My quantities of energy and time seem to be having a competition with each other to see which one of them is at its lowest ebb today.
I think they both won.
And that means the story I wanted to write about getting the biopsy results is going to have to wait just a little longer. (It will be worth the wait, I promise!)
In the meantime, I’ll post a few pictures of Sarah that I took before she left for her tutoring job at the High School (this morning) and her college class (this afternoon).
This is what a cancer-free smile . . .
looks like!
Interestingly enough, the day AFTER we got the good biopsy report was a tough one for Sarah. The release of the stress of two weeks of waiting left her feeling depleted and very emotional. Thankfully it was a day off for her so she got to stay in her room in her comfy clothes, reading, resting, and crying when she needed to.
She ended the day in the big chair in the living room, with a comforting cup of tea to ease the stress away.
I also had some stress after-effects at work yesterday, bursting into tears over absolutely nothing. I went to bed at 6:30 last night but am still feeling a little stretched today.
It seems weird to have these kinds of feelings when the news we got was so great but I think our bodies and minds are just wired this way—when stress is suddenly lifted, the realization of just how intense the stress was finally hits.
But regardless of the tiredness and the tears, the overwhelming feeling in the Smith house still looks a whole lot like this.
Love that smile. Love that girl. Love those words–no cancer!
I’m amazed at how often I’ve thought of you guys in the last couple of weeks… the internet can be an amazing place! Hope you’re having a relaxing weekend, with time to process the stress and fear and then, hopefully, let it go.
Kristina,
You just don’t know how much that warms my heart to read those words. They truly made me smile. And yes, I agree, the Internet is an amazing place–it makes strangers into a Smithellaneous family!
Love Sarah’s outfit! So stylish! May peace flood your hearts!
So glad to read of the good news! Huge sighs of relief here! Enough to stir up a strong breeze!
Yes, you all must take time to rest and calm down from the stressful waiting period. I can’t imagine! I’m 500 miles away from Manteo and I couldn’t sleep and felt like I was in a state of panic waiting to hear the news!!! And we’ve never met in person!!! No one walks life’s path alone. Sending strength and love always.
Ann,
I love your “strong breeze” line. Thank you for your reminder that none of us walk alone. It meant so much to me that you took our story and our experience to heart and walked it with us.
Beautiful Sarah……
Many comforting HUGS to you both….. Rest and relax you have been through SO much stress lately. LOVE you guys!!! XOXOXO Thanks for being in my life. Your family is such a blessing and gift.
Bea, you are always so sweet to say something encouraging. Thank you for being a ray of sunshine!
She looks so stylish and I love that smile and the joy it expresses!
She has just grown from a beautiful little girl into a beautiful young woman!
I remember the day I received my melanoma diagnosis (after over a week of waiting on results and knowing in my heart that’s what it was), how I wasn’t told anything but the diagnosis over the phone and how terrified I was and how heart-wrenching and all over the map my emotions were. But I had to have surgery hours later that same day and I just really didn’t have time to process everything until I arrived at the office and talked to my doctor and was told that it was stage I and caught extremely early and surgery would take care of everything. I too spent days afterwards curled in bed, recovering from surgery in a range of emotions from happiness to tears. It was like that build up of fear was still competing with the complete relief I knew I should be feeling. Almost like I was afraid to believe it was really real. And then still of course knowing that I’d had something growing inside of me that shouldn’t have been. Not a fun feeling. I hope this is the last of Sarah’s health scares!
Rachel,
I’m so sorry you had to go through the wait and then the fear of it being worse than it actually was. Thankful the surgery dealt with the problem and that you were able to spend a few days processing it all emotionally. Here’s to future good health for Sarah AND you!
Becky, I hope you feel better soon, I know those infusions are always rough on you and to have one right after that agonizing long wait . . . No wonder you feel so weary.
Beautiful pictures of a beautiful young woman. Thanks for sharing her journey with us . . . I have been following since the early days of her diagnosis. Keeping you all in my prayers.
Linda in Pittsburgh
Linda,
Yes, it was kind of a double whammy, hitting all at the same time. I think I’m just about recovered!
