Here is what I’ve always told my family and any friends patient enough to listen: I truly believe in my heart of hearts that a secret nationwide hairstylist convention was held and my photo was projected on the big screen. The leader of the assembled stylists stood up, asked for quiet and then instructed, “Ladies and gentlemen, please memorize the face of this woman. If she ever, and I mean ever, walks into your salon, your mission is to ruin her hair.”
As the following pictures will confirm, all those stylists have thrown themselves wholeheartedly into fulfilling their mission. (Some of these photos are being made public for the first time; I hope you can stand the excitement!)
But let’s establish a little hair history first.
Here I am back in the early years, long before any stylists got their hands on me. My hair’s complexities were already beginning to make themselves known in the form of miscellaneous miniature curls diligently growing in a chaotic and yet decidedly charming manner.
The years passed and the curls continued to go hither. And also yon.
In junior high school, it’s quite obvious that my stylist had given up on taming the waves and was just smushing my locks this way and that.
Those bangs! Those glasses! Those clothes!
For some inexplicable reason, when I was seventeen I decided that I should get a permanent, which traumatized my already alarmed hair even further. At the time, my hair was past my shoulders; however, when I saw the “finger in the outlet” results of a poorly applied permanent to already curly hair, I had the fab thought that the hair wouldn’t be quite as horrific if it was just a teensy bit shorter. I didn’t really mean for it to go this short but the stylist kept making the length crooked and then having to “even it up.” (Refer to the first paragraph.)
This is what I looked like when I met Steve. I am truly surprised he didn’t run for the hills. (Don’t you think that the stylish ribbon around the collar is truly stunning?)
A couple of decades passed with numerous hair-related highs and (mostly) lows. Just to be sure you can fully appreciate the full scope of my Life’s Pitiful Hair Journey, I will share a few more photos with you. I hope you can appreciate the fact that I am showing you pictures of myself at less than stunning moments. You wonderful Smithellaneous readers are the only ones I would ever do that for.
By 2011, I had been working for a while to grow my hair past my chin in time for Nathan and Meagan’s wedding. Because if there is one time in life when you want your hair to look somewhat decent it is when a child of yours gets married.
One week before the wedding, a stylist decreed that one side was a little crooked and needed to be “evened up.” (Why do those words sound familiar?) In the end, it turned out to be three inches of evening up. (Refer to the first paragraph.)
So. On this happy occasion, my hair (or what was left of it) was not at its most shining moment. (You may recognize the woman with me as the lovely Sheri Hawley, my grandkids’ other grandma.)
And now here we are in 2019.
Earlier this year, I had finally managed to grow my longer than it had been in a long time and for one of the few times in my life, I was fairly pleased with it.
So happy, happy day, right? All is fine and all is dandy. Right?
Wrong.
On one fine March morning, I moseyed on into my hairdresser’s, the one who had gotten me to my Happy Hair Place in the picture above. Forty-five minutes later, I left her shop with this cut. It was pretty clear to me that she had finally caved and decided to accept The Mission. (Refer to the first paragraph.)
Sadly, there was no going back. There was no last-minute invention or intervention that would put back the hair that had been so unceremoniously removed.
And so I dried my tears, gathered up my gumption, and took myself off to research the best, most well-regarded stylist on the Outer Banks who could help shepherd my hair back to its former state of long-ish glory.
The one I finally decided on had been cutting hair for 25 years and had a bazillion enthusiastic reviews so I was confident about going to her.
All was well for the first cut and I felt reassured that I was on my way to getting back on the path to non-alarming hair.
However, the next time I went to her for a cut I came out like this. (Refer to the first paragraph.)
I went off to another highly regarded stylist 6 weeks later and left like this. (Refer to the . . . well, you know.)
For my last three cuts, I have gone to yet another stylist and I have actually been happy with her work. I’m hoping that she missed the whole hair convention/big picture thing and there will be no reason to do a follow up on this post with the dreaded words, “Refer to the first paragraph.”
So therein lies the history of my hair story; I appreciate you all reliving it with me. (Steve and Sarah have heard it a few times so it’s nice to have a new audience.)
