Two months ago, in a small church in Duck, NC, a man was murdered.
The murderer was homeless. So was the man he killed.
The two of them had joined about a dozen other homeless guests at the church for dinner and lodging as part of Room In The Inn. (This is a national outreach that Outer Banks churches participate in to provide housing and meals for the homeless during the winter months. Churches sign up for two weeks per season.)
Duck United Methodist just happened to be the host church when this troubled guest got angry at the other guest and stabbed him with a knife he had taken from the kitchen. He did it so quietly and quickly that no one noticed. The 61-year old victim left the line and locked himself in the bathroom. He eventually bled to death.
Who would blame Duck Methodist church if they decided not to finish out their assigned week of hosting? Their volunteers had been traumatized. Accompanied by their conversations and the sound of bacon sizzling, a man had died.
There is no easy way to get over that.
All of us who have participated in this program were saddened by this news; we were also concerned about the future of the outreach. Since our church was on the schedule to act as hosts, we were especially eager to get the word concerning what would happen.
Who was going to volunteer to hang out with a group of people that had just had a murderer in their midst? Would Duck Methodist shut it down? Would other churches refuse to host the program any more, in an effort to protect their congregations? Would this one man rob countless members of the homeless community hot meals and warm beds on cold nights?
The next morning, we read the decision in the news stated in words I will never forget. In essence the statement said, “In an act of courage and compassion, Duck United Methodist has decided to continue their involvement in the program and will open their doors to the homeless for the rest of their assigned week.”
Courage and compassion.
Each of those words is so strong and inspiring on its own.
But when the two words are put together? They become a thing of beauty.
And now this week, the homeless are with us, at our church. The same people who have so recently had one of their members murdered have shown up on our doorstep to receive our love in the form of food, a shower, a bed, a prayer.
Sarah and I cooked for them Monday night and Steve was one of two volunteers who spent the night. As Sarah and I sat and ate with the three women guests I was, as always, amazed by their stories, inspired by their pluck, and grateful for the chance to serve fellow human beings whose lives have seen more difficulties than I could possibly imagine.
As soon as the guests are dropped off at a particular church, they all sign in. (All guests are taken to a screening facility first; no one who is drunk or high is allowed to get on the van to ride to the host church.)
There is a container nearby with any health and beauty items.
We host the guests in our Youth House where we installed showers a couple years ago, specifically for this ministry.
A local company donates its services to provided fresh towels, washcloths and sheets for each hosting church. Kudos to Whitecap Linen!
The women are together in the second room.
Seeing their small collections of belongings . . .
brought tears to my eyes.
I thought of my soft bed, my loving husband, my sweet doggie companion.
I thought of my closet full of clothes, my kitchen cupboards, my cup for tea, my shelves of books, my leather recliner, my box of oatmeal, my private shower, my washer and dryer, my nicely decorated living room, my front porch swing, my back yard.
I thought of a lot of things.
But mostly I thought that I have so much. They have so little.
And I thought that I am so thankful for a small church in North Carolina that didn’t let violence dilute their courage; they didn’t allow murder to kill their compassion. They continued to give and by doing that, they ensured that the people who are the most needy will continue to receive help.
Because what is the use of having, unless you also have the chance to give.
We join Duck Methodist church in giving with courage. With compassion. And joy.
I can see you on my cell phone in Hillsboro, WI!
Sheri,
Yay for a Wisconsin visitor!
I got it here in Roanoke Rapids. Love to all.
Hooray, you are back in Edmonton, Alberta Canada!! So glad you are back.
Jenna, nice to be missed!
Thanks, Ann!
Yay! Your back! Missed ya!
Look! There’s a Smithellaneous again!!
Welcome back 🙂
Hooray! I’m so very happy.
Courage and compassion, indeed! I’m not sure there’s anything I can add to that. (And for once in my life, I’m not even going to try.)
Jan,
Yeah, those two words pretty much say it all, don’t they?
You know this story touches me so much. I’m glad the church decided to finish the week, as that would have been hard. Yet, they let courage and compassion rule. Our guests at Paw Creek (Charlotte) have some amazing stories and so many of them have a simple, childlike faith. They often teach us and give us more than we give them!
Karen,
How true what you said about our guests giving us more than we give them. I know Paw Creek has been doing this ministry for years–thank you!
(Note to readers: Paw Creek Presbyterian is where Steve’s parents go to church. It’s also where we got married.)
