a child. A heartbreaking thing.