Hello from Orange, VA.
We’re on our way home from Uncle Lloyd’s funeral in Pennsylvania but stopped in Virginia last night to have dinner with a childhood friend of Steve’s. He and Diana went to kindergarten and first grade together in Woodbridge, England; both of their dads were Air Force fighter pilots. They saw each other again in 1976 and then didn’t meet up again till last night.
So interesting to hear all the stories of the intervening years.
(We removed our masks for the pictures; we had been wearing them earlier.)
Diana is a commonwealth attorney and her husband is a parole officer; they met for the first time in a courtroom. When they decided to marry, they sent out wedding invitations disguised as subpoenas and were married by a judge in the same courtroom where they met. At the end of the ceremony, the judge sentenced them to “a life sentence without parole.”
Is that not so great?
with a side trip to Duke for my semi-annual pulmonology appointment.
I’d had pulmonary function testing done two weeks ago and was especially interested to hear the results since I’d had to go to my family doctor last week with a worsening of symptoms and a decrease on my peak flower meter. She said my lung sounds had diminished and she was concerned that it was taking me a while to get my breathing back to normal after a walk test. She put me on a new inhaler and said to head straight to the hospital if my peak flow numbers got any lower.
My Duke doctor told me that the part of the test that is the most insightful for my condition, the fev1, had decreased by 15% since six months ago. Obviously not a good thing.
He said that breathing tests can fluctuate month to month and year to year but that decrease, coupled with the fact that I was having out of the ordinary breathing trouble, got his attention. He put me on yet another inhaler and started me on a high dose of steroids. He has also scheduled me to have the pulmonary function testing repeated in eight weeks. So we’ll wait for that test and hope for the best.
Steve and I have made many trips to Slippery Rock and Grove City over the years since his parents grew up within a few miles of each other and many of his family members are still there.
Since he and I don’t live near extended family, it’s always a joy to experience those rare moments when we can walk into a room and instantly be a part of our tribe, a tribe replete with cousins, aunts, uncles, and family friends. Although funerals are not joyous occasions, they are occasions that bring families together and that brings a joy of its own.
Steve and I, along with his cousin, Rene, were asked to sing for the funeral so as soon as we arrived, we headed down to the fellowship hall for a quick rehearsal.
Anyone who knows me at all knows how much I love old buildings. I especially love old churches and I really, especially love old churches with fellowship halls in the basement where hundreds of wedding dinners, baby and bridal showers, and potluck dinners have been held.
You can stand in the middle of the room and if you stay quiet for a few seconds, you can hear all the laughter and conversation from decades and generations gone by.
Over the years, I have seen plenty of extravagant and gorgeous decorations which I have loved. But there is something so simple and sweet about a cheery vase of doily-underlaid fresh flowers. Absolute perfection.
After our fellowship hall rehearsal, we headed back upstairs for the service. On the way, we passed this magnificent wall where each family in the congregation had contributed a cross.
There were picture boards placed in the foyer of the church. This photo of Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Gwen was especially poignant since they were married in the same place where their funerals were held. (Steve’s parents were also married there.)
I spotted some familiar faces in a few of the photos.
In this one, I am pregnant with Nathan. Aunt Gwen is on my right with my sister, Debbie, and brother-in-law, Randy, on the other side. This is one of the first RV’s we lived in (two couples in 320 square feet of space) when we first started traveling together.
I was very new to the family in this photo. I’m sitting next to Ken and Vernie and across from Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Gwen.
I was especially touched to see that a blog post I had written about Uncle Lloyd last year had been printed off and set out in the church lobby for people to read.
Steve, Rene, and I sang He Touched Me and Amazing Grace. It’s always a joy to make music with family.
Steve got up and spoke words of tribute to the man who had influenced his life so greatly.
After the service, we all made our way back downstairs for a lunch provided by the church ladies. (Lord, bless all the church ladies over the years who have prepared so many meals for so many occasions.)
The menu was sliced ham, potato casserole with corn flakes on top, green beans, and rolls. It was the quintessential funeral meal and every bite was delicious.
As we left the church that day, my attention was caught by the brightly lit windows showcasing the crosses behind them.
