If you haven’t stopped by in a few days, sure to check this post about a way you can help Sarah as she prepares for going off to college. (Scroll down to item #4.)
I’m writing from the comfort of the Comfort Inn in Chapel Hill, NC. Sarah and I drove over yesterday afternoon in preparation for two appointments today as we proceed down the road toward getting hearing aids for her.
She and I have been quite content here in the room with our computers and our books; we haven’t even turned on the TV and are down-to-the-bone happy with our sweet silence. Ahhh.
Last night, though, our cocoon of quietness was suddenly broken when she said, “Mom, I was just thinking. This is probably the last road trip you and I will ever take together before I leave home.”
I stuck my fingers in my ears and hummed loudly so I wouldn’t hear anything else she had to say. I have found that denial is a great tool for getting along in life.
Speaking of road trips, Sarah gave me permission to tell you about something that happened to her and Steve on the way home from their trip to Regent on Friday–she had her very first fender bender!
They were only about twenty minutes from home when someone a few cars ahead of them stopped rather abruptly at a stop light. The second car in line fish tailed a little getting stopped, the third car in lane stopped barely in time and the fourth car in line (our own sweet Sarah) bumped into the back of the third car. (Thankfully, she was only going about 15 .m.p.h.)
She was understandably traumatized by it all, especially having the police show up to investigate and issue her a citation. Thankfully the guy she hit was calm and courteous; I mean, who could possibly be rude to such a cute, dainty, crying female?
When the man gave Steve his business card with his contact info, Steve got a good chuckle out of the fact that he was an Accident and Personal Injury Lawyer. He told Steve, “If you need a good lawyer in regard to this accident, please feel free to call!”
There was about $4,000 damage done to Sarah’s darling new-ish car so now she has the unhappy consequences of paying a deductible for the repair and also paying higher insurance rates. Welcome to grown up life!
When Steve and Sarah finally got home Friday evening and she had cried a few more tears and eaten some poached eggs on toast (our family’s go-to comfort food), she asked if one of us could take her to work the next morning because she was anxious about driving. Being the tender-hearted mama that I am, I immediately said, “Well of course, sweetheart. I can take you.”
As it turns out, I ended up saying those words at exactly the time that practical-minded Steve was saying, “Well, Sarah, you need to get back on the horse as soon as you can and that means driving yourself to work.”
There were a few moments of silence while the three of us pondered our impasse; finally, I just told her to wait till morning and see how she felt after a good night’s sleep.
Early on Saturday morning, I was in the bedroom when I heard the faint sound of the front door open and close, informing me that our intrepid princess had decided to face her fear and start driving again right away. Steve and I were both so proud of her and thankful no one was hurt in her first bending of a fender.
You can tell she has recovered her sense of humor over the accidental incident.
Sarah was so thankful that her first accident didn’t happen while she was all by herself on a heavily-traveled interstate in Virginia Beach. Having Steve with her meant that he was able to walk her through the steps of calling the police, calling the insurance company, and dealing with all the unpleasant aftermath that comes after a bout of fender bending.
What about you? Do you remember your first fender bender? Share it here so that we can all commiserate with Sarah and with each other. I think she would love to know that she is not alone!
I feel for Sarah!
I got my license late in life, and got in my first (and so far only) ‘accident’ a few months later.
I was stopped at a red light, when it turned green, the cars started to move so I started going as well. Turns out the car directly in front of me hadn’t started moving yet and I bumped into the back of him. I hit him hard enough to crack the plastic grille on the front of my car and put a 1/4 long scratch in the back of his car.
I pulled off, and stepped out -ready to swap insurance info and move along…but then he jumped out.
He started yelling and cussing, waving his arms and accusing me of texting. Just a few months prior, the lady at the insurance office had told me that if I was involved in an accident that I should not say I was sorry because that would admit fault. When the man started yelling the only thing I could think of was “Don’t say you are sorry!” so instead I stood there listening to him yell before I burst into tears.
He flagged down 3 cops, a fire truck and an ambulance. It was on the side of a busy road and people kept stopping to see if he was ok. Each time he would yell “I was just involved in a motor vehicle accident, of course I am not ok!”
