Um . . .
Actually, there’s no reason to read Sarah’s blog post in such a hurry but I just thought that your Tuesday morning routine might need a bit of excitement inserted into it. You’re welcome. (The post I’m referring to is the one I wrote about yesterday concerning her decision about college.)
And since I’ve already disrupted your Tuesday morning with my dizzying display of exclamation marks, may I just add one more thing about this daughter of mine?
No matter where she goes or what kinds of things she learns in her future studies, there are two attributes she already possesses that no college could ever impart to her. Those attributes are thoughtfulness and compassion.
As one example: I had a couple of challenging days last week so Steve and Sarah did the grocery shopping for me. After they got home, I went upstairs to my writing chair and found this little package waiting for me.
Sarah knows peanut M&M’s are one of my favorite candies and she knows how loudly chocolate speaks to my soul. So while at the grocery store, she snagged a bag of candy for me, attached the note and left it for me to find–just one example of one of the many quiet ways that Sarah makes a difference.
And speaking of quiet, I would be the first person to say that in a noisy, noisy world, Sarah is the truest sort of introvert. She’s not flashy or splashy or verbose or loud. And she’s perfectly comfortable with that.
She has the soul of a poet. She has the essence of an artist. She has a heart that is home to words, prayers, wisdom and the most lovely shades of serenity.
No matter where her college and career paths lead her, Sarah will always be at home and comfortable in her own skin.
That is just one of the many things I love about my baby (grown up) girl.
sounds like that little girl has grown up ….I was much like her when I was young. All I wanted to do was stay home with my mom in my comfort zone. My dear mother pushed me to go off to college and live away from home so hard for her. My father was so opposed…but my mom, who lived at her parents house until she was married, wisely told me that I needed to learn how to live on my own and need to learn how to live with other folks. She said learning tolerance was huge. so hard but so huge for me. made me stronger. Just a thought!
Lauren,
Excellent point. It sounds like you had a very wise mother! 🙂
Steve and Sarah and I have definitely discussed this aspect of Sarah’s decision–more than once, as a matter of fact. And for Sarah, for now at least, staying in town is the best thing for her to do. (Part of the decision is also financial.)
Even though she is staying close, we are going to strongly encourage her to be involved in various groups and clubs on campus, to volunteer, to take trips, to take as many steps toward “breaking away” as she possibly can during this season of transition. In other words, she’s going to be receiving many nudges out of the nest. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story; it’s so interesting to read how different people handled those college years.
Enormous congratulations to Sarah from Canada: what an exciting time in your life. It sounds like you made a very wise decision for your college experience. Education can be so costly, that it is a good idea to save money where you can (ie by living at home at least the first few years). And, even more, I really think you made a good decision to try one big change (in education) before the other big changes like moving out on your own. There is absolutely no hurry, and one thing i wish someone had told me when I was your age was it is okay to grow up at your own pace and take new things as they come. And I also wish someone had told me to just let loose and enjoy the experiences too- i was way too serious at the time. (Not that being serious isn’t good, it’s just that I wish I had had more fun as well and relaxed a bit!) Here’s a question for you: in Canada we apply to specific programs/ faculties at our universities, do you do the same in the USA? (ie will you be studying for a specific degree field starting in your first year, or do you take general studies and declare a major later on in the degree? For example, I studied Physical Therapy when I did my degree many moons ago (which is a completely different field than my current work of writer and editor).
And Becky, the part you mentioned about Sarah being an introvert?! I say: YAY FOR INTROVERTS!! I am one of the most introverted people I know, although people are usually surprised when i say that (because I also have developed strong social skills). However, I am a very quiet person who is most energized by quiet and solitude (and can get pretty anxious when I don’t get enough of it). I love people, but at the same time can get depleted easily. And I love pursuits such as writing and reading and walking in the forest. I grew up in a family of extroverts where only extroversion was valued and introversion looked down upon, and it took me until just in recent years to be able to accept and celebrate my introverted personality. Now, my husband (even more introverted than me) and I are raising our extroverted daughter- and that can make for interesting family dynamics sometimes! I think it is so great how each one of you in your family are celebrated for your own unique characteristics.
Jenna,
I agree. Hooray for introverts! 🙂 And I love what you said about celebrating each family member for his or own unique characteristics. I’m so sorry you didn’t experience that when you were growing up but happy to know that you have come to a point of acceptance about it.
Sarah is actually quite the student of introversion; even to the point of reading books about it. (She has a great story that happened at school concerning the whole introversion deal which I hope she will blog about soon.)
As for college and general studies, I believe that the first couple of years are mostly general studies and then the focus narrows more toward the major as the student progresses.
And your advice about not being so serious and having fun is excellent–Sarah tends to be on the more serious side, too, so a little more focus on fun would be just the thing! 🙂 We are so fortunate to hear the stories of our Smithellaneous readers and find out what you gleaned from your own college experiences. Fascinating!
Hi there, Jenna! Thanks so much for your in-depth comment!
