“I am a small town girl; I will never, ever live in a big city.”
That has been one of my oft-repeated lines throughout my whole life. And yet, in just six weeks, this small-town girl is (happily) headed off to live in a big city. How on earth did that happen?
Since the beginning of this year, Steve and I knew that his retirement would be coming sooner rather than later. We started to think about what life would look like after retirement–the biggest question being where we would live.
Of course, moving to Florida to be near the kids and grandkids was an option that pulled strongly at our hearts. But we were reluctant to leave behind a state we have loved for over forty-five years–a state with four seasons and less extreme heat and humidity to keep my lungs happy.
There was the option of staying put in Manteo, but usually, when a pastor retires from a church, he moves away, just to make it easier for a congregation to bond and connect with the new pastor. I know we could have made it work but it wouldn’t have been ideal.
And then, shortly after Vernie’s funeral, Steve and I were sitting at the kitchen table in the Charlotte house. Steve was missing his mom so much and got quite emotional as he told me how much he loved walking through the house and seeing precious memories everywhere he looked.
I remember thinking, “Oh dear. I do hope he is not leading up to saying, “So would you ever consider living here?” At that point, my answer would have been a resounding no. (Refer to “big city” paragraph above.)
Apart from the big city-ness of Ken and Vernie’s home, it also wouldn’t have been my first choice because the floor plan is more chopped up and the bedrooms and closets are much smaller than in our current home. I am automatically drawn to more open floor plans because of fifteen years of cramped, full-time RV living. I figured if we were going to spend money buying a house we should buy one that we liked right off the bat.
Also, we don’t know anyone in Charlotte, apart from Steve’s brothers and a couple of his High School/college friends from way back. Why would I ever want to move to a big city, to a house I didn’t love, to a place where we had no friends?
So there were several strikes against the house, right off the bat.
But then something happened.
As all of the family got together at the house in the days surrounding Vernie’s funeral. I watched Noah and Madison ride the old red metal car down the same driveway that their great-grandpa, their grandpa, their dad, and their great-uncles did.
I saw Madison throw clothing down the first floor-to-basement laundry chute that her Dad and her Aunt Sarah were so fascinated with when they were children.
I saw all the kids run down to the big backyard to the tree-lined creek and have a grand time.
I watched Meagan walk slowly up and down the grassy area by the creek for half an hour telling me later, “I felt such wonderful peace while I was down there.”
Here are a certain brother and sister enjoying their own version of peace.
I thought of new generations of Smiths setting the table in the dining room the way these two have been doing since they were small children.
And then I looked twenty years down the road when we would welcome great-grandchildren to the house–the same house where their great-great-grandparents had once lived.
And it hit me that after years and years of moving (Steve’s dad in the military; mine in the ministry), we would actually have the opportunity to move to a place that felt like coming home.
Steve came to that house with his family when he was eighteen; I first walked in the door when I was seventeen. Our babies were brought there within days of their births.
And as for the city itself, my family stayed here for a few months after we moved to North Carolina in the late 1970s. I met Steve here, we dated and got married here. Steve’s parents are buried here. Steve went to college here and played in bands here. So although Charlotte is an aforementioned dreaded big city, it holds many happy memories.
After all the family members had returned home following Vernie’s funeral. Steve and I started broaching the subject with each other . . . would we really consider living in that house?
And ever so gradually, I started to have a change of heart; I actually started to get excited about the idea.
But there was just one small drawback.
When Vernie passed, Steve and his brothers had talked about whether they would put the house on the market or if one of them would buy out the other two brothers. Jeff and Steve both said they didn’t want it. Dana said he would give it some thought but wasn’t sure what he wanted to do.
Bonus photo of the brothers back in the day.
Well. Just about the same time that Dana decided he was going to buy the house and use it as a rental, Steve and I decided that we were really excited about moving there.
Steve took a deep breath and called Dana, recognizing the fact that he had dibs on the house since he had spoken up first. But Steve told him that if he should happen to change his mind, to let us know because we would love to retire there. Dana said he would think about it and be back in touch in a couple of days.
It was a long two days, waiting and wondering about how our future would pan out, especially since we really didn’t have a Plan B. Finally Dana called back and said, “I wasn’t all that excited about renting it anyway. You guys can buy it.”
Whew. Big rejoicing!
