Back in 1981, before Steve and I were married, we had the privilege of hearing a Romanian pastor named Richard Wurmbrand speak.
Because of his faith, Wurmbrand spent fourteen years being tortured in Communist prisons during the 1940’s and 1950’s. His wife Sabina was also imprisoned, leaving behind a 12-year old son.
When Sabina was finally released, she had no idea where Richard was or whether or not he was alive. According to historyswomen.com:
“The Communist leaders offered her freedom if she would divorce her husband and renounce her faith. She refused. They then told her that her husband died in prison. She would not believe the report and kept a hope alive that she would see her husband again someday.”
Seven years passed and then one day, Sabina received a postcard from Richard that began with these words:
“Time and distance quench a small love, but make a great love grow stronger.”
Those are words that will snatch your breath away, words that so beautifully illustrate the faithfulness steadfastness of a great love.
But even more inspiring than what Richard wrote are some words that Sabina penned a few years later describing her experiences in prison. I have thought so often of these hard-fought phrases since I first read them a few weeks ago.
People learn what it means to be on this earth with nothing to do when they enter prison. Not to wash, or sew, or work.
Women talked with longing about cooking and cleaning. How they would like to bake a cake for their children, then go round the house with a duster, and clean the windows, and scrub the tables.
We had nothing even to look at. Time did not pass. It stood still.
Those words were nothing short of life-altering for me.
Each time I am tempted to start muttering when I have to make dinner, get ready for work, or put in a load of laundry, I am stopped cold by the truth and the power of Sabina’s words and the illumination they shone on the suffering women around her. Those women were dreaming the most impossible dream: simply to stand in a kitchen and stir together flour and sugar for a cake.
I know that housework and cooking are not glamorous or exciting in themselves. However, in their quiet, sacred simplicity, they proclaim our privilege of getting to care for our homes and our families in the embrace of safety and freedom. To complain about that honor is to do a disservice to millions of mistreated women–past and present–who would give anything to stand in our shoes.
And so my ongoing challenge to myself (and to you, my dear readers), is to remember Sabina and her sisters in suffering.
They are watching us from decades past–watching with eyes that are so hungry for the glorious and humble tasks we are not just permitted but privileged to do.
When I remember those brave women and their longing for the life I have, I am not just challenged. I am forever changed.
Note: If you would like to learn more about Sabina, you can start here.
Becky,
Ouch, ouch, ouch, and amen!!!!!!
Angela,
Yes, I ouched and amen-ed the whole time I was writing it!
Such a strong woman to have endured what she did.
I don’t mind cooking, cleaning, yard maintenance, etc as we both share the work and things look so nice when the work is done. We prefer our home cooked or barbequed food to eating out!
Kari,
It is so much nicer to have someone to work along with you, isn’t it? And yes, I LOVE that feeling of having everything done and getting to step back and enjoy it.
Perspective is everything
Lesley,
So very true. Hugs to you.
Thanks for sharing her story Becky.
Sharyn,
You are so welcome. It is definitely a story worth sharing.
I’m not sure I’ve ever commented before, but I feel the need to tell her my thoughts should it help other readers. I am Catholic and one of the things I live by are the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Here’s what they are: The traditional enumeration of the corporal works of mercy is as follows:
To feed the hungry;
To give drink to the thirsty;
To clothe the naked;
To harbor the harborless;
To visit the sick;
To ransom the captive;
To bury the dead.
The spiritual works of mercy are:
To instruct the ignorant;
To counsel the doubtful;
To admonish sinners;
To bear wrongs patiently;
To forgive offences willingly;
To comfort the afflicted;
To pray for the living and the dead.
As I make dinner for my children, I often think about how I am feeding the hungry and giving drink to the thirsty. As I do laundry as well as when I am spending money on clothing for my children, I think about how they would not have clothing without what I do for them. I work full time, as does my husband, and we have eight children. We may not always get to visit homeless shelters or hospitals, but we do what we can I have to to think that doing for my family is doing good.
Jennifer,
How wonderful to hear from a new commenter!
I loved reading the Words of Mercy you shared; what beautiful thoughts and what beautiful principles to live by.
And I so agree that caring for your husband and 8 children is truly a holy calling. As you said, in this season of life, you can’t go out and do a lot of volunteer work but raising your family well is the greatest work you can do. Hugs.
Thank you for this, Becky. I’m stunned and have goosebumps from reading this. We so often forget, or are simply unaware of, the sufferings of so many. I’m off to fold laundry, fix dinner, and will be gratefully ironing my husbands shirts in the next hour. With Sabrina, and her sisters in suffering, in the forefront of my thoughts.
Ann,
I am right there with you. What a blessing it is to have necessary tasks to fill our time with, to make a difference in our families at work. It is a great blessing simply to be able to have busy hands and thankful hearts.
It takes reading something like that to show us how thankful we really should be with our life. I always tell my kids “things could always be worse” when things aren’t going their way and I truly believe that statement. I have just never really thought about it when it comes to mundane household chores though. Thank you for helping me open my eyes when it comes to being thankful for the little things in life.
Mel,
Yes, I will never look at housework the same after reading about Sabina. To think that those women were longing just to be able to do what we do all day long–really eye-opening.
Wow. This really puts things into perspective.
I truly do enjoy taking care of my house, the laundry, garden, etc. and fully realize that I am so very fortunate to live where I do and to have the opportunity to do so in this great country. Very, very blessed and thankful.
LeeAnne,
Blessed. Thankful. Exactly!
so good– so important- to be thankful everyday– for daily life– Ruth
Ruth,
You are always so good at treasuring the simple things.
Words to live by.
Deb,
Sometimes the simplest words are the most life-changing.
In the times we are facing now, these simple words have the most meaning. May we always learn from the past and treasure what we have now and what we need to work for in the future to make sure we do not repeat the past.
Mary,
So very true. Thank you for those words.
Reminds me of the song by Jeff Easter “I Get To” that tells he does not have to do things but he gets to do them. Beautiful words and meaning as the writings you quoted. How often we forget what blessings we have in serving our family and church family as well as others. May we be forever thankful for God’s grace and mercy.
Ann,
I love that whole concept of “getting to” rather than “having to.” I always try to keep that in mind.
I agree with Guerrina. Wow! Great words to remember. Someone is always worse off than we are. It reminds me just how blessed I am.
If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world.
If you have money in the bank, your wallet, and some spare change you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.
If you can read this message you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all.
Phyllis,
What a great reminder. I never ever want to forget how blessed I am.
This was very hard for me to read, but much too important not to do so. I saw a wonderful musicvideo yesterday called “It Could Have Been Me.” It worked wonders on my perspective.
Fred,
All of need a little wonder worked on our perspective, don’t we? Thanks for your words.
Wow.
Guerrina,
Yes, Sabina lived a “wow” life; one that will inspire me always.