We finally got to have a birthday dinner/celebration for Gage, a couple of weeks after the fact.
Sarah baked him a delicious dark chocolate, raspberry cake; her first birthday cake for her new husband.
There was so much jolliness going on that at one point in the party, some mustache-twirling broke out. You know it’s a grand gathering when the twirling of the mustache starts.
Of course, the Hat made an appearance. Also, please note that no expense was spared in the birthday decor. I am all about pulling out all the stops when it comes to extravagant displays. However, if you look at the photo above, you’ll see that Steve does pull out the stops when it comes to gift wrapping. He always does such a good job at it while I’m a wrapper of the more slap-dashery sort.
The gifts ranged from lighthearted to serious. Gage is a big fan of vintage stuff, enjoys Charlie Brown, and is also a writer so this typewriter/message cards from a vintage store seemed like a good fit. There are ten double-sided message cards to switch out.
He had asked for a book by Eric Metaxes who is also one of Steve’s favorite authors. Of course, he had to strike a dramatic pose.
Sarah and Gage went to Fayetteville this past weekend to celebrate his birthday with his family.
I love all the elements in this photo. Family. Music. A dog. Books being read. And right there in the midst of it all. My daughter! (You can see the tips of her toes at the forefront of the photo.)
She grew up with one wonderful brother and has gained five more. Brother-blessed!
And finally, here’s a video of the Smith nephews and niece (along with their cousin, Parker) singing their birthday wishes to Uncle Gage. I love the cha-cha-cha at the end.
So grateful for this incredible young man God brought to our family.
Nathan and Meagan have been sick with Covid for about eight days. Meagan has had it much worse than Nathan; she has asthma so lung-related illnesses are not a good thing. (Which I can relate to.)
One day Meagan’s breathing got so bad so had to get into Urgent Care for help and in addition to covid, was diagnosed with pneumonia and bronchitis. She’s still having some struggles with her breathing but is slowly gaining ground.
Steve and I were talking last night about how bad we felt when were down with Covid and agreed that we couldn’t imagine being that sick and caring for four young children at the same time. Nathan and Meagan are my heroes!
Saturday, Nathan and Meagan made the best of it by going to a nature park and letting the kids run off some energy.
She sent me a photo of super dad, still not feeling great but strapped to the mast and ready to do what needed to be done to care for her and the Smith-ettes.
She also posted the following on our private Smith FB group a couple of days ago:
Best husband and daddy award goes to Nathan…I’ve been sick in bed all day and he has taken care of the kids, fed them real food not just junk, took them to the water park, helped them clean the house, and cared for me all at the same time. I got me a good man when I got him!
Gage commented: “Way to go, bro! What a great example!”
Love my sons.
Steve and I got to Charlotte about 8:30 last night. I have to admit, it brought a few tears to pull up to Vernie’s house and for the first time in forty-two years, not have someone there to open the door and dispense welcoming hugs. The last time I was here, the house was bursting at the seams with Vernie, the Florida Six, Sarah and Gage, Steve and I, and the dog. Noise and happy chaos were everywhere.
It’s very quiet now. Just Steve and me, rattling around in the stillness.
I already had an overdue appointment scheduled in Chapel Hill to see my pulmonologist today, so I am leaving at 6:30 to make the two-hour drive. I had a pulmonary function test in Greenville last Thursday and there were a few markers indicating that Covid did not play nice with my lungs. I’ll be interested to have the final results interpreted by Dr. Lobo and get his insight.
The PFT tech told me that sometimes it can take six months to a year for lungs to get back to where they were before Covid, and sometimes they don’t return to that baseline at all and a new baseline has to be established. So. We’ll see.
At any rate, after my appointment, I’ll drive back to Charlotte so that Steve and I can visit with Vernie this afternoon and in the morning. We will drive the 6 1/2 hours back to Manteo tomorrow.
Vernie is making some progress, but not as much as she’d like; she’s still on oxygen 24-hours a day and has some challenges to overcome. But whenever I talk to her on the phone, that Vernie verve is still very much present. Looking forward to getting to hug her in person later today.