The cop thought someone was seriously hurt -between the man yelling and me crying -he couldn’t get a straight story. In the end the cop (who originally said I would be getting a ticket) said he could see I was shaken up and would let me off with just a verbal warning. He then told me that he had been in the same kind of accident when he had first got his license -so Sarah really isn’t alone -even police have been in ‘accidents’. We swapped insurance info -but he never turned it in.
For me, that day sticks out clearly in my mind. I didn’t have the option not to drive the next day -regardless of how badly I didn’t want to. But I believe it was a really good eye opening experience -I wasn’t distracted that day, and still managed to bump into another car. How much worse could it have been if I was distracted?
Really glad that Sarah was ok and that it wasn’t worse than it was…and good for her getting back in the drivers seat -I know how hard that can be 🙂
CJ,
I am so sorry that guy yelled at you. That was one thing I was so thankful for in Sarah’s accident, that the guy was calm and patient. Sarah would have been completely done in if he had been yelling.
In your case, it sounded like a serious over reaction on his part. I mean really? A 1/4 inch scratch? And flagging down police and an ambulance and a fire truck? Boy howdy!
In the middle of those stressful situations it feels like we will never get through them but somehow we do. I’m just sorry he made it more traumatic than it needed to be.
Thanks for taking the time to share your story!
As he didn’t turn it in on his insurance, probably had too many points already and hoped the police would write her up so he could get his car (and probably his “whiplash” fixed) without going through his insurance company. I was married to a Florida State Trooper in a previous life and he said they found that happened all the time.
Mimi,
Well, it’s nice to hear from someone like you who has a little insight into such odd behavior! 🙂 Being married to a State Trooper probably gave you insight into a lot things!
Early 90s, I had just moved to the largish city I now live in, job hunting. I’m in a suit, it’s 90+ degrees and I really don’t know where I’m going. I was about 6th in a line of cars turning left on an arrow – I get close and the light changes, so I stop for the red light. Guy behind me (probably 3 car lengths) hits me! He’s going about 35 mph and I’m stopped. Well, loud noises, yelling (found out later it was him yelling at me for not running light), people walking over to check on me, police there immediately. As it was so hot, the nice policeman, #1, asked me to sit in his front seat and the other guy to get in the back (the 2nd policeman also got in the back). Well, policeman #1 asked me happened and I said light turned red, I stopped, got rear ended. He asked guy in backseat for his story – the guy (that hit me) said, “well I saw the light change, but I thought she would run it and I would just run it after her, but she stopped. Can you believe it, she just stopped!” Policeman #1 looks in rear view mirror at me, then at Policemen #2, then back at guy that hit me and said “Say that again?” The guy repeated. Policeman #1 looked at me and said your car is driveable, we have your info and you’re ready to go – just call your insurance agent and have them pick up the report, no problem. The guy in the back seat opened his door and both police said, “We’re not through with you”.
Mine was pretty funny except I suffered from ocular headaches for about 4 weeks and the guy that hit me did not have insurance (not required at time) so I had to pay deductible. Two years later, I get check from insurance company, they had sued (I was not aware of this) and won, so I got deductible plus interest back…
Traded car within 6 months as the frame was damaged.
Tell Sarah she was very brave to get back behind the wheel so quick. I did, but mine was a have to situation. Kudos to her! And remember, cars can always be fixed or replaced..
Mimi,
I have a feeling that the story that other driver told the police was repeated in police circles for many years to come. There is nothing quite like sitting in a police car with two officers and admitting to breaking the law. And also to do with such a sense of outrage about YOU not running the light!! Unreal!
I’m glad the story turned out well for you–you got your money back and the headaches went away. I’m not sure what happened to the other guy but I imagine it had to with tickets and fines.
Such an interesting tale to read; thanks for sharing!
Okay, Sarah:
I will now tell you several other stories about my sons and their accidents. I hope this will make you feel better. When my son, Chris, turned 16, I had to teach him how to drive. The front of our house has a stone wall that is next to our driveway, which is a quarter-acre long and is all uphill. Chris took that turn a little hard and crashed my relatively new car into that wall — not once but twice! Our friendly auto body shop guy, who has been taking care of
our family’s cars for 50 years, patched that poor car up twice. Each time, I had to pay $1,800 in repairs.
