I was in my usual Post Office People Watching Position one recent afternoon when I noticed an elderly woman accompanied by a nicely dressed man who appeared to be in his mid-fifties. They looked so much alike that I knew they had to be mother and son.
They appeared to have an important document to mail because they were asking a number of questions about certified mail vs. registered mail. I got the impression that the mother was quite independent and was determined to handle this particular transaction on her own. I could also tell that her son was doing his best not to overstep his bounds and yet was wanting very much to be available to help with any question or difficulty that might arise.
As it turned out, she did indeed end up handling the whole transaction on her own, or at least until the very end when it came time to pay the bill. It was an odd amount and when she reached into her wallet to pull out the bills, her son instinctively reached into his pocket to retrieved some change, determined to help in some way, however small.
For a moment I thought that she wasn’t going to allow him to do even that much but in the end, she graciously acquiesced. He leaned toward her and with love and tenderness, gently counted the change into her outstretched palm.
As I watched them, it occurred to me how much their roles had changed over time. I wondered how many times over the course of his growing up years–when he was five or nine or twelve years old—she had taken his small hand in hers and carefully counted out change into his upturned palm.
And now, decades later, their world had shifted. He was the one counting out the nickels and dimes, trying in some small way to repay her for all the times she had given small change—and big love—to him.
As I stood and watched this mother/son scenario, I couldn’t help but look ahead thirty years. I could see Nathan and me in the Post Office, with me a little stooped over and Nathan, tall and strong beside me. I could imagine him hovering near me, wanting so much to help and yet not wanting to breach the walls of my independence uninvited.
I could envision him reaching into his pocket and lovingly counting out twenty-three cents into my palm, happy to be allowed to help in some small way even as I struggled with finding my balance in that awkward transitional place between being needed and needing help.
As I brought my thoughts back to the present and watched the son take his mother’s elbow and tenderly guide her out of the building, tears filled my eyes. I felt so grateful to realize that the son I’m raising is well on his way to turning into a man like that–a man who will give me space to be my own person but who will also be ready to help when the smallest opportunity presents itself.
Even as I write these words, sitting alone in Nathan’s empty room and awaiting his return from college, there are tears in my eyes. They are tears of thanksgiving because I know that the son of my past and the son of my present have both given me every reason to believe that the son of my future will be a man of strength and love and compassion.
And when the inevitable day comes when I am not so strong and not so young, when he is watching out for me and counting the change into my palm–when that day comes, I know beyond any doubt that I will be in strong and tender hands.
This was so thoughtful and touching. A great message for the world. I shared it on my facebook page. I hope you don’t mind. I’m the director of nursing at a nursing facility and think this message is just the thing my staff, resident’s and families need to hear. Thank you.
Teresa,
Thanks so much for sharing the story with others who would love to read it. And blessings to you in your work as director of nursing; you make such a huge difference in peoples’ lives every single day!
Guerrina,
We can sure relate, can’t we?
Your final ponderment….tears flowing with you. 🙂
What an incredibly touching blog post Becky.
Jenna, thanks so much for your encouragement. I really love this particular post and loved being able to share it.
This touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes the first time I read it, as it has again today. If only all of us could take the moments we need with our aging parents with the patience and grace you observed and also know, in our heart and soul, that we will be tenderly and capably cared for also. You will reap the reward and the gift of their care and devotion from the labor of love in how you and Steve raised Nathan and Sarah. Let that settle into your soul and mind and warm your heart.
Mary,
Yes, it is a wonderful thing to see a glimpse of the future and know that the circle of love will continue.
Loved this even more the second time! I’m sure it brought me to tears in 2007 as well as today! I can’t help but think of Robert Munsch’s picture book; I’ll love you forever!” The part some of you may know & not realize you know is “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always as long as your with me, my baby you’ll be!” If you don’t know the book, the next time your at a bookstore or the library just read the book quickly (it will take less than ten minutes), you won’t be sorry! Just make sure you find a corner & have a tissue! It used to be a favorite in the classroom though I could never read it w/out crying! My students were too young to truly understand but I’m sure I explained more than many would with the added, “When your older it will make even more sense!” Ironically, I can’t tell you how many of those students have told me so many years later how right I was about the book!
In the past few yeas, I’ve gotten several cards w/ a picture of said former students, their spouse and newborn in an effort to share the great news and to tell me they read “I’ll love you forever” to their child every night & they remember me reading it to them! Of course my favorite was the one from two students from my first class (well over 20 years ago). They even told me in the first grade they were going to marry each other when they grew up (you know w/ the huge, gaudy, plastic vending machine ring) & did! Who would’ve thought!
I hope Sarah is feeling better today and is at home resting and getting back into tip top shape!
Jodi,
Yes, we have that book and have LOVED it through the years. I distinctly remember one particular night overhearing Steve reading it to one of the kids and his voice choking up at the end. It was definitely a wonderful, tear-producing story.
And how wonderful that your students have stayed in touch with you and let you know how much that book has meant to them, as well. That means you did a good job teaching when they take the time and trouble to be in contact with you!
Oh Becky, I loved it the first time I read it and I love it even more now. I too have a son that I know will be looking after me in later years (in fact he does that now, always checking on me to make sure I am okay). I actually gave him a humourous poem for his refridgerater Sons (and daughters) are wonderful blessings, one that I am thankful to God for every day of my life.
Gail,
It is truly a wonderful feeling to know that we will be well loved throughout our lives by these gifts God has placed in our lives. So thankful!