And may I say how much we love our long time followers!
I think it is perfectly natural to experience shaky emotions and tears after all you have been through these past weeks, and especially with the history of cancer you have (which I imagine made it all the more traumatic having walked this road of cancer already and having a sense of what could have been had the results been different). Tears and rocky emotions are a normal reaction to intense stress, they are the body’s way of coping. I especially imagine as you contemplate what could have been that you must all feel a huge outpouring of emotions. Know that your smithellaneous community walks with you, in the good days and the difficult ones too.
Jenna,
Emotions are a funny thing, aren’t they? You’re just never quite sure when they’re going to hit, or in what form. But you’re right–they are the bodies way of coping so I am thankful for them.
Sarah is so beautiful! Love her outfit! I can’t even imagine the stress of all of that, I hope you all will be able to have a day or more of resting.
Beautiful smile. It is amazing how you feel after a good cry. Whether you are crying for a good reason, a bad reason or no reason at all crying does release stress even if you didn’t realize that you were stressed.
couldn’t say it any better than my fellow St. Louisan!!!
take time to re-energize.
Still praying and praising God for the news. I hope you find rest, peace and comfort this weekend. Hugs from a warmer and sunny Iowa!!
Marjie
I so relate to that feeling! So happy to see that smile! Blessings…
So, so happy for the good report! Love the lovely smile and the lovely smile-er! Can’t imagine the stress you all have been under–rest, rest, rest! Wish I could be there to ply you all with chicken soup and afghans and pluck worriedly at your sleeves….:-)
Sarah has the most beautiful smile! It is no wonder you are exhausted, two weeks of waiting for results will do that to you! Looking forward to hearing the story of how you ended up getting those results, but I am very patient in matters like this. Rest and relax…
Beautiful Sarah! You both need to take the time to let the steam out of the pressure cooker and regroup and refresh!
I’m sure we are all willing to wait to hear the whole story. You need to take time to breathe and take in all the good that God has blessed you with. Take your time and enjoy the warmth of love we are sending you and your family….
Relax today. Be blessed & refreshed. Take a deep breath. Do nothing!! Kay
Sometimes our body just needs a rest. I have been finding that out lately. Going to bed earlier and getting more sleep. Guess it catches up with us. So happy with the smile and no cancer. God bless and strengthen all.
Sarah ~ no words necessary. That smile says it all. 🙂 It’s been fun to ‘watch’ you grow up and change over the years….you’re just as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. Well done, mom and dad.
What a beautiful girl and I love the clothes she wears and her hair is perfection.
Becky, you all just ran a marathon – seriously! You may not have been actually picking up your feet and putting them back down for 26.2 miles but the stress of what you all just went through is as physically and emotionally taxing as if you had picked your feet up and put them down for all those steps and all those miles. You crossed the finish line! You had your arms held in victory and joy! The medal is around your neck…and then, it hits you! Like a ton of bricks. All the emotion and the physical stress rushes through your body – everything you have kept at bay so you could complete the race to the results. As you pick your way through that pile of bricks, a little at a time, feeling beaten and bruised you smile, your relive the joy of the victory and the strength you received from the battle and in several days, you heal, inside and out and the smiles are big and delicious! Take your time. Let yourselves heal. You have time!
Mary,
“Take your time. Let yourselves heal. You have time!”
Thank you for those beautiful words.
Great smile, super great reason for the smile!
I had a similar situation last week. Watery knees after getting the good news–and the $400 which I’ll need to spend to get the problem fixed suddenly sounded like petty cash. 🙂
Keep smiling, Sarah…unless you feel like crying now and then.
Jan,
So glad you got good news! And yes, our smiles may be sometimes interspersed with tears, that’s okay–for any of us!
Becky, once again thank you for helping me make sense of my days. When I wake up feeling depleted I have to stop and remember the days leading up to this feeling and realize it’s after a stressful situation has been resolved.
Karen,
Those are good words of wisdom–stop and remember! Look back and see what events brought you to the place you are and then so often, things will make a lot more sense.
You are beautiful Sarah!
she is so beautiful inside and out