Mom is holding steady. She sleeps about fifteen hours a day but enjoys the time she is able to be up. One of her grandsons, Ben, flew in from Arizona on Saturday to spend some time with her.
Lovely all the days of her life.
With both Vernie and Mom ailing, I am reminded all over again that life is short. And someday, I will be the one in a wheelchair, the one on oxygen, the one within shouting distance of heaven.
I just hope that when that time comes, my life will be marked by the same dignity, gentleness, and grace that our beloved moms continue to show.
What about you? Is your mother still living? If not, how old were you when she passed? What is (was) your favorite thing about her?
What’s been one of the favorite things you’ve ever done on your birthday?
I lost my dad in December of 2018, my mom in September of 2019, and my mother-in-law in August of 2020. You don’t have to be a great mathematician to see that there wasn’t a year before we lost another in those 3 years. As an only child wiith both of my parents gone, I’m feeling the great responsibility of keeping all the memories alive. My mom was 36 when I was born and 87 when she died. I was blessed to have her for as long as I did. I had the privilege of caring for her the last year of her life. I brought her to live with me. We had a complicated relationship as she never wanted children and made it known. Being a mom wasn’t her thing. But I loved her anyway and showed it to her in her last years. It was good for me. I’m praying for you during this season. It’s hard.
Lisa,
That is a LOT of loss in such a short amount of time. I’m so sorry you had to endure that.
I have to say that I am inspired by your words about your mom; they show great maturity, depth of character, and unselfishness.
“Being a mom wasn’t here thing but I loved her anyway.”
Even though she felt like being a mom wasn’t her thing, she certainly raised an amazing daughter.
Hi Becky,
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve commented, I’ve had a lot going on to deal with, but I’ve kept you all in my prayers. I’ve faithfully followed your blog and have prayed, smiled, worried, laughed, cried and rejoyed along with you at the ups, downs, curves, twists and turns on the highway of life you’ve shared with your Smithellaneous family.
My mother passed in 1992, the day after her 74th birthday. I had turned 43 just 3 weeks earlier. My mom was a teacher and a loving, caring, wisperson. As she grew older, one of her favorite sayings was, “I never complain about my age, I thank God for letting me live this long.” I can’t really say what my favorite birthday was, but, probably my most memorable gift was one I think Steve would have loved. A dear younger friend (adopted niece) called me the weekend after my 62nd birthday (a beautiful, warm November day) and said, “Aunt Linda, don’t ask any questions, but dress a little warmer than usual and meet me at the farm (where she boarded her horses at the time).” She had arranged a ride on an ultralight (air vehicle) for me. Awesome!
Enough rambling from me!
Hugs, blessings and prayers.
Linda in Pittsburgh
Linda,
I love your mom’s saying about getting older. Every year, every breath is a gift, indeed.
Teacher, loving, caring, wise. Those are words that any mom would be honored to be described by.
And what a great 62nd birthday gift. A surprise ride in an ultralight! Steve and I flew in a hand-built, open-cockpit plane many years ago; such an amazing experience. I’m glad you got to have that adventure.
Thanks for following along with the “ups, downs, curves, twists, and turns” of the Smith clan. Glad you’re a part of the Smithellaneous family!
Hope the Florida Smiths are feeling better soon. I can’t begin to imagine both of them having COVID with 4 little ones.
My mom is still living. Her mind is slipping though which makes it hard. She was only 28 when her mother passed, I was only 4 at the time. My mom was a good cook, she passed that on to me. She also loved growing flowers. Unfortunately I did not get that trait. I have a black thumb.
I think my favorite birthday was either my 50th or 60th. For my 50th, my friend from Daytona and I went to New Hampshire and Maine. It was late July and quite hot in Florida so the cool weather in New England was delightful. For my 60th birthday, my cousin and I went to the northwest. We were in Victoria, Canada the day of my birthday and I think we went to Butchart Gardens that day.
Happy belated birthday to Gage!
Phyllis,
Sounds like you’ve had some really fun “decade” birthdays. Anything that involves travel is a great idea!
I also have a black thumb but greatly admire anyone who can grow stuff.