I think the reason it has been so important to me to grow my hair out at this stage of life is that in the not-too-distant future, rheumatoid arthritis may very well preclude me from using a hairdryer and round brush and I will need to transition to a short, easy-to-care-for style. So I’m trying to have longish hair while I still am still able.
And on some happier, non-hair, non-rheumatological news, Sarah came home for her first weekend visit in eight weeks. I was on deck to do announcements yesterday morning in church and as my last announcement, I called her up to the platform to say hi to everyone and give an update on what’s been going on in her life.
Such a joy to have her around for a few hours before she headed back out the door to all the bright, new adventures of her life.
And now we’re off to Duke. I hope you have a great day and a great week . . . and I especially hope that YOUR photo never appears at the front of any hairstylist’s convention!
What about you?
Do you like your hair or just tolerate it?
What is your biggest hair challenge?
Have you found a stylist you love?
Becky, thanks for sharing your pictures and hair stories. I laughed so hard seeing your sweet young face with your run away hair. I don’t remember every seeing that picture. I do remember seeing, in person, some of the other younger hairstyles but the funny thing is —I was never horrified or traumatized by that 🙂 In looking through some of my younger pictures I realized why!! It was an all-around bad hair era LOL. I remember not being able to get anything other than a “blunt cut”— It was a hairstylist conspiracy and I came to loathe that phrase. 🙂
The rest of your story of bad haircuts through the years is something we can all relate to, ugh!
Thank you again for sharing!
Hugs, Lorrie
Lorrie,
It’s true. You are my only reader (apart from my family) who saw those early hairstyles in real-time. And lived to tell about it! 🙂
I do remember more than one conversation you and I had about our hairstyles back in the day. You’re right. It was the all-around hair era . . . which just happened to follow me into the eras to follow.
Great to see you name pop up in the comments!
Ah yes, hair! Mine is THICK and curly! With cowlicks at both sides of my bangs and the top. Growing up, it was longish- shoulder length. But as an adult, I like it shorter. It really doesn’t look good long. I’ve tried growing it out numerous times and it just doesn’t work. For some reason, when it grows, the curls go with it, so it’s curly at the ends and straight at top. It takes too long to do, so I leave it shorter. Just above my shoulders. And I just wet it, mousse it and go!
Prayers for your appointment and YAY for getting to see Sarah!
Krista,
You’re fortunate to have found a style that you can wet, mousse and go. A little jealous! 🙂
And I can certainly relate to the challenges of curly hair; I also have a cowlick in the back which just adds to the overall hair joy.
Sometimes I like mine and sometimes I just tolerate it. Have had some good cuts and some not so good ones. My hair is fine and has no body so it is basically flat. I like a little lift to it. Oh, well, at least I have hair. Many of your styles I really like. Some were?? Anxious to hear what you find out at Duke. God bless. I remember the home perms my Mama gave me and the frizzes!!
Ann,
Yes, home perms definitely go under the category of Living Dangerously. Your hair always looks great in pictures and in person!
Becky thank you for explaining my hair woes so perfectly!! Finally I understand about the convention—although in my case it wasn’t the stylists attending but my hair cells.
I think my hair cells got the message at the convention to be as wild, frizzy and chaotic as possible. My hair is neither curly nor straight but a terrible mix. Lol. I straighten my hair every single day because there is no other option unless I want to look like a wild woman.
One suggestion that might work for your stylists—I get my hair cut “dry”. When my hair is washed it goes wild. So if a stylist washes it and then cuts it wet, when it drys after the cut it is uneven because my hair is naturally so strangely wavy in odd parts. Since I straight it daily they cut it without washing it at the salon and it comes out much more even.
Also looking at these photos I think you are very pretty.
Jenna,
The dry cut is a good point. My latest stylist washes it, cuts it a little, dries it and then finishes cutting for exactly the reasons you mentioned.
