Boxes and Backs and Old-sters

August 15, 2022

Last week’s Charlotte trip was mostly good–with a few events to keep things interesting.

After our Sunday church service and seven hours on the road pulling a U-Haul, we arrived at the house at about  9:30 p.m. only to discover that half the electricity in the house was out–including the air conditioner. (Temps were high 90s that day.) Steve bustled around and did his mysterious man stuff and got enough of the power working for the AC to eventually cool the house down a bit.

After a warmish night’s sleep, I woke up Monday morning, raring to go.  So much to do, so many plans, such a long to-do list.

Go, Becky, go!  See Becky, go.

Except I did not go. In fact, I did the opposite of go when I discovered that my body had launched itself into its semi-annual Rebellion of the Back which basically meant I couldn’t stand up straight without pain and spasms.  I took a muscle relaxer and trundled myself back to bed for the day because what else can one do with a rebellious back?

I’d been working at warp speed the past few weeks, trying to get things sorted, organized, and packed in Manteo and my body obviously had a conversation with itself and decided to put a halt to the whole process so that its frantic owner could rest.

And then, Steve’s brother, Dana, who was going to help with unloading the U-haul as well as do a few other things, fell and broke his foot Monday morning.  Also, on a Monday morning walk, Steve stepped into a hole and came very close to badly wrenching his ankle.  Monday night, the three brothers were supposed to get together for dinner and to discuss a bunch of important stuff but Steve’s other brother ended up with a scheduling conflict.

So as Mondays go, it was not overly fabulous.

In the meantime, the house looked like this.

I had gathered all the knick-knacks and small stuff from the other rooms and put them in the living room so that they could be gone through more easily and then distributed from there.

I spent an inordinate amount of time (at least three hours) cleaning out the secretary where Vernie kept her papers.

I found a picture of Steve and the kids sitting in that very room many years ago. So many memories behind us and so many memories to be made.

I haven’t had the heart to touch this area yet. Ken and Vernie have had this paper holder up on the wall for as long as we can remember.  Vernie was an inveterate note-maker and I can’t even imagine how many rolls of that paper she went through in her 47 yeas in that home.

It’s hard to believe I am going to be the new Grandma Smith waving goodbye on these very steps.

Meanwhile, back in Manteo . . .

we have amassed boxes of every size and description; unfortunately, most of them are still empty. I would be just 62.78 percent happier if they would all just pack themselves.

Here’s Sarah’s room in the process of being cleaned out. Since their current apartment is quite small, she left a lot of her belongings here.

I found these nifty tags on Amazon. Not only is there a heading for what room a box is headed for, but there is also space to write what is in the box, which will be helpful on the other end of the process.

In between packing and pastoring . . .

Steve has been working on home improvements.

He spent one of his days off replacing this mailbox.

The new one makes a nice upgrade to our curb appeal.

In other news . . .

Wayne, a Dare Challenge graduate, has been interning with us this summer on the worship team.  He is an incredibly gifted singer, pianist, and songwriter and we’ve loved having him here.

Two weeks ago, the old-ster musicians took the Sunday off and Wayne and the younger folks led worship.  Here’s a short clip.

Steve taught both the rhythm guitarist and the bass guitarist how to play.  I have spent time teaching the keyboardist and of course, we have both worked with Wayne over the two summers he’s been here. The young guy on the conga is the grandson of our regular drummer who is passing on his gift to the next generation.  And of course, our favorite son-in-law was up there, too, adding his own special flavor to the music.

As we leave this church and go on to our next season, it brings us joy to know that the music skills we have planted in these young people will continue to grow.

Last week (which was Wayne’s last Sunday here) he sang a song he wrote and gave his testimony.

He’s only twenty years old, but he’s been through a lifetime of trauma.  He was molested as a child, his mom used drugs, his homelife was unspeakably unstable, and he went through eight psychiatric hospital stays with accompanying strong medications. He dealt with severe anger issues, had problems with drugs, was addicted to arson, and when he graduated from high school, he was homeless.  Shortly after his graduation, he wound up at Dare Challenge and the rest is history. This young man has really and truly been transformed.

Unfortunately, he was at Dare Challenge during COVID so we didn’t have the guys over for the big Thanksgiving meal.  Steve was telling Wayne about the meals we’ve had for the guys every year with the folded napkins and the name tags, etc.  Wayne sounded so wistful that he missed it; those kinds of events don’t come into his life very often.

