I mentioned yesterday that we would have a wedding video up today but I’m afraid that plan has been short circuited by a river of tears caused by a certain white doggy of ours.
The short version is that we had to take him to the vet yesterday because he was walking strangely and was in a lot of pain. And instead of barking, he just emitted pitiful little squeaks, which broke my mama heart right in two.
After an exam and x-ray we were told he has a problem with two vertebrae being too close together in his spine; the spine issue seems to be causing some paralysis in his back end and a whole lot of pain everywhere else. (The x-ray also revealed that he still has the two huge kidney stones in one kidney.)
He isn’t able to move his bowels because that requires him to arch the back and arching his back is excruciating. So that’s not a good thing.
The vet didn’t want to put Snowy on the major pain-killer and steroid (which is the normal course of treatment) because those meds do harm to the liver and Snowy already has serious liver issues. But after giving him the mild stuff last night, I woke up this morning to a doggie who was suffering greatly; I called the vet again and she decided to go ahead and give Snowy the heavy-duty steroid and pain med after all. She said that at this point, she just wants to get him out of pain and since the only other option is to put him in the hospital under total sedation, we are going to give this a try.
I have held Snowy and cried, and Sarah and I have sobbed together with him cradled between us. Steve and Sarah and I also sat down after lunch today and had the difficult discussion about whether or not the time has come to say goodbye. Believe me when I say that our discussion was accompanied by many, many tears.
However, the vet advised us to not make a final decision today; she wants to see how Snowy does on these stronger meds and will check back in tomorrow to see how he is then. Of course, none of these measures are curative; the issue in his back is not going to be fixed without major surgery, which we are not willing to do on an almost 13 year old dog. However, the vet has occasionally seen dogs that are able to function for additional months/years if their body has a chance to take a break from the self perpetuating pain/muscle tension cycle.
And so these are sad times in the Smith house tonight. I know that in the past, Snowy has surprised and amazed as all by the way he has come back from the brink of all sorts of medical misadventures. But this one is really, really bad.
I have cried more today than I have cried in the entire last year; it just hurts my mama heart to look at this little fur baby of mine and see the spark gone from his personality. He looks confused and bewildered and tired.
The hardest part of today was when I was sitting with him in our writing chair where I always compose my blog posts and he always tucks in right beside me. (Here is an old picture of him and Steve in the aforementioned chair.)
He was trying to rest but I could feel the tremors of pain going constantly through his body. (This was before we got the heavier meds going.) I gently eased up out of the chair to get something and when I did I must have bumped him a little because he let out a terrible cry that scared Sarah and me to death.
He wanted to get down so I gently set him on the floor and and he immediately struggled his way through our bedroom into the darkness of our master bathroom. When we followed him in there, he was standing quietly with his back to the door, facing the window, just staring and trembling.
I remembered reading that animals don’t like their humans to see them suffer and all I could think of was that he had gone in there to protect Sarah and I from his pain. And that thought just did us in altogether; Sarah and I hugged each other and cried and cried.
I took these pictures of him last night; his tail hanging down gives you a little idea of how he’s feeling—not good at all.
We will check in with the vet tomorrow and see where we’re at; none of us want him to go through needless suffering and that may require a hard choice.
But for now, I like to think of him the way he was in these pictures.
It helps my heart. A little.
Becky – don’t let the age scare you from surgery. My 13year old golden retreiver had a pulminary carcinoma removed along with a few lung lobes back in February and he rebounded like a puppy. That was very invasive surgery as they shaved his entire right side, had to use tools to upen up the ribs, required 5 hours of anesthesia and he was in a specialy hospital for 3 days recovering but he did beautifully!!! He is now my 1 year old dachshunds favorite playmate. Snowy has a lot of spunk and if there is a surgery that can fix this I bet he would recover like a champ. Good luck. It is really hard to make a choice like this. Especially when you know their spirit is stil alive and kicking.
Oh Smith family, I am so saddened reading your post. Sat here with tears as I read because I know how hard it is to come to that painful decision. I had to do that just 2 years ago with my Lab/collie. I still miss him so. Hopefully you will get clear direction in what to do. Wendy
So sorry, Smith Family. He looks like he is in pain and not the Snowy we are used to seeing. Will be praying for peace and comfort for you and for ease of pain for Snowy. God be with you as you make decisions in the days ahead. Love to all.
Cute puppy
Snowy, you hang in there little buddy, I will be praying for you and your family.
Hoping and praying for a quick recivery for Snowy! We had to say goodbye to our kitty, Niblet in December who was almost 14, so I know the pain that even thinking about having to make that decision yields! Pets are truly part of the family, and I hope that the Smith family is able to hang onto the cutest little white furball for a good while longer!
Becky, Sarah and Steve and Nathan( he no longer lives there I know but he grew up with Snowy too) I am so sorry that you are faced with such a horrible decision. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry about Snowy. I do hope he pulls through … those little canines just steal our heart so much. Prayers for all of you.
It hard to see a loved one in pain.
My thoughts are with you all. Many, many, many hugs! I truly hope Snowy amazes us all once again!!xx
It was a shock to wake up to this post. I am so sorry to read about how Snowy is doing. I am thinking of you all and Snowy.
I am so sad to read about Snowy’s current condition. 🙁 Praying for Snowy and the rest of the Smith family! HUGS!
Precious Snowy!!!! So sad to hear he isn’t doing well 🙁
Thinking of you all and for what you are going through. Dear little fellow he is!!