I love picturing your hair cells going to the convention. 🙂
My hair is both thin and fine (and now steely gray-ish at the roots when it’s time to visit my stylist). For the most part, I like my stylist, but it seems I always forget some detail when she asks me what I want. For example, it’s currently “sort-of” stacked in the back and that is never a good thing when I’m trying to style my hair. And sometimes our definitions of “slightly layered on the ends” are a tad different. But overall I am pretty happy with it – I can air dry until almost dry, then just a few minutes with a dryer and straightener. And thanks to older age, I don’t have to shampoo everyday – I can just touch-up with the straightener.
I hope your appointment today brought answers and comfort. And I’m glad you had a visit from your sweet daughter!
Sue Ellen,
You are so right about the differences in terminology between customer and stylist. Like the word you used, “slightly.” That can be interpreted soooo many different ways.
Glad you have found a style you are happy with. Quite the accomplishment!
Bahaha, great pictures!! Very enjoyable to read and its very brave of you to post all the seasons of hair drama. Do you color your hair too? That’s a whole other thing lol. I guess with short hair, you have to get it cut a lot.
As for me, my hair has always been shoulder length or longer. Sometimes a blunt cut, sometimes layered. But at the end of the day usually at my shoulders. Until now. I have decided to let it grow longer. Just because I can and I want to do it before I get too old(whenever that is lol). Ive never had bangs because I have a huge cowlick on the right side of my forehead, so any bangs there would stick straight up. Little prince George has the exact same cowlick on the same side. I noticed the big telltale swirl in his newborn pictures. It can’t be missed lol.
Mostly my issue is that my hair type has changed as I go through menopause. It use to always be wavy and manageable. Now it is so curly, with banana curls hanging down. I do not know what to do with it. I had to buy shampoo and conditioner for curly hair so it doesnt get frizzy. It really is the bane of my existence right now.
Lesley,
Yes, I do color my hair too, but only twice a year with a pretty “blendable” color. And I get it cut every 5-6 weeks.
Pretty cool to have the exact cowlick as Prince George. You run in pretty exclusive circles!
Menopause is definitely a game-changer in a lot of ways, hair included. Hopefully, the curly hair shampoo/conditioner does what it’s supposed to. I always get overwhelmed by how many choices there are out there. Good luck in finding the products that work for this Hair Season.
I think I just tolerate my hair. Like you, I have been trying to grow mine out some. It’s a long process because every time I get it cute, my stylist says “We’ll cut the bottom until the top layers catch up.” My mother keeps asking me “what are you trying to do with your hair?” However, I have had friends tell me it makes me look younger.
I have a prominent cowlick on the right side of my hair line. Which means when I have bangs, they can often turn out different lengths if they are cut when they’re wet. I also have what my colorist in Tampa called twin peaks, my hair swirls on both sides of the back of my head. I have a lot of hair but it is baby fine so I highlight every 3rd haircut to give it a little more body.
I have a stylist that is pretty good. She is also my friend’s granddaughter. She’s also about 5 months pregnant and only works in the salon on Wednesday. So, in about 4 months, I will need to find someone else to take care of my hair while she is on maternity leave, assuming she comes back after the baby is born.
I have found finding a new stylist when I move to be harder than finding a doctor. Since 1993, I have moved five times. It took me a while to find one I liked in Tampa – had one that got pregnant so had to find a new one. I had the same one for close to 10 years and he knew my hair and all its oddities. Only problem, he didn’t do color, thus the colorist.
One time when I was in junior high or high school, my hair had faded out over the summer. My mother, who had more cowlicks than I do, got the bright idea to put a rinse on it. Great except it turned my hair orange!
So long story short or maybe short story long, I definitely feel your pain when it comes to hair!
Hope you got some answers today from your new doctor.
Phyllis,
Nope, orange hair is never the outcome we hope for. 🙂
I totally agree about the challenges of finding a new stylist. And then to find one and have them leave on you . . . frustrating! Glad you’ve found one in Tampa.
Oh Becky, I feel your hair pain!! I have been going to the same stylist for the last 30+ years. She usually does a pretty good job. But over the last couple of years, when I tell her how I want it cut, she has been known to “scalp” me! Eeeeeeekkk!!!!! And it’s not like I am asking for big changes or a brand new style. Just a few extra layers here and there, etc. Now today, I like my hair. It has actually been good the last 2 months. but sometimes, Oh my gosh. Not good. And the worst part is that our town is so small and I just really feel like I can’t walk away from her without a good excuse. I honestly feel like I will finally get away when either she dies or we move out of town. LOL! It’s crazy!