And so, two days before he was to leave town, I took off my packing hat for a brief while and put on my entertaining hat instead. I didn’t have real long to get it together, but I managed to move some boxes out of the way, get a table set and prepare a meal for him so he could feel special and enjoy “the whole works.”  He was so very appreciative. (Sarah and Gage joined us, too.)

His birthday is coming up shortly, so we did a little birthday thing for him, too.

He left last Monday for the drive to Dallas, TX where he is attending Christ for the Nations, a school that teaches (among other things) songwriting, singing, and worship leading.  We’re so proud of Wayne and so inspired by the story of how God has so radically changed his life.

Steve has enjoyed the mentoring he has done at Dare Challenge since we’ve been here. He has served on the Board, taken the guys to lunch, and taught a weekly class. He plans to find a new place in Charlotte where he can continue to mentor men like Wayne and help them on their journey from being hopeless to hope-filled.

So that’s all the news from Manteo.

It seems odd that in just four weeks, I will no longer be writing from here–this town, this house, this living room. If I think about it too long, I’ll get teary so I’ll just say goodbye for now and go check to see if any of my boxes have packed themselves yet.

One can always hope.  

 

What about you?

Have you ever mentored someone? Or been mentored by someone?  

If you have been mentored by someone, what are some takeaways from that relationship?

What words of advice stuck with you?

What does your week look like? What’s something you’re looking forward to?

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20 comments so far.

20 responses to “Boxes and Backs and Old-sters”

  1. Rachel Leigh Richardson says:

    Steve and Becky, you are so great at showing and sharing your God-colors. As you have poured yourselves into others, they will now pour themselves into others and send ripples of God’s love.

  2. Phyllis says:

    Oh my! No air conditioning does not sound like fun. I think your body was telling you to take a break.
    I have never officially mentored anyone although I had several people at work that I “showed the ropes”. Monday I was showing the lead counting role to a new lady and will have a man to show it to next Monday. We are down to two lead counters, each person typically serves for four months so it will be nice to have four people that can do the job.
    My week has relatively uneventful. I met my dad at the ophthalmologist Monday afternoon – that was an adventure. It took the wheelchair van over an hour to pick him up after his appointment so we waited in the foyer until they showed up. Tonight was an HOA meeting.
    Good luck on getting everything cleared out and packed.

    • Becky says:

      Phyllis,

      I’m in the same boat as you, “showing the ropes” to the people who will be learning my jobs. It definitely is a form of mentoring, just passing on skills to help someone else. People who count the money are so important; thanks for volunteering for that job.

      Sounds like that wheelchair van was not having a very speedy day. Glad it eventually arrived.

  3. Judy says:

    Your adventure has been an adventure to follow. It will all get done in time but the memories along the way will validate your being there. Enjoy your new home and family…

    • Becky says:

      Judy,

      Adventures are a mixed blessing, aren’t they? As you said, when you come out at the other end, that validates the whole process. And I love the use of the word validate–so perfect for this context.

  4. Suzanne says:

    I’m so impressed with all you’ve accomplished so far even with the back, ankle, and chaos! Just keep swimming – as Nemo says! Can’t wait to read more about your adventures in moving!

    • Becky says:

      Suzanne,

      We are definitely swimming as hard as we can inspired by our friend, Nemo. 🙂

      Thanks for your encouraging words.

  5. LeeAnne says:

    The chaos will only be temporary and worth it in the end. I’ll be thinking of you!
    We are leaving on Saturday for an 8 day road trip to Nashville, TN and surrounding areas. Lots of miles (approx. 2200 in all) but will be so much fun!

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      Temporary is a good word to dwell on as I sit in the middle of increasing chaos!

      Always jealous of anyone about to embark on a road trip. Enjoy the journey and all the miles in between.

  6. Liz says:

    I am exhausted just reading your post! You and Steve are leaving behind such a legacy of compassion and service. Charlotte is lucky to have you. Take care of yourself!

    • Becky says:

      Liz,

      Thanks for being exhausted on our behalf. I thought maybe if I spread it around a little, I’d feel better. 🙂

      We can’t wait to get to Charlotte and see what ministries God has for us there.