It was great fun telling our kids; they were over the moon. All four of our kids have traveled and/or moved a lot so they all loved the idea of a place that represents roots. Nathan and Sarah were actually happy and surprised because they’d listened to my “small town/big city” speech since they were kids and were amazed I was willing to make the change.
So how will I enjoy living in a big city?
The blue dot is our general location.
Well, I’m looking at all the good aspects of it. Thankfully, the house is in the suburbs and we can get to a grocery store, Walmart, restaurants, Goodwill, CVS, etc without ever going on any large, congested highways. There are quaint small towns within 15-20 minutes that I can putter in, and being much closer to the mountains will provide some stunning country drives.
Also, Sarah and Gage will be living here, along with Gage’s three brothers so that’s a happy happenstance.
We will be twenty minutes from an airport instead of two hours and we are also four hours closer to Nathan and Meagan so we can make a road trip in one day, instead of stretching it out over two.
The Outer Banks is experiencing a medical crisis right now with a dearth of doctors and medical care so Steve and I are relieved to be in a place with readily available doctors. And we are even excited about doing some cultural things, like seeing plays, concerts, museums, etc. It was always a 2-hour drive to do anything like that in Manteo.
And as for the cut-up floor plan?
Well, we got some advice from some knowledgeable folks who recommended taking out two smaller walls to increase the feeling of openness. We will also have the whole house painted and install new flooring which will freshen the place up and give it a feeling of cohesiveness. My closet will still be a third of the size of my current one but that will just teach me to live minimally, which is always a good thing.
We are actually in Charlotte right now; we rented a U-Haul and brought our first big load of stuff yesterday.
It’s a little complicated because we can’t put anything away because the house is not cleaned out yet and we don’t want to add any more stuff for the flooring people to move. So for now, we are putting all of our belongings in the garage.
I am a person who thrives on order and organization so I am gearing myself up for the next couple of months when chaos will reign supreme. But it will be happy chaos, joyful chaos, chaos with a purpose.
And that purpose is to continue the Smith Legacy, providing a place for the next generation(s) to come. We know that Ken and Vernie will be smiling down at us as the newest Smiths continue to carry on the traditions of all the Smiths gone before.
What about you?
Has your summer been chaotic, calm, busy or all of the above?
What is one thing that stands out from the summer that you’d love to share with all of the rest of us? Stories are always fun!
Oh my gosh! I was wondering about the house when Vernie passed and I was hoping y’all would move into it! What a fun and exciting time for all of you to be able to continue to make beautiful memories there!
Liz,
Well, you wondered correctly! 🙂
We are definitely excited about a new generation of memories.
Whew.. what alot to deal with!
I like that you always have a thankful spirit–whatever you may find going on around you in life. Ruth
Ruth,
Well, I get my thankfulness from mom–the Queen of Thankfulness! 🙂
I grew up in a big city (Denver) and now live in a small town and I love it! We both recently retired so next spring will begin looking for a house nearer to our kids and grandkids. They live in a larger city so we are hoping to find an acreage within 15 minutes or so of them. Neither one of us want city living.
Our summer has been crazy busy! In July, we spent a week in the Black Hills of South Dakota with a group of friends which has been the highlight so far. We own side-by-sides and we all went trail riding for a few days. We found the steepest, muddiest, rocky trail on the last day…it was SO much fun!! Next week we will be going to Nashville for a week so we are super excited about that too! We had this planned two years ago but then COVID happened.
I hope the chaos doesn’t last too long for you!!😬
Lee Anne,
You’ve had a great summer so far. I love that you enjoy steep, muddy trails instead of staying on the calm, paved paths and roads. Sounds like you have an adventurer’s heart.
Nashville seems like such a cool town; enjoy every moment!
Soon it will be you and Steve waving to the grandkids as they leave from the Charlotte house. The yard looks lovely and being closer to the airport and the Florida Smiths is an added bonus.
I grew up in a small town but moved to the city over 40 years ago. I can’t imagine ever living in a small town again. There is so much more to do in cities.
My summer has been relatively calm. I usually don’t take any trips in the summer as I don’t have kids. I’m hoping to take some type of trip this fall – maybe early October. My favorite time this summer was Monday night when my niece and her husband came through Kansas City from Houston. Several of us, 17 in all, met for dinner before they traveled on to her parents’ house for a few days before she heads back to her second year of graduate school on the 22nd. Most of the others were from my sister-in-law’s family but I know all of them since my brother married into their family 35 years ago.