Your mom was so young to lose her mother. I know the two of you must have missed her everything single day.
Happy, happy birthday to Gage! I love my “brothers-in-love” so much and it’s very apparent that Sarah loves hers as well (and they love her right back). Family is wonderful no matter how you get them!
Get well vibes and prayers for Meaghan and Nate! I cannot imagine taking care of 4 young kids and being sick.
Continued prayers for the Moms in your life. I treasure mine (even when she drives me crazy with her independent streak) and we are the best of friends.
Suzanne,
Yes, even when our moms drive us crazy, we still decided to keep them. 🙂
And yes, it’s great to be able to be presented with new siblings as an adult. What a nice life bonus!
I love that Sarah has so many brothers! I’ve always thought it’s an awesome thing that when you get married, you don’t just get a spouse… if you’re lucky you get a whole new side of family.
My mother is indeed still living, and she’s one of the best people I know. My favorite thing about her is that she is still working on growing and improving. She works at being a good mom to her adult children, works at being a good friend and member of her community, works at learning to do new things (or old things better). She’s amazing!
The birthday I remember loving best was 6th grade. My parents were (rightfully) strict about school and playing hooky was not an option. But for my birthday in 6th grade, they pulled my brother and I out of school for the day and took us to Six Flags. We had such a great time, made all the more special because ditching school was not a thing we EVER did.
Kristina
I am trying to emulate what your mom is doing so well; to never stop learning, growing, and becoming a better version of who I used to be. Good for her!
I love that you got to skip school in the 6th grade. I’m sure that made the whole birthday outing 67% better. 🙂
What an emotion provoking post. I think I’ve shared with you before that my Mama passed away 51 years ago (a month ago) when I was nine. So old pictures with her are treasures.
I enjoyed the Gage birthday “stuff” and I absolutely love the Snoopy typewriter notes! I’ve been a Snoopy fan since high school and have some of my Snoopy stuff from then, along with more recent acquisitions – both new & yard sale finds.
I’m so sorry to hear MeagaNate have been suffering from Covid. I can’t imagine trying to recover from that while caring for their precious four. Prayers they continue to heal and Meagan gets the rest she needs for her lungs. I was also sad to read that you are still having covid-induced lung issues. I hope you’re able to start trending in the right direction with your lung function.
I’m glad to hear that both Moms are hanging in there. I can’t even imagine how I will feel the first time we go back to in-laws empty house when that time comes. They are both in their 80’s and while they are relatively healthy, I know that will be something we face sooner than I will want. Your Mom looks so pretty & serene in her pictures.
I hope you have a wonderful visit with Vernie and safe travels back home.
Sue Ellen,
Yers, it’s quite an experience to walk into an empty house. Nothing can quite prepare you for it. But the love and the memories are still there in the walls so I still feel them all around.
Glad to find another Snoopy fan. That stuff is so great!
I hope everyone is feeling better soon. I can’t imagine being I’ll with vivid and caring for 4 children. I hope the news you get from the pulmonologist is not too discouraging, it is really is hard to watch your parents decline.my dad was much old than my mom and passed away when I was 11 from lung cancer ( long time smoker). My mom passed away from cancer st 78. I was 47. She had a fever for a week , then was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. She was dead within 2 weeks. Not 100% sure of the type since they didn’t biopsy it as it was already in too many spots as seen on the CT scan. You did not suffer much which was a blessing. Fortunately. Both of my in-laws are in their mid 80’s and going quite well. I’m sorry to hear of your moms are not doing so well. Prayers
On a happy note it looks like z gage had a great birthday’ I know both you and I have “big” birthdays coming up. We are the snake age just a few days apart, Mine is on the 5th.
Happy early birthday to you!
Michele,
Wow. You really didn’t have much time when your mom passed away. It’s amazing how someone can just run a simple fever, and then be gone in two weeks. I can’t imagine the emotional whirlwind for you and your family during that time.
I’m never heard of sixty being called the snake age. What is the meaning behind that phrase? Curious! And a very happy birthday to you.
I’m sorry in my above post the term “snake age” was a typo. I meant to type “same age”! Oops, didn’t proofread before I posted.hope you have a great birthday(with no snakes) Ha!