I think I discovered introversion about four or five years ago and the concept that it is perfectly alright to need quiet time has been life changing! As a kid, I would feel guilty if I told a friend, “Let’s play for three hours, okay? Then I want to go home/you to go home,” though not in so many words. Now I understand why I sometimes feel exhausted in situations where other people are bursting with energy!
To learn more about introversion and find support in other “innies”, I highly recommend the book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain. If you’re on FaceBook, I also recommend “liking” the following pages:
https://www.facebook.com/SocialIntroverts
https://www.facebook.com/TheIntrovertEntrepreneur
I’m so glad that you’re learning more about yourself and I hope you grow more than ever… quietly! 🙂
-Sarah
Good morning Sarah and Becky,
It sounds like we have a lot in common personality wise! What you said Sarah about some situations causing you to feel exhausted when other people are bursting with energy- can I ever relate to that! I find I get really sensory-overwhelmed in places with a lot of noise, bright colours, stimulation, high energy etc. On the other hand, walking in nature, swimming, reading (and spend time deeply contemplating what I read), writing etc can be deeply restorative. Right now, it is so cold (minus 40 over the weekend) and so snowy I can only walk a little bit outdoors. We’re still at least a month or two before spring begins, however only a 5 minute drive from my house is the most wonderful (indoor) plant conservatory. It has tulips and orchids and four pyramids full of all sorts of plants- even a tropical one that feels like a rain forest! I often bring a book to go read and sit and soak in the sunshine streaming into the conservatory. It is the most wonderful, quiet, re-energizing place for me right now!!
Thanks for the facebook links and info about introverts. I can’t wait to check them out! I spent all of my childhood and most of my early adulthood feeling so ashamed that I was introverted- and i put huge levels of energy trying to be extroverted. In many ways I succeed in appearing like an extrovert- but it absolutely depleted me in many areas of my life. I am so grateful now to be able to accept my quiet self for who God made me. In fact, now I am glad to be an introvert- it makes for a lovely, calm, wonderful life. I love that I am able to enjoy life so deeply now. I am so glad Sarah to hear you have reached this place of self understanding some years ago- I am glad you won’t have to climb the rocky journey to self acceptance that I climbed my first decade or so of adulthood.
Sarah- I really think you should continue writing and maybe even make it your future career and area of university studies. When I read your writing, I see not just excellent writing skills, but a unique wisdom and perspective.
Have a great day!
SO PROUD OF SARAH!!!!!!!! 🙂
Lizz,
You and me both!
Perfect!
Thanks, Lesley. And thanks for writing out such an important part of your life story on Sarah’s blog; we were honored that you would share that.
Tears, what a wonderful love you share. She is a blessing in your life.
Anonymous,
It truly is a wonderful love–I am a wealthy woman because of love.
We are kindred spirits! Peanut M&M’s are one of my favorites too!! So happy to read about Sarah’s decision, and college plans!! That is absolutely wonderful! Although, it is kind of scary too… as I watch Abby, and know that her decision for college is not that far off… They grow up too quickly for sure!! Abby has aspirations to come to Duke, so she will not be too far away from home (30 minutes) if she is accepted… makes my heart glad that she does not want to jet off across the country just yet! 🙂
Tiffany,
Let’s hear it for Peanut M&M’s! (They’re especially good put in a bag with popcorn at a movie; a rare treat.)
How lovely that Abby is planning on staying close. Happy for her and for you!
Sarah is indeed a gifted writer! Hooray for her college choice!!!!!
Mrs. Pam,
Yup, that girl LOVES to write!
I haven’t read Sarah’s blog yet, but I just wanted to say that she is such an amazingly mature young woman. Being comfortable in your skin at any age is an accomplishment, but for a teen – very impressive! Now I will read the blog. Hope you feel better, Becky.
Liz,
Yes, that “comfortable in your skin” thing is something many people never achieve. It’s a true treasure of life. And I’m feeling a bit better-thanks for asking! 🙂
What a lovely tribute to your daughter, and I agree with the other posters, she is a gem and a gift…..as I’ve said before, I just love your family!!!
Dale,
I love the line, ” a gem and a gift.” Two perfectly descriptive “g words!”
I think Sarah’s choice is perfect, and I know you will love having her at home for two more years! I have a hard time figuring out how she is old enough to attend college.
Cindy,
I’m with you on that one. I think Sarah must surely still be twelve!
You have been blessed with a wonderful daughter. God isn’t done with here yet. Becky – Hope you are feeling better. Becky
Becky,
Thanks for your sweet words. It will exciting to see where the rest of Sarah’s life takes her!
I have read Sarah’s blog. Wonderful, wise, loving and perfect choice for her. She is a gem. She is a gift. Her miracle continues and it makes my heart happy that I can be just a small cyberspace part of it. Thank you for sharing. As I told Sarah, celebrate! She has done a very nice job in her selection of a college. Smiling for all of you.
Becky, hope you are feeling better.
Mary,
And thank you for being such an important cyberspace part of our lives. All the comments you have faithfully left over the years and given us a glimpse into your life and we are grateful for that.