My second son, Cory, was a much better driver. He never had a car accident until he turned 21 but it was a bad one. He was texting while driving last summer and hit a telephone pole. (Cory, obviously, was ignoring our family rule of no-texting while driving.) He was less than a block from our house. Our car was 12-years old and the insurance company declared that the car was totaled. Cory also had to get stitches on his face. We were so lucky that he wasn’t injured more seriously, or that he hadn’t hit another car.
Cory is no longer allowed to drive until he can earn enough money to buy another car. He has been riding his bike to school and work every day. The day before Easter he was riding his bike to work in Chicago.The front wheel of his bike fell off and he was pushed into a traffic lane. He knocked out his two front teeth and fractured his elbow in several places. He had to have a plate with several screws put into place and he is still receiving physical therapy some eight-weeks later. The dental work also was pretty extensive and painful. Poor guy! He has really paid for all of his driving sins.
Debbie,
Hmmm. It seems as though stone walls and young drivers aren’t a good combination! Poor Chris–I’m sure he was quite distressed at hitting the wall the SECOND time!
I really admire your stance with Cory on making him wait to drive again until he can buy another car. That’s a tough thing for a 21-year old to deal with but I’m sure he will never again be tempted to text and drive. Tough love is, well, tough! (On parent AND child.)
And then for him to have his bike wheel off? Poor guy! I hope the rest of his wheeled transportation days are free of any more trauma.
Sarah,
So sorry to hear about your fender bender. Having a small accident these days is something of a rite of passage into adulthood. It truly is, and you will feel a lot better in a few days. You really will. I am the eldest of five children. Being the oldest, at least in my family, meant you were the trail blazer, and it was not always an easy trail to blaze!
I received my driver’s license when I was 16, but it was a long and arduous journey. My father made a huge, hand-lettered sign that read “student driver.” I had to drive many hours through the corn fields of Illinois with that stupid sign. I did get my license when I was 16, but I was still deemed too young (by my family) to drive. (By the time my little brother turned 16, some 14-years later, he not only received his license but he was driving a monster truck that was so big that you, quite literally, had to use a small stepladder to get into the car!)
It wasn’t until I was a senior at the University of Missouri that I was finally “given” my own car. I had to drive eight miles (one way) to the university’s TV station on a daily basis and I had to have a car. My car was a 10-year old, rust bucket Chevy II. The car had so many holes that I had to place cookie sheets on the floorboards so my feet wouldn’t hang out through the bottom. I am not making this up! When I graduated and got married a few months later, I gave that old Chevy to a friend who drove it for several more years.
I thought I had traded up in the automotive world when I could drive my new husband’s 12-year old, pale blue Ford Falcon. It was pretty decrepit but my husband loved it. I had to learn how to drive stick, which was a big challenge because the gear lever was broken and I had to use a set of pliers to shift gears.
We spent our entire, week-long honeymoon rebuilding the Falcon’s engine in our living room. My husband thought he was a good mechanic but he wasn’t. We ended up taking the broken engine to a mechanic, who was able to get our car running again. Things did get better for me, automotive-wise, and I am currently driving a two-year old Honda CRV, some 40-years later.
So, Sarah, please don’t be upset about your fender bender. Things could have really been much, much worse!
Debbie,
I LOVED all your stories, starting with the humor (and humiliation) of your dad painting a big Student Driver sign for your car. I can only imagine how uncool you must have felt with THAT sign adorning your vehicle!
And the whole idea of putting cookie sheets on the floor board so your feet wouldn’t hang out the bottom was a hoot. Amazing that you passed that car on and someone continued to drive it! That was a faithful old buggy!
And then the story of spending your honeymoon fixing a car in your living room and changing gears with pliers? Oh my. I am SOOOO very happy that you are now driving a lovely, modern car without the need for pliers or cookie sheets!
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your entertaining stories!
I remember one day driving to my Uncle Carlton’s house and I had been to the bank. I was driving my brother’s car which was bucket seats. I looked down to put the receipt in the console and ran in the ditch. My cousin was with me and of course we could not get it out so we got out and walked the two blocks to my Uncle’s. He went down to get the car out of the ditch (in front of the elementary school which was out) and met a policeman who said a lady called and reported two 12 year-old girls ran in the ditch and got out and left the car. I was 17 or 18 at the time. My Uncle took care of it and nothing happened. I had grass in the bumper when I got home and my younger brother delighted in telling me my other brother was going to be mad. All he said was, “Are you all right?” That was it. Never have forgotten it. Things do happen and we get over them and go on. So glad Sarah drove the next morning because the longer she would have waited the harder it would be to drive again. Praying she gets her hearing aids soon and they work beautifully for her.
