A few weeks ago I posted this picture of Sarah going on a date with her dad.
The school year had recently ended and just out of the blue on that particular afternoon I thought, “Steve should take Sarah out somewhere on a daddy/daughter date to celebrate her straight A’s and the end of her sophomore year.”
And so Steve called Sarah up and said, “Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?”
Sarah has never been one to turn down dinner with a handsome man and so she and Steve grabbed a gift certificate we had to a local restaurant and took off.
After finishing their meal, Steve asked the waitress if the restaurant might possibly be hiring; she sent him and Sarah over to a manager who sent them over to the gift shop where, as it turns out, someone had just quit.
By the end of the conversation, Sarah was hired–just like that! Since finding summer jobs for teens is not always an easy task, we were excited about the series of coincidences that led her right smack dab into her first real job!
The restaurant is Pamlico Jack’s in Nags Head; she works in the gift shop from 5-9:30 pm several nights a week selling t-shirts, souvenirs and jewelry.
She has turned into a Ninja T-Shirt Folder . . .
. . . . and a Ninja Stacker and Organizer as well!!
I’ve stood to the side and watched her with the customers and they all just love her. 
What’s not to love, right?
Although this job has been a great blessing to her, it didn’t start off real well.
On her first few nights of work, the computer was down and so an old cash register was brought in to “help” with her transactions. However, since Sarah is a bit like me in not loving math/money issues, she got confused right off the bat by the temporary cash register/computer set up.
Unfortunately, since she works by herself, there was no one around to ask for help when she got stuck. (The gift shop is a different company from the restaurant so she couldn’t ask restaurant employees. Her boss did make herself available by text or phone for basic questions, though.)
Sarah was also given the responsibility each evening for balancing her drawer and that whole process also turned out to be highly stressful.
For the first 2-3 weeks, every time I picked her up at the end of her shift, she was standing at the register with money and slips of paper and calculators . . . and tears streaming down her face.
The first time I saw all this, I started to fall apart a bit myself. My first instinct was to grab her by the arm and say, “Sarah, never mind all this. Come on back home with me and we’ll get in our pajamas and lie on the bed and read and you don’t have to work out in the big bad world ever again!”
But then I said sternly to myself, “Becky, you are the mom. You cannot cry. Sarah has to take these hard steps out of the nest and your job is to start letting go.”
So I calmed myself down and attempted (as the non-mathiest person on the planet) to talk her through the steps of balancing the drawer; however, we would still have to take frequent breaks so that she could escape to the nearby supply closet and cry before coming back out and trying it again.
My heart would just hurt for her because every afternoon when it was time to go to work, she would do her very best to look grown up and professional, fixing her hair, and spending a lot of time finding the right outfit to wear. She would say a brave goodbye as I dropped her off and as I’d watch her trudge up the ramp to the restaurant, I could just see the stress and anxiety in the way she was carrying herself. I knew there was a better than average chance that she would come home again that night in tears.
It didn’t help matters that one of the first nights she worked, a big ol’ blustery, uncouth guy had a conversation with her that was peppered with profanity. Although I know I can’t shelter her from people like that forever, my mama heart sure did want to try.
But then? After about two weeks I walked around the corner of the gift shop to pick her up and she looked up from the cash register and smiled. She actually smiled!
She said, “I had a good night, Mom. I think I understand things now.”
And then I was the one to burst into tears! (I tell ya, if it’s not one Smith woman crying it’s another.)
Since then, she has done really well with everything and has gained more and more confidence every day; she’s also gotten to know the employees of the restaurant and enjoys bantering with them as they pass by her little work station. Every night she comes home with a smile and a collection of entertaining stories from her evening.
Steve and I are proud of her for sticking with it, even through those first tough nights when she cried all the way home and dreaded going back.
I’ve come to realize that courage isn’t always a big dramatic thing. Sometimes courage is just getting up over and over and continuing to do something that is hard or scary until the scariness recedes a bit and some confidence starts to make an appearance in its place.
And so? I’m learning to let go. And that takes a bit of courage, too.
It’s not easy to watch my sweet, sensitive woman child enter the work world and deal with customers who have had a little too much to drink, or customers who may not always be the most pleasant to be around. I’m watching her develop her wings and realizing that the roots that she has planted in the soil of our family’s love and support will sustain her through this job, and all the other ones she will work in the years of her adulthood. She’s shown herself to be brave, and stronger than I knew.
Have I mentioned that I’m proud of my girl?
Because I am.
You have every reason to be proud of your daughter!
Grown and Flown, I LOVE your user name!
And yes, I AM proud of my little one who is growing and flying!
Oh how I can relate. But to the other end of it. My son got fired for something he did not do. And that hurts a Mom’s heart as well. I just wanted to go up ther and say REALLY you think he did that!! I think NOT!! I taught him bettter then that.. And with no proof that is what they did. OUCH!!!But life goes on and there are other jobs waiting for him. Now if only he could find them .LOL!!!
Catherine, having a son fired for something he didn’t do WOULD be a very great pain to a mama’s heart; I’m so very sorry that has happened. And I know it was especially hard because, as you said, you know that you taught him better than what he was accused of. Sending hopeful thoughts that he will find another job soon!
Good work, Sarah – a first job is sometimes the hardest you will ever experience and to perserve and make it a success is an accomplishment that you should celebrate and take pride in achieving. Then, to be able to enjoy it and make friends, is the icing on the cake. Nicely done, very nicely done.