I really like your long-ish style and hope that it will continue for you. You always look so great!!
Hang in there!
I also will pray for a good doctor appointment for you too.
LeeAnne,
Yep, that is definitely an awkward situation when you don’t like your long-time stylist and you live in a small town. Thankfully, you’ve been liking it for a coupl eof months so hooray! Even ONE good hair day is enough to make me inordinately happy. 🙂
I smiled so big throughout your post, but wanted to scream and cry for you too! I had a gal cut my hair once and it was so uneven, it was horrible. I went in to great clips and they did what they could to fix it but it mostly had to grow out and I had to keep going in for trims for the uneven growing out process. I now have long hair and am actually going tonight to have a good 4-5 inches cut off. I’ll still be able to wear it up or down so all will be good…hopefully and fingers crossed that how could they screw up a straight across cut?!?! How fun to have Sarah home for the weekend, I love it when my kids come home for a weekend. Prayers for answers for your RA
Wendy,
Your hair must be REALLY long to cut off 5 inches and still be able to put it up! Hopefully, that cut went well and there were no “first paragraph” incidents that arose. 🙂
Oh Becky, I love this post. And you, for openly sharing IN PICTURES what so many of us deal with. My hair has been hither and yon since the beginning of my time, 5+ decades now. There have been a few times I’ve tried to grow it out, towards my shoulders. It grows sideways, so I’ve learned to tame it back so as to make it through doorways. I grew up in the time of feathered back hair. One hairstylist, when I was a teen, promised she could make me look like one of Charlie’s Angels. I think that was around the time a boy in high school told me, “Your hair looks like it mopped the floor, and no one wrung it out afterward.” He meant it to be funny, and it sorta was. Sad part, though, it was true. I finally came to the conclusion soon after, that I’d stick with short. Even with requests of a simple short cut, though, numerous hairstylists try to get creative, and I end up looking like a poodle who’s been mauled on a rainy day. I finally realize I am blessed with steel-wooly-ish hair. It’s gonna do what it’s gonna do, especially in humidity. I have gone to fancy stylists. They puff and poof, and I’ve paid them a premium. BUT, currently, after a few years living in our new town, I’ve found happy consistency with a stylist at a local cheap chain cuttery, and couldn’t be happier. Prayers as you travel to Duke.
Ann,
What a funny comment and one I could relate to with every single word. I especially loved that you had to turn sideways to make it through doors. I had hair like that, too.
And what is it about stylists trying to be creative instead of giving you what you ask for? Don’t even get me started! Glad to know you’ve found someone you like–and cheap, too!
Well, Becky! Even though no good usually comes after that well, Becky, let me, the girl with stick straight, baby fine, long (getting ready for my 4th and last hair donation in a few months) virgin hair let you in a little secret. Keep in mind I’m not a stylist and a wash and wear person because even if I were to curl it, in less than 2.3 seconds, the curl is gone. Not even the Aqua Net that inconspicuously hides itself on the bottom shelf in the corner of any drug store can keep my hair curled. Now come in closer and here’s the secret. People with curly, wavy hair; should not have a perm! ? And, stop wasting money at salons! The best stylists are hidden away at your local Hair Cuttery or Great Clips & walk ins are welcome! Just don’t tell anyone our secret! Take care & good luck today. Glad Steve is going with! Maybe there will even be a Dr. D. sighting!
I came back to finish up and looking at the pics & in LARGE pic #2 (red turtleneck & blue button up shirt)…..I so see Sarah in you in that picture. LOVE your hair in LARGE pics #5 & #7. The others are NOT terrible and very workable to fix to your liking by someone more talented as experienced doesn’t always mean good experience! I hope others can all share unhappy hair to commiserate with you. Sadly, other then some uneven bangs when I was younger or the time I cut my own hair, not much can go wrong with my hair as I described above. I do go from bangs to no bangs and did the long layers and it just doesn’t work; therefore, 99% of the time I wear my hair in a messy bun w/ a scrunchie (though, I think I’m getting too old for that)! But can’t wait to send my hair to MI. The Founder is amazing and started her Organization several decades ago (which includes a full service salon so the kids can come back anytime for aftercare, wash/style, new style, etc.) after being deeply saddened and shocked by another organization’s practices and requirements for help. I’m not going to post the name, but those of you who can read between the lines, there just wasn’t & still isn’t a lot of LOVE there. Hugs!