A beautiful last memory of the day spent honoring and remembering Uncle Lloyd.
I have a few more non-funeral stories and photos from our trip that I will feature in later posts.
Once again, thank you for following along during this month of funerals and for your words and prayers that have meant so much.
What about you? What kinds of things has your August been filled with? I’d love to hear from you.
Dear Becky, I LOVED your picture of the church windows, golden in the light! If you like old churches, you would surely love this one near me, Hailes Church – it dates from 1135! nearly ONE THOUSAND years old! It is still a functioning church and many years we go there to sit on the narrow pews (people must have been smaller then!) by candlelight (it has no electricity and is COLD!) for the Advent Service, which is always wonderful. This is the link to see a photograph
britainexpress.com/counties/glouces/churches/Hailes.htm It sits alone in a field, sturdy and small, undefeated by the centuries and I like to picture people of old from local villages making their way to it across the fields in all weathers.
Glad to see the beautiful pictures of Sarah in a recent post. As long-term Sarah fans my daughter and I will always be glad to see that lovely girl thriving.
Sorry about your lung issues. I have asthma so understand a little the frightening-ness (is that even a word!) of being short of breath.
Much love from England, Teresa and Juliet
Teresa,
Sturdy and small, undefeated by the centuries. Beautiful. They need to use YOUR words in their literature about the church.
I looked at the information and photos you sent and immediately decided to hop on a plane tomorrow to go and photograph it. (In my dreams.)
It IS interesting that the pews were so narrow back in the day. But small pews, cold, and no electricity are small prices to pay for the incredible experience it must be to sit in the building for an Advent Service. I, like you, would be thinking about all the people who have made their way there through the hundreds of years . . . and all the stories each person brought with them.
Thanks for sharing that wonderful place.
Becky,
I am so sorry to hear of your worsening lung issues and keep you in my prayers. Hopefully the new meds will help. I am glad that you were able to come to Pennsylvania for Lloyd’s service and to be a part of it.. I am sure your singing was very meaningful to all in attendance. Also loved The wall of crosses, that your blog about Lloyd was there and the photo history you shared. I am also glad that you had a little extra time here to visit with family and friends. If you are ever in the area again perhaps we could meet. I love that area and it is not that far from where I live. I’m sure if you had the time to meander along some of the roads in the area you would find many photo ops in the rolling hills, fields, old buildings and small towns. I especially like to take photos of interesting old barns. I am a small town, country girl at heart!
Stay safe, God bless you and yours.
Hugs,
Linda in Pittsburgh
Linda,
Yes, I DID have time to meander and I LOVED it. I will post some of the pictures in a future blog. And I am just like you–I love to see interesting barns. We stayed with Steve’s cousin and wife and they had a fascinating barn right on their property so I was in heaven. One afternoon, I spent a couple of hours blissfully driving through Amish country and had such a great time on all the back roads.
It would certainly be lovely to meet on a future visit. Thank you for your encouraging words and your prayers.
So sorry to hear that your breathing issues have increased. I wonder how you manage any anxiety when the shortness of breath comes on? Is it even possible? I guess I am wondering because since the whole Covid thing came on, my anxiety appears as shortness of breath, which surprises me. I also know from working with those who have breathing issues, the anxiety is just as debilitating as the illness itself. So, just a nurse here, wondering how you cope in the moment. I hope your new meds give you some relief.
I love the wall of crosses, so personal and lovely. The old pictures are great! So many details to look at. How wonderful that they included your blog post about LLoyd.
From all your photography, I get the feeling that you look at everything as a photo, whether you take one or not. By this, I mean your brain sees the world as if you are looking through a lens, all the time. Light, color, composition. My brain does the same thing. Everything is seen as if I am looking through a viewfinder. I believe it’s a gift and happens unconsciously and without effort. My natural focus is the human face and yours is landscape.
OK, I’m done blabbing on and on, haha. Not much happening here in this month of August, slogging forward and focusing on new plans for where we will live next spring and a wheelchair van. Covid is forcing these changes for my Sarah and I, assuming she remains stable. Apartment living is too stressful for me now, no matter how much I love our apartment (people dont wear masks) and I can’t lift Sarah in/out of my car anymore, I need to be able to manage without help. So lots to think about. Hanging my hopeful hat on tomorrow.