Tomorrow I will take frozen custard to my parents at their nursing home as it’s my dad’s 96th birthday. We had cake for him on Saturday but were limited to 6 people in the room we reserved due to COVID restrictions.
Phyllis,
Sounds like you’re enjoying the simple joys of the summer: visits from family, frozen custard, birthdays, dinner with people you love, visiting with parents. . . enjoy the moments!
It will be a perfect fit! So happy for you.
Thank you, friend!
I am so excited for you! New adventures on the horizon.
Our summer has been a little bit of “all the things”. We moved my youngest son from Georgia to Kansas, had some downtime, relocated my work office from one floor to another and after 30 years that’s a bit chaotic, planned some vacations (Alaska is up first), and now my mother has purchased a house so we’ll be figuring all that out soon.
The Charlotte area is nice and the weather will be lovely come fall.
Enjoy the purging and the packing and putting back! I know you’ll make your new home suit you and Steve perfectly!
Suzanne,
Oooh, Alaska! The photographer’s paradise. Enjoy every moment.
Yes, I can imagine all your work stuff to a new place (even just one floor away) could be disorienting, indeed. Hopefully, you’ll feel settled in soon.
Becky,
I think it it is so a blessing to follow you through all these chapters of life , cancer , college, weddings, funerals, grandchildren and now another move and retirement – I will look forward to read about grandchildren one day.
I hope your move to Charlotte goes well and I look forward to read about your next adventures
Katrina,
And it’s a blessing to have you be following all these years. Thanks for being such a loyal reader. 🙂
I look forward to welcoming you to the big city!
Courtney,
Thank you. Looking forward to that, too!
Becky, that house is BEAUTIFUL! Is it several floors with a basement? Lol, I have a laundry chute and I love it, so much easier than hauling a basket down to the washer. I was kind of surprised a house built in 1974 even had a laundry chute.
I wouldn’t really call it moving to a big city with all those trees, grass, creeks, etc. Yes, you’re near the big city, but not in the center of it. Like you said, you have all the amenities of the city close by but your house looks to be in a nice quiet wooded area. I’m like a 20 minute freeway drive from Detroit, but I would definitely not call the suburb I live in “big city”. I couldn’t stand living in a big city either!
Haha, I have never been to Ikea either even though they did open a store not too far from me! I did see several of their catalogs but I was not impressed. Just not my style and the futon my neighbor got is not the least bit comfortable.
The only things that stand out about this summer is the HORRIBLE heat and humidity, and allergies! I hate winter but being stuck inside with the air on so much is just as bad. Many of the plants I’ve had for years look awful this year. I can see why my arctic willow is not happy.
As nice and outgoing as you and Steve are you’ll have no problem meeting and making new friends. Hope and prayers for the renovations and rest of the moving to go smoothly!
Kari,
The house is a ranch style with most of it on one floor. There is a full basement with two garages and a large rec room. What I love the most about it is the setting; all that grass and those trees!
Yes, I love the laundry chute. I think Steve’s dad had that put in; it didn’t come with the house.
Heat and humidity have definitely been the theme of the Summer of 2022. Whew! Any plant with the word “arctic” in it is definitely going to be unhappy. 🙂
This post makes me smile. The only thing that stands out to me about this summer is the heat. I think the news said the other night we’ve had 42 100+ degree days and gone over a month with zero rain. So I’m looking forward to cooler weather and some rain.
Sue Ellen,
Wow! Forty-two days over 100 degrees? Where do you live again?
NC has been HOT but we have never gotten over 100–although with the humidity, it feels like 140. Fall can’t come soon enough!
I’m in Mesquite, just east of Dallas, Texas. We got “real” rain Wednesday evening and it was WONDERFUL!! Dropped the temps 20 degrees!
Sue Ellen,
Real rain! Woohoo!! And a temp drop makes it just perfect. Enjoy!
I could hear in your voice as you continued to talk about this and that – of course I can live here! I think that was the first thing I always thought of because, I too, came from a small town and thinking in my mind – could I live there again – ah, no. I need to go places and do things – like thrift stores, restaurants, concerts, etc. So they are nice places to visit – for me – but the suburbs are much better. Know you will have fun fixing up the house and making it your own and a fun place for family to visit from not so far away. This has nothing to do with your post, but have been wondering, is someone in your congregation going to have the men over at Thanksgiving. Always enjoyed seeing the pictures and the enjoyment those men had.
