I’ve been sitting here thinking forward a few days to our upcoming Christmas visit from Nathan, Meagan, and Noah; I’ve also been thinking backward to when we visited them over the summer before Noah was born.
We have so many fond and funny memories from those days spent together but the one memory that keeps coming to my mind today is sort of in a category by itself.
On one particular evening, Meagan had fixed us a delicious meal and after we’d finished eating, we were kicked back in our chairs talking when the conversation turned toward Sarah and college and her future in general. Knowing that Nathan and Meagan have made a lot of good choices during their growing up years and college years, I thought it would be interesting to ask them what wisdom or advice they might have to share with Sarah as she gets ready to leave the nest and find the flight plan of her own life.
Well, that question brought about some really insightful conversation. I sat back in my chair and listened with amazement (and a few quiet tears) as Nathan and Meagan took turns pouring love, advice, and wisdom into their little sister’s life. The look on her face was precious because she was so focused and intent, listening so carefully to each thing they had to say, giving their words the weight they deserved.
I was thankful that Sarah had such loving and wise mentors in her life and extra thankful that Noah (snoozing contentedly in Meagan’s womb) will have that same love and wisdom poured into his life as he grows up. And maybe when the day comes and he is preparing to leave the nest, Aunt Sarah will have the chance to pour it all back into him. Full circle. Family circle.
Which brings me to another memory.
Before Nathan was married, our family went to Wisconsin for a visit; we stayed several nights with my sister Debbie and her family. I remember falling asleep late one night on the pull out couch in the living room, drowsily listening to a conversation taking place between Nathan and his Aunt Debbie and Uncle Randy.
The subject of their conversation?
A certain girl Nathan was interested in named Meagan.
Nathan was asking for Randy and Debbie’s advice about Meagan and about marriage and life in general and they were responding with great affection and hard-won wisdom. My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was how thankful I was for the input of family, for the help of family, for the presence of family at the crucial junctures in our lives . . . and for their presence in our everyday lives as well.
And so for me it was even more of a full circle kind of feeling, sitting at the dinner table that night in Florida. I saw Sarah impacted by the words of her big brother and big sister, the same way that Nathan was impacted by the words of his aunt and uncle concerning the woman he eventually married, the woman who was sitting right next to him, passing on wisdom to Sarah.
When Steve and I were newlyweds, we didn’t have even half the wisdom that Nathan and Meagan have; we had to do some muddling and meandering before we really got our act together. After a few years (and some additional muddling and meandering) had passed, we began to talk about starting a family. My dream was to have four children–ideally, two boys and two girls. Unfortunately though, my body chose not to cooperate with that plan because after going through one miscarriage and two complicated and dangerous pregnancies, my doctor gave us orders to stop.
I remember so well the day that Steve was scheduled for the procedure that would ensure that no more Smith babies would be born. I’ll never forget standing together in that parking lot outside the clinic as we hugged and cried and said goodbye to our dream of having four Smith kids.
But you know what? Sometimes dreams get resurrected. Sometimes dreams come full circle.
For whatever reason, it never even occurred to me that day in the parking lot to look to the future when our two small children would grow up and get married. It never occurred to me that eventually we would have the family I dreamed of–two sons and two daughters.
Look at how blessed I am!
TWO daughters! (And my second son will arrive the day Sarah gets married.)
Meagan has fit into our family so beautifully since the very earliest days; she is a woman whom I love dearly and admire greatly. Since the day she and Nathan were engaged she has called me “Mom,” and I can’t begin to tell you how sweet those words are to my ears.
On the other side of the coin, Nathan also calls Meagan’s parents Mom and Dad; they have lovingly and wholeheartedly welcomed him as a son into the Hawley family, into yet another family circle.
As I’ve written before, Nathan and Meagan were in each others’ lives long before they ever started dating. Here they are, a year or so after meeting for the first time.
Friendships continued to grow—not just between Nathan and Meagan but between Sarah and Meagan, as well.
Sarah and Meagan have always gotten along famously . . .
with Meagan always being very generous to share advice on hair, make up, fashion tips . . . and boys!
As the years passed, and Sarah has grown up more, their friendship has continued to blossom.
Sarah is so thankful to finally have a big sister.
Of course, Sarah has been blessed with a big brother ever since she can remember.
The three Smith kids are all grown up now; Sarah is eighteen and Nathan and Meagan are parents.Time has passed and so many memories have been made.
In the midst of all the memories I am so thankful that this family circle . . .
has turned into this family circle.
Steve and I are grateful for another daughter and a new grandson; we are grateful for the love and wisdom that continues to pass from generation to generation; we are grateful for new seasons, new joys, and new memories waiting to be made.
We are grateful for the circle that is our family.
What a beautiful post Becky, so full of love, optimism and wisdom as usual…..sometimes things don’t always turn out as we planned or dreamed of, but it sure sounds like you got what you were hoping for in the long run!!!! 2 daughters, one son and one future son!!! I am so happy for all of you, your family truly inspires me….