Michele,
No worries. You know me. If there’s a new term or word I don’t know, I have to immediately find out what it means and start using it myself.
Guess I’ll take snake age out of my vocabulary–at least in a 60th birthday context.. 🙂
Wow, I really want a slice of Gage’s chocolate raspberry birthday cake. Great job Sarah!! The happy birthday tribute from the Smith-ettes and cousin Parker was so precious, especially Grayson keeping rhythm with his pacifier. Love that little guy.
Love the photos of Jo Anne, especially he photo of Jo Anne and Ben.
Prayers for Vernie, Jo Anne and Meagan.
I’m an annual pass holder @ Biltmore Estate here in Asheville. I spent the afternoon walking thru the gardens, conservatory, and grounds around the house. I am so happy to announce that ‘spring has sprung’ in Asheville, NC !!! Several bushes are already in bloom with beautiful fragrant blossoms. Daffodils are in bloom and all of the trees are filled with buds. Signs of God’s miracles were everywhere. Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow !!
I subscribe to the Manteo First Assembly Newsletter and understand that there is another birthday to be celebrated on March 6th. Becky, please take plenty of photos for your Smithellaneous friends.
Gloria,
Sarah is turning into quite the cook; her cake was wonderful.
Yeah, Grayson is his own man in every sense of the word. Love him, too.
How fun to have an annual pass to Biltmore. The most fun part would be to do as you are doing–keep going back and noticing the small changes in the seasons that occur week to week. What a cool thing to have that pass. I would LOVE that!
Yep! Party is on the 6th. My birthday is on the 8th. Hard to believe it’s coming–60 years!
Hi, Becky! I was 22 when my Mom passed away. She was expected to come home from the hospital after a stroke and then an aneurysm burst. By the time we reached the hospital, she had died. I was the first to her room and realized quickly she had passed on, but was able to sit there briefly and hold her hand before nurses pulled me away. The nurses’ behavior angers me even now. I guess way back in the 70s they thought it would damage me somehow…that’s all I can come up with. Mom was ahead of her time – she (and my Dad) always encouraged me to try things regardless of what gender usually did them. Hence, at 16 I had a rifle and a motorcycle and learned to use both! She had great wisdom as well. I’ve missed her greatly over the decades that have passed and Jennifer K is so right – my Mom’s early death shaped me emotionally in ways I had to battle through years later, and in all honestly, I haven’t won the battle completely.
Guerrina,
Well, I am angry right along with you that you weren’t allowed that extra time with your mom after she passed. I don’t know if it was hospital policy at the time or the nurse was just not tuned in emotionally. Either way, I am truly sorry.
And what a great woman to give her 16-year old daughter a rifle and a motorcycle. Good for her, good for your dad, good for you! I can only picture the shared happy moments back in that season as you pulled on your tomboy boots and showed the world how it was done. 🙂
I can only imagine how losing your mom that early changed and shaped you. You were just a little younger than Sarah is now and I know how it would devastate her. God has brought you through, brought a measure of healing, a blanket of peace–but a mama is always missed.
Becky, so sorry to read over the last couple posts that both your and Steve’s Moms are not doing so great. It really has been a time these last couple of years. Thankful for their faith and God’s promises that when their time comes – they know where they are going. I lost my Mom to Breast Cancer 36 years ago when I was 5 years old and only have memories of her being sick – but I know from the stories that she was something special! I am always so thankful for the foundation she started in my walk with the Lord – I know that because of God’s faithfulness, I have a strength in me that only he provides.
I have realized as we get older how special Birthday’s have become – every year I turn I am just so thankful to be here for my 2 kids 🙂
Monique,
As I near my 60th birthday this year, I am inspired by your words. Although no one really likes hitting those big birthdays, the privilege of being able to have 60 birthdays, when so many women/mothers were given far fewer is something I truly need to concentrate on and be extra, extra grateful for.
Sixty years? What a gift!
And I am so sorry that your mom never reached that milestone. I will think of her (and all the other mothers who passed way too early) when I open my eyes next Tuesday. Hugs.
