I met a guy once who was twenty-three.
He was ornery and stubborn and cemented in his ways. His outlook was sour, and he had already grown a dozen decades older than his childhood. When he and I parted ways I thought, “That young man is so old.”
I met a woman once who was seventy-something.
She twinkled and smiled and talked about her future. She was mentally flexible and emotionally healthy and when she left, I noticed she was driving a red Mustang. As I watched her zip away I thought, “That woman will always be young.”
Back when I was ten, I couldn’t imagine the possibility of being forty, let alone seventy. Because when you’re ten, forty is old.
I mean undeniably, incredibly, anciently old.
But I’ve discovered in the intervening years that old has no meaning. Not really.
I just turned fifty. Yes, it got my attention because it was a birthday ending in zero. But big whoop. What’s a zero got to do with anything? My head and heart still feel like I’m rather thirtyish.
In this past half century of life, I have embraced a few joys and have faced a few tears. I have made it through the cancer journey of my daughter who was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma when she was six. We were gravely informed by a whole gaggle of knowledgeable pediatric oncologists that even with chemo, surgery, radiation, and a bone marrow transplant, she probably wouldn’t survive. (She’s now sixteen.)
I have gotten through my own breast cancer journey and have come out of it happy and healthy, even though it appears as though a couple of original factory parts I started out with have gone missing.
But missing parts or no, I am alive. Many of my breast cancer sisters aren’t. And every one of those women would gladly trade places with me in an instant.
The day before I turned fifty, I was asked to sing at a woman’s funeral. I found out right before I sang that the woman in the casket was forty-nine when she died. She would never get the chance to see the Big 5-0, that aging milestone that so many people dread.
As I sang, my sadness for her helped me feel all the more grateful that I had been given the gift of days, the gift of years. I was grateful for the wrinkles adorning my eyes and the wobbly flesh festooning my chin(s). I was grateful for every day I’d lived well and every day I had lived not so well. I was downright, flat out, plain ol’ grateful for life. For the opportunity to get old.
When my children reminisce about me after I’m gone, I want them to think of me as someone who always had a dream to chase and a purpose to pursue. I want them to think of me as someone who was tirelessly learning, endlessly curious, unfailingly compassionate–and at least a wee bit wise.
I don’t want them to think of me as a woman who fought to stay young but as a woman who made it a priority to get old with class and with panache. I want them to remember me as the kind of spirited old gal who would happily drive a red Mustang right on through my nineties, given half a chance.
Getting old is a joyful, frustrating, painful, precious process. And I wouldn’t trade it for any proffered Fountain of Youth simply because I wouldn’t be who I am right now if I was suddenly young again. And I like who I am right now–-wrinkles and wobbles and all.
I have come to realize that getting to be young isn’t life’s best season. The best season is now. The best season is getting to get old because the alternative to old is dead.
I like old.
(This is a favorite from the archives in honor of my fifty-second birthday tomorrow. I first posted it in June of 2012.)
I absolutely love this post….I’ll be 50 this year and I’m very proud of that. I look forward to the privilege of getting older. Over the course of the past year especially, this has been reinforced for me.
Robin,
So glad to know you love this post; I do too!
I also love what you said about getting older being a privilege. It truly, truly is.
And happy 50th to you. You’ve got great years ahead of you!
Happy birthday, Becky!…okay the day slipped away from me and now this wish is a day late..,,but stilll very sincere! Hope you enjoyed your special day and had a special time celebrating with your family! Birthday hugs to you. Linda in Pittsburgj
Linda,
Well, late wishes are just as happy to me as on time wishes. Thanks for thinking of me!
Happy Birthday, Becky!
I want to wish you a new year filled with happiness, joy and health. And many, many happy returns! Enjoy the day!
best wishes Nadine from Germany
Nadine,
It’s not everyone who gets birthday wishes from Germany! Thank you for sending long distance happiness!
Happy Birthday Becky. I turned 74 in Feb. and I’m a great-grandmother. In fact my oldest great granddaughter is soon to be 18, so I may wind up as a great-great one of these years! 🙂 I hope you make it that far, too! God bless and keep you.