Sharyn,
The year we couldn’t have Dare Challenge in because of COVID, one of the guy’s parents did a meal for everyone. If not a family, then a church will step up this year.
Yes, we are looking forward to fixing up the house and putting our own stamp on it. I am trying to remember to take before pictures because it’s always fun to see the transition.
I applaud your decision Becky. An increase in health care providers in the Charlotte area is a ‘positive’ for sure. It will be great fun discovering new consignment shops, day trips/adventures and shopping around Mecklenburg County. ‘Google’ says that there are three ‘Whole Foods’ Markets in the Charlotte area. I really enjoy shopping @ the Asheville Whole Foods Markets.
Please share any ‘tips’ that you might have for purging/decluttering household items. I am in the process of organizing my home and going through many boxes in my closets. There has to be an easy way to do this, right?!! If so, I have not discovered this ‘easy way’ yet 🙂
Gloria,
Not sure there is an easy way to declutter but in my case, attitude has a lot to do with it. I go into each area to declutter with anticipation, thinking of how other people will be able to use what I’m getting rid of, how much neater the area will look, and how good it will feel to “live lighter.” If I get into a room where it’s overwhelmingly cluttered, I always start in one spot and gradually work my way around, bit by bit. It used to be I would dart from place to place around the room and so progress was very hard to see. It’s fun to work along and see order where you have been.
Good luck!
Thanks for your input regarding purging & decluttering household items. I really like your comment, ‘remembering that someone else will be able to use the items that we pass along’ 🙂
Happiness is making an old home your new home! sounds like a wonderful future!
Mrs. Pam,
You’re so right. It’s going to be a chaotically fun adventure!
I am tired just from reading your post… lol. Bless your hearts. I am not jealous that you have alllll that work ahead of you. I just pray everything goes smooth and easy for you all and I am happy for you. You will not be too far from the Concord Mall which is a wonderful place to shop. Just think, you will get to look for all the thrift shops you have never been in. Such fun to be had. God bless you all in this next journey for you and Steve.
Kaye,
Ha. I got tired from writing my post! When you actually see everything to be done written out, it’s a bit daunting.
Yes, I’m definitely excited about new areas to explore, new thrift stores, and new country drives. Definitely a year of change.
I am so happy for you, this sounds really exciting! I can’t wait to hear about all your great adventures.
We’ve had quite a summer so far. Our older son had a serious crisis in June that was very difficult. And we are hopefully adopting our third child, another son this month. And our daughter is on an amazing vacation right now!
Jenna,
I’ve been reading on FB about this new adoption possibility and cheering you on mightily from North Carolina! Sorry to hear about your son’s difficulties; thankful he has parents to turn to in those times.
Yes, this is all definitely exciting . . . and slightly overwhelming. But I’m looking forward to the adventure.
I always lived in a big city and then retired to a small community 30 min south of a big city. It is great having “culture” nearby but still living in a more rural area. Sounds like your place is similar and the photos show it’s beauty. I did not have kids to hand down the family home too, but it was still difficult to sell my parents home and not keep it in the family. I think you will have many great family gatherings there and quiet times with the two of you down by that beautiful creek. Prayers that your move goes smoothly and you feel at home right away.
My summer has been fairly hum drum with nothing really exciting. Sometimes hum drum is just fine and dandy
Patti,
You’re so right about fine and dandy being humdrum! 🙂
Sounds like you live in a great location; in the country but close to big city stuff. It’s so interesting how some people, given the choice, gravitate toward a big city and others go straight to a small town. Both kinds of places can be great, depending on what we make of them
WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR NEW DIGS! I WAS BORN IN CHARLOTTE BUT HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE BECAUSE MY PARENTS MOVED BACK TO NASHVILLE WHEN I WAS 6 MONTHS OLD! I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT NOW. I AM CONSIDERED A CALIFORNIA GIRL NOW AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF LIVING IN THE BAY AREA. PS..LOVED SEEING THE FAMILY PHOTO WITH YOUR FATHER IN LAW (AND MIL).
Jojy,
Charlotte, Nashville and California. You’ve lived in some great spots! I’ve always wanted to visit Nashville.