There’s a faith-based organization here in Fairbanks called the ‘Fairbanks Rescue Mission’ which runs several different outreach programs including addiction recovery, emergency shelter for the homeless, and a women’s shelter for abused women and their children. I went there for the first time a couple of weeks ago, to drop off donations, and as I was waiting for a staff person I watched the various residents coming and going.
It was a stark reminder that I am very, very lucky, and that too often I take that for granted. Helping others is something I do not take enough time to do, and I struggle to figure out how to do more. Donating money is important, but you do have to draw a line somewhere! And it seems odd to volunteer at a church or faith-based mission when I don’t share the organization’s beliefs… maybe that wouldn’t matter to them, but somehow it just seems… inappropriate, I guess. At least to me.
I recently found and am considering volunteering at a program that is more in line with my own beliefs (a literacy program, actually, relating back to the ‘Books and Babies’ post!) where I would help illiterate adults learn to read. I can’t imagine a life where I couldn’t sit down and read a book, or even just read a job application so that I could apply for employment. But then I worry that maybe that’s a selfish volunteerism plan… if you find personal value in what you’re volunteering to do, does that mean you’re not doing it for the right reasons?
Kristina,
As for our Room in the Inn involvement, we would be more than happy to have someone who didn’t share our faith stop in and volunteer. I guess that’s what I love about volunteering; it’s a time when our differences become small and our mutual desire to help others become large.
The literacy program sounds like a perfect fit for you. I taught both my kids to read in home school and there are few joys any greater than the knowledge that someone can read a book because of what you did.
Your question “If you find personal value in what you’re volunteering to do, does that mean you’re not doing it for the right reasons?” is actually a very good one and reveals a mind and heart that likes to thoroughly think through motives and actions. I admire that!
My answer can be summed up in one of my favorite quotes: “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” ― Frederick Buechner
There’s no extra merit in volunteering to do something that makes you miserable. Joyful, fulfilled volunteers are the best volunteers out there. Keep us in touch with how it goes!
Thanks, Becky… I love the ‘deep gladness and deep hunger meeting’ concept. And, really, I think I’d be a better volunteer if I was doing something about which I feel strongly. I’m leaving next week for a three-week trip… I’ll give it some more thought, but I think I’ll sign up as soon as I return.
Thanks for the input!
Kristina,
Enjoy your trip. I know you will find just the right place to plug in your heart and your talents when you get home.
Becky what a touching story. I love your caring heart for people in need and how you church really is willing to do the hard work needed to be Jesus’ hands and feet. I want to do this more in my life. Maybe one day you could blog about ways to live like this?
I’ve never heard of churches providing shelter beds, what a great idea. We have some official government run shelters in our city but there is a large homeless population here, and not enough beds per person. Churches helping would be a great solution.
The saddest thing is there are families with children who live homeless in our river valley or in transient housing. My own daughter spent her first six years living like this (until she went into foster care and then later came to us) and my heart hurts to think of other children homeless, especially in the extreme climate I live in. (Incredibly, many people here sleep outside all year long. Once or twice over the years during the most extreme cold snaps (weeks on end at minus -35 to 40) the city has opened up the subway stations for people to sleep in but that is rare. )
A few days ago I noted a homeless man in my back lane picking through the garbages looking for bottles (to trade for cash at the bottle depot). I approached him and told him we had several bags of pop bottles, cans and empty milk cartons in my garage (we save them up to give to the youth group or charitable bottle drive fundraisers or for a missionary friend in Brazil etc).
I offered him some fruit too and at first I was feeling all good about myself for doing something to help a “homeless man.” But then I realized that by doing so I was creating a status boundary that denied his humanity and saw his homelessness instead of just seeing a man.
In a flash i realized that there was no difference between the two of us- we are both humans who face challenges, albeit in different way. I had not seen his humanity, but his socioeconomic status of homeless. I had seen his challenges instead of him, which is especially ironic given I have disabilities and get upset when I feel people see my disabilities before seeing me.
I asked the man his name (Earl) and am praying for him. I’m sure he has no idea how our brief encounter this week has reshaped my thinking.
One final comment: what an adorable town name (Duck). I must add it to my travel bucket list!
Great and inspiring post Becky! Thanks 🙂
Great story, Jenna… I also live in an extreme cold climate, and have often similarly wondered how on earth the homeless people here make it through the winters. Your post made me consider that I, too, often see only their hardships and do not acknowledge the actual human being who is living those hardships.