Judimarie,
How wonderful it must be to be a great-grandmother. And to think that your great-great years are not too far ahead of you. You are blessed!
Amen and happy birthday!!! 🙂
Angela,
Thanks for the happy wishes!
Another thought… this reminded me of a saying I read a couple of years ago, which I think is hysterical and absolutely true. I love it so much that I may have already mentioned it here, but I’m fairly certain I haven’t.
“I still feel like I’m 20. Until I find myself with a bunch of 20-year-olds. And then I realize I’m definitely 30!”
Kristina,
Love that quote. And how true is that? Nothing like spending time with people younger than you to open your eyes to reality, right? 🙂
Happy Birthday!! And good for you… the whole “woe is me, I’m getting old” thing has never made much sense to me. You have two choices — get older or die. So I’ll take getting older any day!
And some people will say I’m too young to know for certain how I feel about aging… but 30 didn’t bother me, and I don’t think 40, 50, or 60 will either 🙂
Kristina,
You’re so right. Getting older means not dying. I’ll pick that any day of the week! And you’ll love the 40’s and all the decades beyond
Happy Birthday to my Beautiful Friend! Life looks good on you, Kiddo! (And you’ll always be younger than ME! LOL) Love you so very much!
Sheri,
You are so sweet. Love you, too!
Happy 52nd Birthday! 🙂 Have a wonderful day! 🙂 Oh I am turning the big 5-0 in June. I am actually looking forward to it because I don’t look or feel 5-0! Old is good. 🙂
Kristi,
The big 5-0 is great. Enjoy not feeling fifty!
I am 57 about to turn 58 and I thank God for that every day……my dear mother in law, whom I never got to meet, passed away at 57 and I know she would have preferred to have turned 58!!
Dale,
It’s so true that when you hear of someone who dies at your age, it makes that age all the more precious.
Amen to that! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am passed the big 6-0 and as much as it made me go “hmmmm….I’m old,” I thank God I had and have the opportunity to “hmmm” about my age and I hope there are many more “hmmms” to come! If that made any sense.
Mary,
Yes. It made perfect sense. Getting to say “hmmmmmm” for many years is a great blessing!
Happy Birthday you zippy thing you!
Steve,
That’s me. Mrs. Zippy!
I don’t know if I have to update something on my computer, but when I want to make a comment, or even look at your site, it freezes or jumps, so hoping this will go through to wish you a belated birthday. You are a special woman and know that your children will rise up and call you blessed. May the Lord give you many more years to be with your family and grandson (he is soooo cute) and to be of service for Him.
Sharyn,
Are you having trouble with any other sites or just this one? Let me know if things don’t clear up for you.
Thanks for your encouraging words about my birthday–and also, thanks for saying how cute my grandson is. I agree! 🙂
Hey, my computer does the same thing. Your page seems to be the only one to freeze up–totally frustrating. I use windows explorer a lot but others sites work well. When I go to google chrome, your site does better. weird. Great writing today, as always!
love deb
Becky … I love this, and totally agree! I want to be like some of the dear women of our church who never seem to age because they are so mentally young. Why yes, they have more wrinkles, more gray hair, more aches and pains, but they never stop. They keep serving God through service, prayer, and just plain out being an example of what living a Godly life is about. I love that, and your article!
Karen,
I know exactly the kind of woman you’re talking about; our church has them as well. We sponsored a blood drive and half a dozen of our over-60 women were there working and signing people in and serving food. They are such an inspiration to me! (Especially since I am speedily heading toward that age bracket!) 🙂
Agreed! And that said, I’ll take a red Ferrari!
Guerrina,
Ha. A red Ferrari would be great. You’d be the hippest older lady out there! (And you could come give me a ride.)
this was one of my favorites also. However, I bet you would have turned 51 sooner if you had known you don’t get to be a grandma until you are 51! So you’ve accomplished that and sliding right on into 52. Hope you have a wonderful Birthday. Becky
Becky,
Glad you enjoyed this the first and the second time! And yes, becoming a grandma certainly did make my 51st year a wonderful one. I wonder what adventures 52 will hold!