I don’t know much about Charlotte yet but I’ve heard a lot of people say it’s a beautiful city. I can’t wait to get to know it better.
I missed the post about Steve’s retirement so had to read that first. Wow! What a lot to take in! Hope you and Steve can stay healthy through all of this. Good luck with your move.
Liz,
Yes, it’s definitely a lot to take in and a lot to DO! Step by step by step.
I did the opposite of what you did. Moved to a small Manteo like place from a major city suburb. For pretty much the same reasons. Very similar scenario actually.
Didn’t think it was yet time for Steve to retire though which caught me by surprise. I figured it was best for Gage and Sarah to move on and would have suggested the Family home for them as buying an affordable place these days very difficult without strong career skills.
Medical access important. And if Steve not quite ready to truly retire, work opportunities will be better in the city. The Manteo home probably st close to if not at peak sale possibilities, so that’s a good thing. Looking forward to continuing adventures
Catherine,
Yes, whichever direction you move (big to small or vice versa) it’s quite the adjustment!
We won’t be totally retiring; we’ll both have part-time jobs once we get settled in Charlotte.
The family home would still be out of the reach of Sarah and Gage’s newlywed budget but at least they’ll still be able to come and enjoy it. 🙂
I love, love, LOVE this post! Good for you being open to a change-of-heart. At our age (I’m a little ahead of you), it’s easy to just stick with what we’ve always said/done/felt, but I believe God wants us to be “moldable” until our dying day. He’s definitely taken me out of my comfort zone in the last two years. I’m now doing disaster relief work (in a Finance role) for a Christian organization all over the world. ME! An introverted, routine-loving, home/husband/dog-loving, somewhat timid 62-year-old woman. God never ceases to amaze me. I think your Charlotte-suburbs home is going to bless you (AND your family) in ways you can’t imagine. Well done, Becky. Well done, indeed!
Jenny Jo,
“An introverted, routine-loving, home/husband/dog-loving, somewhat timid 62-year-old woman.” Love this description! 🙂
So does your position mean you actually travel all over the world or just handle the finances for those who do? Either way, that’s got to be so great to know you are making such a huge difference in people’s lives.
Thanks for your encouraging words about our move.
Amazingly enough, Becky, i actually do travel all over the world myself. So far, I’ve gone to Myanmar (prior to the coup), Beirut (Lebanon), Germany, and Ukraine. I’m learning to trust God as never before. And guess what? We really CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Imagine that!
Jenny Jo,
So cool! I really love the fact that you started into this whole different sort of life as a middle-aged person, not as a 30-year-old. You set an example for all of us that it’s never too late to set off on the adventures God has written into our stories.
I am remembering stepping to that home on our honeymoon which will be 40 years ago in November. Ken and Vernie welcomed us with open arms. It was a beautiful setting. Ken took great pride in teaching me the best way to eat grits for my first time. I am sure you will be able to settle in quickly after you get through the chaos of clearing the home. How I do miss Vernie’s sweet comments on my FB posts and her kind messages. Good luck on your new adventure and enjoy retirement!
Ginny,
How wonderful that you have memories of the house we will be living in. Ken and Vernie definitely had a knack for making people feel welcome; that is a tradition we definitely want to carry on.
I miss Vernie, too. She always had the right words to say.
I am so excited for you. God really changed your heart and now you will be there with SOOO many wonderful memories and making new memories with your family too.
Wendy,
Yes, old memories and new memories all mixed together. I’m looking forward to it!
My summer has been calm with much reading. We’ve had a pretty wild weather this summer with tornadoes several times and time spent in the basement. Luckily I had no damage. Not ready for winter to arrive and hoping it will stay away until November.
I am so excited for you to move, even if it’s a big city. I love that St. Cloud is relatively small.
Cindy,
Tornado warnings are certainly no fun, especially when they’re bad enough to send you to your basement. So glad you’ve been okay through the summer.
Yes, winter in Minnesota is not for the faint of heart. You’ve got a few more good, non-wintery months remaining!
This is just so exciting!!! AND, the next time I’m in Charlotte visiting my daughter and her family I’d LOVE to get together! I love Charlotte. I’m praying for your move and all that it will take to make it happen! 🙏🏻🤍
Kim,
Yes, we would LOVE to see you when you’re in the area. Give us a holler!