On Saturday, April 2, at 7:25 p.m., Vernie and Ken enjoyed their first heavenly hug.
Steve and I had visited her every day during the previous week. She had been coherent and alert up until Wednesday when she started to decline, barely able to stay awake and not speaking at all. The hospice nurse said she couldn’t imagine Vernie hanging on for more than twenty-four hours.
Because of Covid, no one was able to be with Steve’s dad when he died and Steve and I were determined that the same thing would not happen with Vernie.
When we arrived at her room Thursday morning, we assumed she would pass that day and we would be back at her house to sleep that night.
Twenty-four hours later, she was still there.
Twenty-four hours after that, she was still there.
Every once in a while, Steve would pull out his guitar and sing to her so she had some traveling music.
We stayed in that hospital room with her for a total of sixty hours–loving her, listening to her ragged breaths, counting the seconds between. We never again heard her voice but we knew her spirit was still shining.
Although we slept in our clothes on vinyl furniture, it was our holy privilege to stand vigil over a woman we loved so dearly.
On Saturday night, just as we were thinking we would be spending a third night in the room, our favorite hospice nurse, Janet, stopped by. She had fallen in love with Vernie the instant she met her and was so very tender in her care of her. She was also the nurse who, 2 ½ days earlier, had predicted that she wouldn’t live another 24 hours. Janet said, “I guess Vernie just proved me wrong.”
After chatting with us for a few minutes, Janet said she needed to go. On her way to the door, she took a quick, last look at Vernie and stopped in her tracks. She said, “On second thought, I’m going to stay here with you. It’s getting close.”
After sixty hours of waiting, when the end came, it came quickly. The ragged breathing got slower and slower and slower until finally, the light of life slipped away from Vernie’s face.
We knew we’d never see this smile again.
As the nurse pronounced the time of death, Steve sat with his guitar by her bed and, through many tears, sang his mama home.
I truly believe that death really is as holy a moment as birth. The heavenly veil lifts in both cases. We deserve to be delivered into and out of God’s hands with dignity and love and you gave that to Vernie.
What a lovely way to leave Earth to go to heaven.
Prayers for you all…
I am very sorry to hear about Steve’s Mom. May the God of all peace be with you at this difficult time.
The loss is great on this side of the curtain. So thankful you were both there and nothing was left unsaid nor unsung. Sending big hugs to you all.
we are so very sorry for your loss…. the love that she had for her son was shining so brightly through these photos… praying for you all…. and rejoicing knowing she is with our precious Jesus …..
My thoughts and prayers are with you. As much as we miss our parents we know how thrilled they are to be in the presence of the Lord. We also sang my mother “home” and were with her from Wed night to Sunday night. We wouldn’t have had it any other way. How wonderful her and Ken are back together. Hugs
Dear Smithellaneous family,
Thank you for ALL the words of consolation and compassion you left this week about Vernie’s passing.
And as always, thanks to those of you who shared your own experiences and stories. Life is all about stories–the ones we live and the ones we tell.
Much love from our family to yours. –Steve and Becky
Steve, Becky, and Family
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this time and I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure your being there was a great comfort to Vernie until she was reunited with Ken in Heaven. Prayers for peace and comfort.
My deepest sympathy to all your family. I too was with my mother when she passed into the arms of Jesus. It’s been 21 years of missing her but I am comforted knowing that she knew I was there for her. I hope you are comforted by that too!
Being with someone you love when they pass is so incredibly hard but yet feels so right. I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing you all strength, comfort and God’s peace.
Thinking of you all
Sending you and your family my deepest sympathy.
Sending you all love and hugs and memories of a life well lived and loved. What a blessing she was to so many and what a gift Steve was able to give his mother – singing her home indeed.
sending love and hugs to you all.
Steve and Becky comfort and peace to you and the family. So very sorry for your loss of a wonderful Mother. Take great comfort of knowing you will see her again. (()) hugs to you all.
Your words have captured Vernie’s last days on earth so very beautifully. Sending love, hugs and prayers to you, Steve & all the Smith family.
Sending peace and love to you and your family. Such a beautiful post for a beloved lady and her family.
So sorry for the loss of your cherished mom. Such a privilege to be with her, singing to her and loving her as she slowly eased out of this world.
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers for your family, especially for Steve. Thank you for sharing the story of your sweet time with Vernie over the past week. I’m so glad you were there with her.
I’m thinking of Psalm 116:15, Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants. Precious indeed.
You will never regret the time you spent with Vernie as she passed. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you mourn her loss. We have a very similar photo to the one of Vernie smiling at Steve of my mother at age 96 smiling at our son who had just flown in from MI. I believe her words to him were, “Oh, Andy, isn’t this a pickle.” She died shortly after that. That photo is a treasure to us as I am sure the one of Vernie and Steve will be to you.
Loved the words written by Kaye Joyce, “Heaven is only sweeter now”.
Love to Steve, Becky, Nathan, Meagan, Sarah & Gage.
Gloria
So sorry to hear Vernie died. She did have the best smile. I have enjoyed reading about her all these years. The best wishes to you, Steve and all your family.
So very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the reunion she had with Ken. Glad you were able to be with her. Hospice nurses have hearts of gold!