Dale,
No, things don’t always (or maybe I should say usually) don’t turn out the way we plan. But sometimes the way they turn out is even better! Thanks for your encouraging words.
WONDERFUL article AND photos! Sarah, I have an Alzheimer’s T-Shirt just like yours! Merry Christmas to all! (BTW – I recently discovered that G-Mail had taken the liberty of putting your posts into a special tab that I didn’t know about. Good grief.) 😐
Fred,
I was just thinking about you and Ethel the other day and wondering if you all were okay. Glad to see you reappear! How rude of G-mail to organize your email without telling you! 🙂
Meagan is lucky to have been welcomed so wholeheartedly into the clan!
Jennifer,
She has been a great blessing to our family and to me personally!
That is beautiful. I have been so busy with busi-ness and business that I needed to read this and stop and reflect and enjoy the real “business” of life and family. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy your time together with your grandson at YOUR house. Nothing more special than that occurrence. Sarah is a very lucky young lady. She is guided by some of the best men I have ever come to “know” and now a wonderful big sister – not to mention her mama! Have fun, Becky. Noah will fill your house to the brim and beyond with love, laughter and joy.
Mary,
Yes, I am really looking forward to having the family under my own roof and rocking Noah in my own chair, welcoming him into the family circle that he will be a part of for the rest of his life! And you’re right– in the busyness and business of life, it’s wonderful to stop for a moment and think about life and family and all that is important.
How Perfect and Precious! Love that our Heavenly Father saw fit to make us all family together! 🙂
LOL. That comment isn’t anonymous. Sheri.
Glad you got transformed from “Anonymous” to “Sheri!” 🙂
I, too, am grateful for the Smith/Hawley clan. Thanks to you and Frank for raising such a wonderful daughter!
I am feeling so grateful this season also. I have been making DVD’s of home movies we made when our 2 kids were young and I am remembering what a good big brother my son was to his little sister and how much she adored him then and still does. I knew he was good to her but so fun to see it in the film. And he is still the best big brother a girl could have, along with Nathan of course! 🙂 We wanted 6 children, and like you I had 2 dangerous pregnancies and was told that 2 should be all. I was grateful, as I was not even sure I would get the 2nd one and we were blessed. Now that my son has a woman in his life our family is growing too and to see my daughter loved by both of them and her loving them back, I see my circle growing and am counting my blessings. Merry Christmas to your growing family.
Kelly,
I love watching those old home movies because it’s easy to forget the particulars of the relationships our families share. We know our kids love each other but it’s especially fun to look back at them in their younger years, talking, laughing and just hanging out. Such sweet, sweet memories! Merry Christmas to you and your sweet family–you are truly blessed!
Love it!! The pictures and stories are both beautiful!! I hope that you all have a fabulous Christmas !! Can’t wait to see pictures of Noah… 🙂 and of course, the rest of the family too!!
Tiffany,
Poor little Noah is going to get tired of a camera stuck in his face but I guess he’d better just get used to it, right? 🙂 My goal this Christmas is also to hand the camera off to other people and get in a few pictures, too. Hope you and your wonderful family have a splendid Christmas!
You have one amazing family. I know there has been ups and downs, but the love you all have for each other is so amazing to see. How wonderful it is that you are so involved in your children’s lives. How your children stay so connected to you. I don’t have this with my own parents, but I have two little girls and I really hope to stay very connected with them no matter how old they get. You are a mentor to me on how to be a good parent and to build that lasting, trusting and loving relationship with my children. I’m not quite ready for them to grow up yet but when they do I hope the relationship we have is like the relationship your family has. Its simply beautiful to see.
To Sarah – College. Wow! You will make the right decision. You have wonderful people that have given you amazing advice and you surround yourself with amazing friends and of course your wonderful family. If the right college is close enough I think my advice to you is to be within driving distance or a short flight of your family. You will need your home and them after finals week! Study abroad if you can. You would love seeing places around the world and you would take in the whole experience and really cherish it. Enjoy it. The college years will go to fast, but enjoy it as much as you can. Minus the finals maybe! Its a very special period in your life.
Rachel,
How sweet of you to take the time to write such a long and well thought out comment. You and I are on the same page as far as hoping Sarah will choose a college sort of close to home; so far, that’s the direction she seems to be heading (without any undue influence from me) so we’ll see what happens. And yes, I think she would love traveling abroad, the way Nathan did in college. Of course, England would be her first choice!
I am honored by your words that you feel I am a mentor to you; I hardly know what to say except–thank you! It sounds like you are doing an excellent job raising your two girls, learning from what you didn’t like about your relationship with your parents and choosing to do things differently with your own kids. They will grow up so fast–enjoy this wonderful season with them and collect lots of happy memories. Merry Christmas!