Mary, you are such an encouraging lady! Thank you!
I hated finding out my “growing pains” weren’t over! Letting go is such an odd combination of pain and joy. Becky & Sarah, y’all get an A+!
Guerrina,
I think “growing pains” are forever, in one form or another. And you’re right–letting go is a whole lot of pain and a whole lot of joy. Nothing else quite like it!
An epidural would’ve been nice for some of it!
I hear ya, Guerrina!
Way to go Sarah- and Becky!
Jenna, thanks for the cheers! We have survived the first job adjustment period!
Congrats to her for sticking with it AND a huge CONGRATS to you for making a hard but difficult choice to not rush in and save her. Boy that’s a tough one but the rewards are awesome. I’ve been following your blog for a very long time and haven’t previously commented but this one stood out to me. I’m a teacher (1st and 2nd are my grades of choice) and even at that age children need to find their way, as hard as it may be. Great work to you and Sarah!
Betsey,
How nice to hear from someone who hasn’t left a comment before; that always makes my whole day!
Yes, the easy thing to do would have been to “rescued” her from the unpleasantness and run her straight home. (And I was sorely tempted.) But I think we BOTH learned a lesson from sticking it out. And you’re right; even little second graders need to learn that lesson!
I absolutely love this…. Just one of the many moments that we must let our children find their way. I love your blog. I love how you share so “down to the point” about many things that are on our minds…the readers. Thank you and “You go Sarah!”
SarahBeth,
Thanks so much for your encouragement; that means a lot to me. And I love your line about letting our children find their way. That’s what it’s all about as parents, but it’s not always the easiest thing to do!
Sounds like my first job experience! I worked in a restaurant as well, and though my main job was just cleaning and bussing tables, they occasionally put me on the register, and I have a pretty severe math learning disability. My drawer almost never came out balanced, sometimes it was quite a bit off and I had no idea how it happened. I also dealt with some very creepy and strange customers who would make some pretty alarming and sometimes obscene remarks to me. Sounds like she’s handling it well though, after a while you get used to it and learn how to deal with it! I think she’s having an easier time of it than I did!
Melissa,
Working with the public is an “interesting” thing to do, isn’t it? Most of them are wonderful but you get a few that stand out in your memory for all the wrong reasons. I know you’re glad you have moved way beyond THAT particular job. Sounds like a humdinger!
I am so proud of Sarah and you Becky for letting her grow her wings.
I am like you both math and me just don’t click. I never wanted to work a register as some one could short change me and I wouldn’t even know it till after the fact. Some have it and some don’t I certainly don’t have it. LOL
Fran from Western Pa.
Thanks, Fran!
Letting go is not the easiest thing in the world but it is sure important. And you and I just live life happily, staying far, far away from a cash register! 🙂
Hi Becky,
I work for Walmart as a part-time sales associate. I work in apparel and occasionally domestics/housewares. I also help run the fitting room which involves answering the tore phone. Occasionally I run a register when times are busy. It sounds like Sarah might have a future in retail. 🙂 Way to go, Sarah, for sticking it out thru those first tough couple of weeks!
Kristi, sounds like you’re a busy lady! Nice that you’re cross trained so that you can do several things for the store–makes you much more valuable! Like you, Sarah is getting some good lessons in all things retail.
You have reason to be proud!
Angela, yes, I do!
And so, your girl has learned one of the most important lessons in life; stick-to-it-iveness! The first couple of weeks at any new job (or any new THING really, including things like driving) are stressful. But then, everything falls into place and fun can once again be had. I bet the store manager is VERY glad to have such a conscientious, hard-working young lady as an employee. What a blessing on both ends!
Pam,
Yes, Sarah is VERY conscientious; she keeps the whole area very neat and is constantly straightening stuff and folding stuff. She will make a good mom with all those characteristics. Thanks for cheering her on!
Aw – this is really awesome that Sarah has stuck through it. Honestly, I’ve had a few jobs myself and if it helps Sarah to know, even being really great at the things you’re doing and you really love it, work can be frustrating for everyone when you’re trying to get used to something new. I graduated with my degree in child development and my first few weeks in my head start classroom left me wondering if I didn’t need to go back to school and do something completely different because oh my goodness I was scared I didn’t even LIKE kids anymore 😛 But I do, and I made it through the tough days (and still do) and realized that the rewards are far greater than the struggles. I haven’t been to Pimlico Jacks yet – but I’ll definitely have to try it out when we come down next 🙂
Rachel, thanks for sharing your story. It’s encouraging to anyone who reads it that everything takes a little getting used to, even the things we think we know and like. So important to remember!
I’m glad you’re once again loving what you’re doing after the tough days.
You Smith Women are a force to be reckoned with! Proud of you both! 🙂
Love (Aunt) Deb
Deb,
Yep, we’re a force, all right! Thanks for being proud!
I’m so glad Sarah has gotten used to her roles at her job. This looks like the perfect job for her!
And I love how her outfits are just as put together as your, Becky…necklaces that match her outfit!
Krista,
You’re right; it is a great job for Sarah because she has her own quiet little corner and there’s not a lot of chaos and noise and pressure like if she were a waitress. And thanks for the compliment about our outfits! 🙂
reminds me of how Sarah tackled the first few days/weeks of school in Manteo.
She’s a trooper!
Mrs. Pam,
Yes, she has learned a little in her life about tackling hard stuff. It’s a good lesson to learn.