Yes! Every year what a privilege! Thankful for every wrinkle and every grey hair 🙂 Happy 60 years Becky!
I just love how much Gage fits in with your family. Same quirky likes, same dramatic poses and just a fun guy! Sarah (and your family) are so blessed. And Gage, as well. Sarah is such a sweet soul and fits in great with her new brood of brothers. God is so good!
And Nathan and Meagan are so great together also. The are raising lovely children.
And you are so right…life is short. Enjoy every bit of it.
Continued prayers for all of the Smiths and Campbells.
Krista,
Yeah. We sort of like having Gage around. 🙂
Thanks for the continued prayers; it’s been quite a rollercoaster ride lately.
I hope the Smiths start feeling better soon. My daughter had COVID in December, she was fully vaccinated but works in a restaurant in Raleigh and comes in contact with a lot of people. She could barely get out of bed, I can’t imagine how Meagen and Nathan are taking care of 4 children!! My Mom passed away in 2009 she was 75 and I was 52, she was at someone’s house and thought she was opening the door to the bathroom but it was the door to the cellar and she fell. The ambulance got her to a major trauma center in 45 minutes but it was too late, she was in NJ and we were living in KS , my sister called telling me to get the first flight out but as I said, it was too late. The last time I saw her was about 4 months earlier at a family wedding so it is a wonderful memory, everyone I loved was there, my favorite things about my mom were here kindness, her bravery and her sense of humor. At Thanksgiving we had an open door policy, anyone that wanted to come to dinner or had no place to go, was welcome at our house. She had lived in our small town her whole life and the day of her wake, it was POURING buckets but we stood and welcomed people non stop for 4 hours, she was so loved. The next morning her funeral service was held in our church which was pretty big, when we walked in and looked around we were shocked, every pew was filled, the balcony was also filled and there were people lined up along the sides. It was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful lady. I think one of my favorite birthday memories goes back to when I was 9 and my parents took my sister and me to the World’s Fair in New York….and another was when I turned 28, I had been married for about 3 weeks, we had gotten our first videorecorder and I had to work late but when I got home my husband, who, while not a professional singer, has a wonderful voice, had recorded himself singing about 10 songs on the recorder , including our wedding song and some of our favorites…….sorry to go on so long…but any chance I get to talk about my Mom, I take! I will keep your Moms in my prayers.
Dale,
What an amazing tribute to your mom; you captured her so well I feel like I know her even though I’ve never met her.
To have people lined up for a funeral in pouring rain says a whole lot about the person they came to honor. And I love your favorite things about her: kindness, bravery, sense of humor. What a combination.
And to get to go to a World Fair? What an adventure. I’m jealous!
Talk about your mom all you want. 🙂
Prayers for all the ailing Smiths. Bravo to Nathan and Meagan. It’s truly amazing how we often find the strength and means to go on, when necessary! I also had 4 kids. A younger mama can’t be down for long!
Happy birthday to Gage!
My mom was 76 and I was 51, when she died. She’d had a major stroke when she was 71. She went from strong as an ox, to quite frail, in an instant. Looking back, I admire her strength. I often saw her as stubborn, but the older I get, I realize it was more strength than stubborn!
I am very blessed to have my in-laws around. One of the best birthdays I ever had was a simple gathering at their house a few years ago, and my in-laws had a special cake for me. I felt such love, and continue to learn from their thoughtful, kind gestures. They have a strong faith, and fortitude in their beliefs, that inspire me every day.
There are amazing, beautiful locations where we could travel. But I am finding the times I share with my dad, in-laws, kids, grandkids, and family, THE most amazing and beautiful! Your blog, and the comments from others, confirm that, Becky. Thank you.
Ann,
It is a difficult transition to see someone who was once so strung suddenly become so weak. It’s hard to wrap your mind and emotions around it. And yes, I think it’s great to translate stubbornness into strength because that’s just what it is!
And I love that your favorite birthday was so simple–feeling loved is the best decor or gift one could ask for on a special day.