Lesley,
I LOVE your closing sentence, “Hanging my hopeful hat on tomorrow.” Sounds like it should be a song.
As for your question about anxiety with difficulty in breathing, I honestly don’t experience that very much. I mainly just take a break to get my breath back and keep going. However, I have not had any severe breathing episodes; if I had one of those, I would doubtless deal with more anxiety.
I am sorry to hear that anxiety and shortness of breath have come into your life during COVID. It’s a heavy load to carry when you are responsible for not only yourself but also for a daughter with serious health challenges. And with a possible move and vehicle purchase in your future . . . well, that just exacerbates everything. Am continuing to pray for you both.
Yes, I do see everything around me as a picture, always studying the light, the shadows, the composition of each moment. I’ve taken thousands of photos with my camera and a million photos without it.
Thank you for sharing highlights of your trip in both words and photos. I particularly enjoyed your thoughts about old churches and the history of their social halls. It reminded me of special memories from Lucy’s childhood church, First United Methodist Church in Elizabeth City, NC. And I always enjoy seeing Pastor Steve with his guitar. Hope we’ll be able to see the two of you sing together someday. You and your family are always in our thoughts.
Fred and Lucy,
I know. Aren’t old churches the best? And the social halls carry within their walls so many stories and memories and laughter and tears.
It was fun singing with Rene and Steve; I was the rose between the thorns, the harmony between the spaces of melody. Music is such a wonderful gift.
I love that wall of crosses! What a great idea.
I’m so glad that you were both able to go to Lloyd’s funeral. Spending special time with family and friends.
Also, we call that potato dish “funeral potatoes”. They are so yummy
Praying for your health. I hope the medical team can come up with something.
Lord’s Blessings
Krista,
Perfect name for the potatoes. Funeral potatoes, indeed! There is just something comforting about them.
We were so thankful to get to be at his funeral and even more than that, getting to spend time with the people he loved and left behind. Such special moments.
Thanks for your prayers and concern over my health. I appreciate that so much.
My August consisted of my dad’s 94th birthday, a get together with a friend battling ovarian cancer and taking my dad to Springfield for his annual ophthalmologist appointment.
Kansas City is known for barbecue so I ordered some from his favorite restaurant and picked up a delicious peach pie from a local grocery store for my dad’s birthday meal. He didn’t know I was coming down so he was quite surprised.
Last Saturday I drove to Branson to be at the get together for my friend from grade school through college. Her cancer has spread to her liver now. She and her son have decided there won’t be a funeral when she dies but she wanted to get together with friends from all areas of her life. Her mom and 3 of her 4 sisters were there, there were several of us that graduated together and lots of fellow teachers of hers. She still lives in my home town. In the afternoon, we went to an empty Silver Dollar City parking lot and all walked a mile since the Ovarian Cancer walk is virtual this year. It was a long day but I’m glad I went.
Love the wall of crosses at the church. Prayers that your pulmonary function tests will improve.
Phyllis,
I love that your friend and son decided to arrange a non-funeral funeral where they could enjoy spending time with the friends and the family who would have attended the funeral. I can only imagine how special that gathering was replete with laughter and tears and memories.
And I really loved that you all walked a mile for the Ovarian Cancer Walk. So wonderful to hear stories of someone still so full of life as they make their way to their last days.
And bbq and a peach pie for a birthday sound just about right to me!
My August has been filled with back to school. A week and a half of professional development and now starting our 3rd week of virtual classrooms….Prayers that your new meds will ease your breathing…I’m sure it was special to Lloyd’s family to have you and Steve sing at his service…and I absolutely LOVE the idea of a cross wall with each church family contributing a cross…Continued prayers for you and your lovely family.
Sue Ellen,
I can’t even imagine teaching all day in a virtual classroom. How have your first three weeks gone?
Kudos and hats off to ALL of our educators during this season. What you do is so important.