  7. yvonne2936 says:

    Love the Hummel collection above the desk. I have several pieces also, which are so precious to me. One I received as a wedding gift in 1961 from my best friend while in elementary and high school. The picture of Vernie is a keeper.
    Your new mailbox makes a nice statement.

    • Becky says:

      Yvonne,

      I know, aren’t the Hummels beautiful? They are so innocent and sweet and old-world. How special that you have one received as a wedding gift from a friend. Memories to go along with the beauty of the piece.

      Yes, I love that photo of Vernie. I have seen her (and Ken) stand there and wave so many times.

  8. SueEllen says:

    WOW – Four weeks is quick! Looks like you have a collection of good packing boxes – I love paper cases and bankers boxes. They’re the perfect size for so many things, and stack so nicely. I hope a few of them have packed themselves and that your back cooperates. This turning 60 stuff isn’t for sissies. I love that you took time from your (very) busy schedule to have that special dinner for Wayne, and that you even incorporated the “Smith Special Birthday Hat”!! Wishing you a productive week.

    • Becky says:

      Sue Ellen,

      Yes, I managed to nab a few banker’s boxes and they are wonderful. I wonder how they got their name? Whatever the reason, I wish I had a hundred of them!

      No self-packing boxes have appeared yet, so I am slogging my way through the packing process. If I don’t look too far ahead, I’m fine. If I DO look ahead? Not so good. Moment by moment . . .

      We loved doing that meal for Wayne; it made my mama heart happy to cook for such a fine young man.

  9. catherine young says:

    You’ve really gotten a good start on this move! I’m sorry about the setbacks.

    How is housing market in Charlotte for Sarah and Gage? Are prices for a small flat and availability better than in Manteo? I’ve been terribly surprised that this small town as far from a major airport as Manteo is, has such a tight housing market with prices very high for a dry , 1

  10. Gloria A Smith says:

    Sorry to hear about the ac problems, your rebellious back and Steve’s ankle. I enjoyed the photos of Vernie waving goodbye, the paper holder by the wall phone and Steve replacing the mailbox in Manteo. Great job Steve. Like Vernie, I could not imagine going through the day without ‘notes’!

    I appreciated your comments on last week’s blog regarding ‘purging household items’ and ‘organizing’. The idea to take overwhelming tasks ‘bit by bit’ was great advice! Thank you.

    Wayne’s story is so awesome and ‘God filled’. My brother & I met Danny Burdette a couple of years ago and I was so impressed with Danny’s testimony and the great job that he is doing with Dare Challenge in Wanchese. So good to hear that Steve volunteered with Dare Challenge and plans to mentor in the future with a group in Charlotte. Mentors are ‘Gifts from God’. I meet with three Christian based connect/self improvement/bible study groups during the week and have ‘unofficial’ mentors in each group. It’s such a blessing to walk with brothers and sisters in Christ that have experienced similar life events. It let’s us know that we are not walking thru this world alone. Praise the Lord!

    What am I looking forward to? I am so looking forward to my December road trip to Palm Beach County, Florida! I lived in Boca Raton, FL from 1988-1992 and always enjoy return visits to Florida. I plan to spend the holiday with cousin Lily and her family. Hopefully Lily’s husband Dale will drive Lily & I down to Marathon, FL to visit cousin Betty Gail for a few days. Excitement is in the air!

  11. dmantik says:

    It’s no surprise your back went out! You guys are living with enough stress to throw out a few hundred backs! I don’t know how you do it. You both are such hard workers and are getting an incredible amount of stuff done, self packing boxes notwithstanding!

    I’m so impressed with how you and Steve have poured into the youth of your church. Your investment in them will benefit them for a lifetime. And they in turn will no doubt go on to mentor others–a lovely circle of kindness and blessing.

    Wayne’s story is incredible and truely, he is a walking testament of how God can change a life. And programs such as Dare Challenge and people like you and Steve assist in the transformation! I love that you took the time in the midst of your craziness to do a special meal and birthday celebration for him. A priceless gift.

    So proud of you both. Before you know it, the move and chaos will be done and you’ll be enjoying a new chapter and lovely home in Charlotte.

    Sending love and hugs,
    Deb

    • Becky says:

      Deb,

      Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy and encouraging comment; I think “encouragement” should be your middle name!

      “The move and chaos will be done.”
      Let me just sit and gaze at those words for a few seconds. Ahhh Balm to my soul.

      Hugs to all the Mantik people!

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