Jodi,
That is so great that you have found a wonderful organization to donate your hair to. I love that they also have a salon for follow up. How cool is that?
Interesting you can see Sarah in the turtleneck picture. I just went back and stared at it for a while but couldn’t see it!
Jodi,
This is a true saying: if you have curls, don’t try to add more. Don’t know WHAT I was thinking! 🙂
I haven’t heard the brand Aqua Net mentioned in a long time. Kind of fun to see a vintage hair care product pop up!
Prayers up for you RA visit!
I’ve rarely cut my hair and keep it long even at 64! I do get trims anywhere from 1 inch to 3, but I don’t have the time to mess with hair everyday before work or leaving the house! The last time I did change it up I went from hair beneath my shoulder blades WITH a spiral perm to a pixie cut that was very close to being a boy cut! I loved it…except for the upkeep every four weeks so I grew it out. Wear it up, wear it down … it all works! I’m with Deb Mantik on how well the younger girls have the methods down pat for make-up/hair.
Guerrina,
Long hair to a pixie cut? You are a brave woman! Glad it turned out well for you.
Yep, I agree with Debbie, too. It makes me crazy to see a 13-year old walk in with better hair and makeup than what I have! It’s taken me over 50 years to even get close to knowing what I’m doing and they seem to come out of the womb with that knowledge already instilled. Sigh.
Always so entertaining! Must admit I am a wash and wear hair girl so mine is short and silver. But if I were to offer an opinion it would be that a same length chin length bob would look great on you.
Liz,
I have definitely trying to get back to that same length I had before The Incident.
Good for you that you can wash and wear. Jealous!
I moved this summer with my son and his family. I am a live in granny at this point. Anyway, i have tried two different shops since we moved. Thsy both have cut my hair shorter in back, till it looks like yours in the back. I a. Almost afraid of what will happen next time i go to have my bangs trimmed. In both cases, they said let me even this out just a little.
Sharon,
Ok. The “even things out” words are ones you NEVER want to hear! Good luck on finding someone you love in your new place. And enjoy being a live in granny!
Oh Becky, you had me laughing so, I had to dab my eyes! ‘Cuz us gals can so feel your pain, or maybe I should say, ‘ first paragraph’ empathy! Well said, my friend. ? Continued prayers for your journey.
Cheryl,
First paragraph empathy. Love that!
Glad I could send a couple of laughs your way. I was laughing as I wrote–in between the tears. 🙂
I was happy to see your new blog up already when I checked this morning–a nice start to my Monday! 🙂
Prayers sent as you go to your appt. today. ♡
I sure enjoyed the Hair Saga! Those pictures range from blackmail fodder to fashion magazine cover. ? It is truly amazing how many bad cuts you have had. It’s like me and computers–you must have some kind of force field. When you were here, I thought your hair was just beautuful. Fingers crossed your current stylist will continue to Just Say No to the diabolical First Paragraph membership.
I’ve had the same stylist for the past 11 years and she has very rarely done anything alarming. And when she has, she’s always been able to render pretty good first aid! I dislike my hair most of the time, just because I lack styling know-how. I get pretty frustrated when I see these little 15 year old girls who seem to know how to do hair and make-up like a professional. Makes me wonder why I get out of bed.
So anyway, thanks for a very entertaining post! I feel your pain! But you always pull it out in the end and look beautiful anyway, so you’re golden. ?. Love you!
Deb
Deb,
Blackmail fodder to fashion magazine cover. That sentence is quite the mouthful. And yes, a stylist who “just says no” is high on my wish list.
I so relate to the young girls who are so adept at makeup and hairstyling. Just don’t know how they pull it off.
You already know how I feel about YOUR hair–have always loved it!