My Mom turned 94 last month. She finally quit driving about four months ago at my sisters request. She has a wonderful neighbor that takes her out and about so she isn’t house bound. My sister visit’s frequently. She is getting ready to buy a home very near my sister. She has been in our family home for over 65 years. So there is a lot to sort through. Happy Birthday Gage!
Cindy,
Sixty-five years of sorting. Now THAT’s a task! I’m sure you stumble over a million memories.
And driving at 93? She sounds like she has a lot on the ball. And it also sounds like a great decision to quit driving at 94. 🙂
Many prayers for you all.. including moms, daughter in law and you!! My mom is 86 and on O2 full time and walks with a walker. She has many health issues but always has a smile on her face and love Jesus tremendously. I think I have bronchitis right now, don’t think it is Covid.. just normal seasonal junk. Feel lousy but still kicking, though not as high. I hope you all have a blessed week. Love those grands! They are all so adorable. Praying for your health Becky. Beautiful week ahead here in Mount Airy, NC. God is good!
Kaye,
Who needs to kick high when you can kick at all? 🙂 Keep kicking!
Your mom sounds like the kind of person a lot of people would love to hang around with. A smile and love are in rare supply these days.
Feel better soon!
Prayers for your Mom’s and the lasting memories you have.
My mom was almost 88 when she passed and I was 54. I never thought about my favorite thing about her before. I remember her telling stories of her childhood, and I always enjoyed listening.
A childhood birthday that sticks in my mind was when my dad came home from work and tossed a twinkie into my lap and I knew he got it at his work from their treat box. Another when my mom put a candy stick in my lunch with a happy birthday not taped to it, I knew that it was candy she had bought for Halloween, but opened early for me. Sometimes it is the little things that are special.
An adult birthday was when I got to Maine in time to see a full moon over the ocean. Fell in love with Maine that day.
Patti,
A full moon over a Maine ocean? I can only imagine why you would fall in love with that beautiful state right at that moment.
How wonderful that your memories are so simple. A Twinkie. A stick of gum. Both of them given to you with love, given to make you smile. Who could ask for anything for?
And a storyteller for a mother is a wonderful thing, indeed.
My mom has been gone since 1996. She was 62 and I was 37. She was such a rock and a steady, calming presence in our lives. She was an RN and so incredibly smart. My kids were her only grandchildren and she really doted on them and worked hard at making lasting memories with them and for them. She would have LOVED their spouses and the great grandchildren!! I miss her every single day.
My birthday is tomorrow and I wish we could go golfing since it is going to be 75 degrees. However, it is so dry here that none of the courses will open because having people on the grass will just damage it. Many years ago, we DID golf on my birthday. It was 80 degrees, we wore shorts and even got a little sunburned. Pretty crazy weather for Nebraska. The one thing we usually do on my birthday is go to the horse races in Grand Island which is about 25 miles from here. We make it a big group thing with a bunch of friends and it’s so much fun!
Happy birthday to Gage! The video of the kids singing to him was adorable. Continued prayers for the moms and also for Nathan and Meagan to get well soon!
LeeAnne,
That is sobering to read that your mom was only 62 when she passed–just two years older than I am. I can only imagine how much you miss her–and it makes it all the more difficult that you didn’t get to see her meet her grandkids’ spouses and the generation to follow.
A rock. A steady calming presence. Incredibly smart. Doting. Memory maker. Sounds like you summed her up perfectly.
Hope your birthday was wonderful!
Good morning Becky!
My mom has been gone a very long time. She had a stroke and died at 42. I was 22. Her early death shaped me almost as much as her life did. I’m 53 now and wonder how different our lives would have been if she were still here being the center of the family. Alas, we will never know! Enjoy and cherish the time you get with those you love.
Jennifer,
What a profound statement, “Her early death shaped me almost as much as her life did.” There’s a lot to unpack in that sentence and I know you’ve been unpacking it a long time.
I can only imagine how Sarah losing me in her twenties would affect her. Almost beyond comprehension. Your mom is still living through the wonderful person you have become–but that doesn’t make the missing any easier.
Things in life happen so fast . . . and people are gone. Thanks for the vital remember to cherish the time we have with the people we love.