Our first three weeks of virtual went surprisingly well. Much better (and much more structured) than in the spring. However, quite a few of us found that our chairs are NOT made for sitting all day. And I’m very thankful I purchased a pair of AirPods this summer, so I had some mobility. We had a few connectivity issues, but overall things went well. Ask me again in a couple of weeks and I may have a different answer. We just found out Friday at lunch that we will be doing virtual & in-person at the same time, so this week we are going to be learning how that will work.
Sue Ellen,
So glad to hear it’s gone well. And now you have to learn something else new: virtual and in-person at the same time? You teachers are amazing!
Please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you when you return to Durham… even if it is just saying hi! 🙂 You have my number, so please use it if you need anything! Praying for you!!!
Tiffany,
You are so sweet. It makes me happy to know that I have someone near if needed. Thank you for so generously offering to be available; I appreciate you!
Our August has been pretty busy but we are having lots of fun! We have spent a week in South Dakota (The week before the Sturgis bike rally….however we trail ride ATV’s and totally stayed away from the bikers. We also wore our masks whenever we were in public). We played in a golf tournament with friends, got to take our grand kids out and spend an afternoon with them eating lunch and playing mini golf and we just returned from a brief vacation to Breckenridge. (Again….masks, always.) I can hardly believe that the month is over!
I will pray for you and your health and that the steroids and inhalers work for you.
What a quaint little church. I love the idea of each family donating a cross. It is such a wonderful way to be inclusive and personal too.
Lee Anne,
How fun to trail ride ATV’s. Are there specific trails set aside just for that purpose? Golf, lunches, Breckendridge, grandkids . . . the best of times.
Yes Becky, there are trails for the ATV’s. There are SOOO many trails. Probably many hundred.The trail map, when unfolded, is about 4′ x 3′. It’s overwhelming. And ever so hard to find where you are on the map. At least we will never get bored with the same ‘ol trails. Lol
LeeAnne,
How interesting. Another new tidbit of info learned from my readers!
Thank you Becky! You, Steve and Rene made a very difficult day so very special. I do not believe I have ever heard Amazing Grace the way you shared it and I treasure the video that Andrea recorded. We so appreciated you and Steve traveling from North Carolina to share the day and your gifts. Love you both, Ken and Ginny
Ginny,
Thanks so much for leaving a comment. Your dad-in-law will be greatly missed by so many.
We were honored to sing at the funeral and so glad it was meaningful to you. So glad to be back in Pennsylvania; love the state and love the people who live there!
It was good to hear about your trip to the doctor, even tho the news wasn’t encouraging. Have continued to pray for you – for a miracle – from the top of your head to the toes on your feet. How wonderful that you and Steve were asked to sing at Uncle Lloyd’s funeral, know it was a blessing to those that were there. August – well, I too celebrated my birthday a couple days ago. Our granddaughter celebrated her 30th by making all the food and cake. She and Sara celebrate the same day. I loved all those crosses – looks like there is room for more. May the Lord encourage you Becky, you are so special to all of us and such an encourager yourself. We want only the best for you.
Sharyn,
Happy, happy (late) birthday to you, sweet Smithellaneous friend!
Loved that your granddaughter made all her own food and cake; she must love to cook.
I appreciate your prayers over my lung situation and your words of encouragement. That means a lot.
So sorry for your loss Steve and Becky. It’s hard losing loved ones. Praying for y’all. I don’t have much going on in August. I’m pretty low keyed these days. But in September I’m going to Ohio for a baby shower. So that’ll be fun. The circle of life continues. I pray you and Steve will find comfort and peace in the days and weeks ahead.
Catherine
Catherine,
Yes, the circle of life continues, indeed. So glad you get to take a trip to Ohio for such a happy occasion. There is nothing happier than a baby shower–the reminder that life goes on.
Oh, Becky. Precious, precious memories. You are always so generous in sharing heartfelt moments. Inspiring in so many ways. Thank you. Continued prayers for your health, sweet friend.🥰
Cheryl,
Thanks for your comment and your always affirming words. You truly have a gift of bringing smiles to those around you. Glad you and Buddy are well on the road to recovery.