And I love your phrase, “do the hard work needed to be Jesus’ hands and feet.” As a non-religious person, I am often bothered by the hypocrisy I so often see in people who claim to be devout. Faith in God aside, however, the person described in the man who was Jesus is an amazing example to follow.
Kristina;
I like how you worded it about acknowledging “the actual human being who is living those hardships.” I think that is what deep down is at the heart of what we all yearn for. For our humanity to be seen well before our challenges.
I’m a Christian and also agree with you about the hypocricsy- it bothers me deeply to see people claim to be devout and yet live the opposite. It can cause a tremendous amount of damage to the person on the recieving end of the hypocrisy. I used to be someone very concerned with my appearances, and one of the hardest and yet best lessons I’ve learned over the years is authenticity, openness, and genuinity. I’ve also been on the recieving end of hypocrisy that has hurt me deeply. My goal is to try to treat others with empathy instead of judgement whenever I can.
There is so much hurt in the world- and it seems somehow even worse when it is a person claiming to be a Christian who is perpetrating hurt. From my perspective, I think true Christianity boils down to just two concepts: loving God and loving others. There’s a statement attributed to Jesus in the Bible that I especially love: ” By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
I enjoyed this conversation Kristina. Have a nice night! 🙂
Kristina and Jenna,
Wow. I can’t think of a whole lot to add to this conversation between such compassionate, intelligent, articulate people.
You two “get it.” Despite your differences in belief, you agree on what is the most important when it comes to serving the less fortunate–seeing them as “the actual human beings who are living those hardships.”
Jenna, I loved that you asked Earl his name. What a great way to let him know your concern for him as a person and not just as a nameless, homeless face.
Thanks to both of you, Jenna and Kristina, for a thoughtful, eye-opening conversation. You two always add so much value to the conversations here at Smithellaneous.
we had a similar incident in st. louis several years ago. Carol, the beloved secretary at Christ Church Cathedral, was killed by a homeless man. They now call the breakfast they serve “Miss Carol’s Breakfast”. so, often homeless folks suffer with mental illness, too…. so, very, very sad.
It is amazing how many outreach programs are supported by your NC neighboring churches.
Mrs. Pam,
I love how Christ Church Cathedral turned such a horrible tragedy in something so beautiful as they serve breakfast to the homeless. I can only imagine that as the eggs are scrambled, a certain beloved church secretary is smiling in heaven.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What a blessing each of you are – thank you to each of the volunteers for giving of yourselves and sharing the love of Jesus.
Sharyn,
Yes, our volunteers are so amazing, serving with real joy and real love.
Where do these local homeless folks go, Becky, for most of the week? My respect to Steve, you and the others who are making the holidays a bit warmer, happier, and festive to those with no home.
Catherine,
Some of the homeless have jobs; others may go to to the local church/community center that acts as the intake center. We serve them breakfast before the van comes and picks them up and also send a sack lunch along with each of them.
With courage and compassion, you and the others are doing just as Jesus would want you to do. What a valuable ministry that can make such a huge difference in these people’s lives. Blessings!
LeeAnne,
Yes, it’s amazing how the smallest things can make the biggest difference to those who have almost nothing.
The love of God shows in the actions of this ministry. What a blessing for those in need and for the churches involved.
Ann,
Yes, it is all about God’s love, isn’t it? If a church can’t show love, it might as well shut its doors.
Would love permission to share. We are working through a small group focus at my church about how to change the perspective of “church” to our society. This…this is church.
Janet,
Would love for you to share. And you’re exactly right. This IS church!
What strikes me about this post is that not only did you write about a very difficult event with your usual eloquence and articulateness, but then you put down your pen (or closed your computer lid!), went out and lived what you had just written about. That’s the best kind of writing and living.
I am so proud of and inspired by the people of Duck Methodist, Manteo Assembly, and all who serve in “Room at the Inn” with such courage and compassion. What a fine example for the rest of us to follow.
Love, Deb
Debbie,
I’m proud of our congregation but especially proud of those folks at Duck Methodist. To endure such a trauma and pick up the ministry again the very next day was amazing.
I read this wonderful description of love and compassion under all circumstances just after hearing from a dear friend that her daughter’s soon to be ex husband had killed himself last night. With so much sadness and hatred in the world, it was good to read about your church’s commitment to those of us for whom the world is not a happy place.
Liz,
You’re right. The world really is not a very happy place for so many people; I’m so sorry to hear about the situation with your friend’s daughter’s family. Heartbreaking.
I just read a quote this morning by Maya Angelou that said, “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” So many people with clouds. So many of us have rainbows to share.