I’m praying hard for Snowy and his family. We’ve had to put down two of our toy poodles, about 4 years and 6 years ago, a Mom and son, each 17 years old when they went to Heaven. The mom, Fanci, had mammary cancer and the son, Buddy, had a degenerative spinal disease, very painful. I still cry for them. Now we have two Yorkies, Molly and Rowf, not related. I’m hoping they’ll outlive me. I’m 72, so maybe I have a chance. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers, all of you, and anxiously watching to see what happens. I love you Snowy. Hugs and Blessings!
Judy
Thinking and praying for all.
I know this is a very difficult decision. We had to say good bye to our Cassie Girl just a month ago. It still rips my heart out and we will go through a grieving period again when her “boy” returns home from his summer internship in two weeks. He knows she is gone, but he has not been home since May. I just keep telling myself that she was the equivalent of a 91 year old lady. She had lived a very good life and was queen of our house. God gives us our wonderful animal friends to keep us company and for us to nurture. It is very difficult to say “so long”. I do not envy your decisions that will need to be made. Hugs to your family and to Snowy.
Will be thinking of you guys during this rough moment. Maybe He can make it long enough so Nathan can come say good bye too.
Hugs to you all! I know, from experience, how difficult it is to have to make such a difficult decision and will be praying for you guys.
Praying for you and your family and of course, Snowy.
Snowy: You’ve sprung back before, Big Guy. I know you can again. You are a great and wonderful guard dog, companion, and friend. We are all in your little canine corner Snowy. Get well soon, buddy.
my heart breaks as i read this. Whatever your decision, it will be what is best for Snowy because you all love him dearly and do not want to see him suffer. I hope he can pull out of this and spend some more precious time with all of you.
hugs,
Haley
I am so sorry you are going through this. We had to put our family dog to sleep suddenly a year ago because he was in so much pain. My husband, myself and all my kids were heartbroken but we know we did the right thing because we did not want our “Buddy” to be in so much pain.
Like Snowy, he found himself a place to hide but he did this before we recognized that he was so sick. He had slowed down and we just chalked it up to age. Realized later that he was protecting his family.
Buddy was with us through kids growing up, good times and heart aches. A year later, I still miss his loyalty, compassion and friendship. Only a dog owner can truly understand……
Tough times for your family and again, so sorry you are having to go through this.
Oh Becky, my heart is just breaking for you all. I know what it’s like to be at the brink of making that decision. I sure hope that he’ll bounce back once again and will be feeling better in the morning. It’s so hard to see them hurting. Prayers for all of you, and thank you for taking such great care of that precious little guy. He knows he’s loved.
Oh, my heart breaks for you all. Prayers up.
Praying the stronger meds work for Snowy and keep him pain free for a while longer so you can make more memories together. Miracles happen (as you well know). But if this is Snowy’s time to pass on I know you will do what has to be done….either way Snowy knows he is a well loved little dog… Prayers for all of you…
no words… just love for all of you and sweet Snowy.
Tears here too. Hugs. I hope he gets better, I hope things work out. More tears.
difficult times. time to let your wonderful dog live without pain. Hardest decision to make, but the kindest for your faithful canine companion.
I am so sorry Becky, keep us posted. Praying for Snowy.
sending our love and prayers.
love deb and the guys
Keeping all of you in my prayers that you are able to face doing what may be best for Snowy. The more we love them, the more it hurts to lose a pet. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Prayers for another miracle for Snowy.
I pushed send before I was done. I had to put my kitty to sleep awhile back, I know its a hard hard thing and even tho she was not the friendlyest of cats I still miss her.
I hope snowy has a come back again. hugs for all of you
I am so sorry. I know what ever you have to do it will be a hard and painful thing.
Keeping you and little Snowy in my thoughts. You love him, I have no doubt you’ll always do what is best for him. Hugs. <3
Oh Becky, I am crying here with you. Please give Snowy the hugest kiss from me, also a kiss and a hug for both you and Sarah – all the way from Sydney so hope you can feel it. xxxxxx
Oh Becky, I am so sad and so sorry to read that Snowy is suffering so. I pray that he recovers but I also pray for the hearts of all of you who love him so much as you may have difficult choices to make. He is such a wonderful little guy and it breaks our hearts too. Hugs to you all from here in Nebraska.
This breaks my heart… our little doggies are just so innocent and all they do is love us.. Pryaing for you all and for sweet little Snowy.
Oh, I can just feel his pain in the picture where he is looking down!! I sure hope he can pull another Super Snowy Smith recovery out of that cute little body of his!!
I’m so sorry Smith Family. Losing a pet who is apart of your family is very difficult. I pray GOD gives you strength through these days. Praying Snowy will be healed. Love you guys!
Poor Snowy & even sadder for all of you. I know you will do whatever is best for Snowy but it won’t be easy. Give him a kiss for me.
Oh, Becky, through tears I am writing this to you. There is a time, and one of the most difficult times, to listen to your own heart and soul and listen to the “signs” your pet is giving you and not the vet. You know Snowy best of all, Snowy knows what is best for him, and let HIM guide you through this – by HIM I mean Snowy and the God above that led Snowy to you in the first place. If there is really no permanent fix, keeping Snowy here is not fair to a doggie that has done more for a family than any other I have known. When it was time to let go of our first Greyhound, Millie, she made it perfectly clear (through some subtle signs – but clear nonetheless) that she was ready to go, we would be fine, she had things to do in Heaven. Listen to Snowy, listen to the reason in your heart and mind about this wonderful creature of God and do what you know is the best but is the hardest to bring yourself to do. God love all of you and Snowy and all the Smithes, May God Go With You! I am so very sorry.
Poor Snowy. I’m so sorry – its so hard to see our pets suffer. I hope he has another miraculous Snowy comeback.