When my mother’s mother was dying, all three of her children and all five of her grandchildren–most of whom lived out of state–traveled to her hometown to be with her. Some for just a few hours, some for the entire process, but we all made it there.
Nothing is better proof of a life well lived than a family who does whatever it takes to be there when it ends. I’m sorry for the loss you and your family are living through, but I hope you find comfort and joy in all of the love that has to be built in order to make the loss matter that much.
So sorry for your loss. When I saw Smithellaneous and “on Sat.” just knew you were going to tell us Vernie had gone home. Lord be with each of you in the days and months ahead. What precious pictures!
Mom says, she is glad Vernie is home. Me too.
And that Steve could sing to her, very special time.
Good you both could be with her those last days.
Ruth
My heart goes out to you all. Praying for peace and comfort. I feel like I knew her and your mom through your posts. Heaven is only sweeter now. Sending love and hugs.
So sorry for the loss of your beloved mother and grandmother. May her memory be a blessing.
Beautiful and sad, my prayers and thoughts are with you, Steve and your family. An amazing woman of faith she was, thanks for sharing her with us all.
It’s been 4 years since I held my mom as she took her final breath, and I didn’t realize until reading this that it’s still so raw. It truly is one of the hardest and yet most beautiful and sacred things, to be with the person who gave you your first breath as they take their final one. I’m praying for Steve and you and your entire family as you grieve the loss, and I rejoice with you as you KNOW where she is and that she is once again whole and perfect. Her job here is done, and it’s time for the really good part to begin! Love you so much!
Heartbreaking but beautiful. We can only hope to be as loved as Vernie when our time comes. Sending hugs to all of your family.
Love, such wondrous love!
The love you and Steve showed to Vernie as she made her transfer to heaven.
Vernie finally meeting her Lord and Savior, Jesus, the Author of love.
And two lovers, Ken and Vernie, reuniting for eternity.
Rejoicing she is Home, grieving your separation from her until heaven.
Love, Deb
Sending you a gentle hug. The love in your family is exceptional and I am certain Vernie felt surrounded by love.
So very sorry! Losing a mother is so very hard!
Steve and Becky, we are saddened to hear of Vernie’s passing for you all, but know that Ken and Vernie are together and praising God. You are all in our prayers.
I’m so sorry for the loss of Vernie but I know she felt all the love you & Steve had for her and that she was welcomed with open arms and a giant smile from her forever love, Ken as she walked into Heaven! I’m so glad you & Steve were able to be there with her! 💜
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I know she will be missed.
What a precious privilege to be there as her her soul took flight. I had the privilege of being by my mom and dad’s sides as they passed away. It is indeed a holy moment. My prayers are with you all in the days, weeks, and months to come. It’s the hard that we do in life. Blessings!
You and your family have been in my thoughts all week. I’m glad you were both able to be there when she left this earth. My Mom hung on for 9 days after being under Hospice care although she was not responsive for about 5 days. I wasn’t able to see her the last 7 days but at least my sister and niece were with her. Prayers for the days to come. 🙏
So sorry for your loss. What a privilege you both had to be there as she went to meet up with Ken in heaven. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family during this difficult time.
So very sorry for your sorrow and heartache. So hard to say goodbye to our loved ones. What a glorious day it will be when we are praising God hand in hand with our loved ones.
So very sorry for your loss. Love and prayers from West Virginia…
I have no words but am sending a BIG hug to both of you 🤗
I’m so sorry….I had the honor of being with my Mom at the end and through the years it has brought me much comfort….thinking of your family and praying for peace!
Sing unto the Lord with your whole heart… Psalm 104:33.
You are all in my prayers during this time. How wonderful that she was not alone and had you with her as she left this life. Hugs from Iowa!
Sorry for your loss. Prayers for your family. Even when expected, it is never easy.
What a loving testimony or honor Bless you two
I am so sorry for your loss. Thankful both of you were able to be with her at the end. Though she no longer spoke or responded, I am certain she knew both of you were there. Fly high Vernie!
Beautiful Becky. Those last hours are so precious. Glad you and Steve were able to stay with her. I know how much she enjoyed listening to Steve. I will miss her sweet loving comments and messages. Our love, thoughts, prayers and hugs continue to be with you.
Such a wonderful way for her to join Ken, even though I know it was hard! At least she had her family around her! So very sorry for your loss. All your friends, I’m sure, will miss seeing her smiling face on your blog! Prayers for your family!
I am so sorry for the loss of Steves mom. Thankful you were both with her when her time came. Hugs and prayers to you all.
Buff
Condolences to all. How wonderful for you to be at her side. Yes, a “holy privilege.” I wasn’t able to be at my mom’s side, but hope for the privilege of offering this comfort to my dad, when his time comes.
I only know Vernie and Ken through your blog, Becky. But I am rejoicing with you at the reunion they are having now. How glorious it must be!
So thankful that you and Steve got to be with her. It is a heart wrenching but beautiful time. I will miss her so very much here on earth but I know she and Ken are singing together in heaven and that makes me smile through the tears. Love and hugs to all of you.
I’m so sorry she’s gone from this Earth. What a wonderful comfort it must have been for her to have Steve and you at her side, although I’m sure that she always knew that the Lord was in the room with her as she prepared to move to the Heaven side of Heaven. OK, now I’ll go have a little cry for all of you, knowing how much you will miss her.
So sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.