Ann,
Isn’t it amazing how those stories of our first car incidents stick in our brains for so many decades?
I think it’s funny that someone assumed you and your cousin were both 12 years old. If that had been the case, there WOULD have been some trouble!
Glad you escaped with just a little grass in the bumper to show for it!
Mine was traumatic. I was sued for all kinds of damages. It was not clear whose fault the accident was, but the other party wanted to wring every cent possible from the incident. And my insurance went up to a very high level. I’m still fearful of accidents due to what happened.
Cath,
Oh, I can’t imagine the trauma of an accident and then the long term trauma of being sued and having to deal with all that ugliness. It’s especially upsetting when it wasn’t clear whose fault the accident was. I am so sorry that happened to you.
My first accident was back in 1974. I was a sophomore in high school and it was homecoming week. A bunch of my friends and I were out driving around (two cars) from one float-building site to another. We were being careless and trying to beat each other to the next place. I took one street; the other driver went a different way and we both ended up at the same corner at the same time and crashed into each other. The 2nd worse part is that I was driving my mom’s Ford Ambassador. Luckily, it was built like a tank so didn’t sustain much damage and no one was injured. The very worst part though was going home and telling my dad. I was so scared!! Of course, I was punished but his first reaction was that he was so glad that I was ok.
I’m glad that you’re ok! That’s scary stuff! Does your county have a program like ours where you can go to a class (for a fee) and then the citation will be taken off your record? It might be worth checking into. The cost of the class might well be less, in the long run, than any potential insurance premium increase.
LeeAnne,
That’s a great idea about checking for a class; we’ll have to do that.
I’m glad that in your first accident your were driving the equivalent of a tank! Doesn’t make the accident any less traumatic but at least there were no injuries.
I think a lot of accidents with younger drivers are due to being distracted by friends. Glad you were okay–amazing though, how memories like that never go away.
Oh dear! It happens, unfortunately ☹️! I had my first one a whole week after passing my driving test. Took my eyes off the road for a second, hit a curb at a fuel station designed for lorries. Cue written off car and a very unhappy father who had to come rescue me. The second time, a year or so later, the lady in front hit her brakes hard (later she said because there was a loose dog, but there wasn’t, I don’t know why she braked and I don’t think she did either) and I went into the back of her. Not a write off that time, luckily. All part of driving though, and well done to Sarah for getting back in the seat!
Rebecca,
An accident only one week after passing your driving test? That must have really shaken your confidence, since new drivers aren’t real confident to start with!
And then to hit a “mysteriously braking woman” a year later? Not fun. I hope your driving experiences since then have been good ones!
Well. Yes I remember. I was like Sarah, a newish driver. This was in about 1976. I was driving along on a not real busy commercial street in my mom’s Ford Country Squire station wagon(huge, like a boat). There were cars parked all along the sides. I had my little brother in the car. SUDDENLY, the car in front of me pulled over to the right like 2 feet and stopped. COMPLETELY STOPPED. Like they had pulled over into a parking space, except there was no parking space cause cars were already parked there. so the guy just sidled up close to them and stopped. And of course, I ran into his left rear end because he was still in the road. Hello.
So we got out, he looked at his car, I looked at mine, I really couldn’t see any damage, neither could he, so he said, just forget it and he drove off. I kinda did not know what to do. So we drove home. For like 4 years after that I worried that he had gotten my plate number and was going to sue me for whiplash, lol. Very slowly that wore off. I will say that the car never ran the same after that, it was constantly out of alignment(whatever that means). And, yes, my little brother did blab it to my mom….
My younger sister, on the other hand, when she started driving, had what was known as a lead foot. She pressed too hard on the gas a lot of the time. Anyway, she did not hit a car, she hit a bush!! In a person’s yard. Yup, she went around a corner and was going too fast and plowed right through a hedge onto a person’s lawn. We only knew about it when she came down our street afterwards with a huge bush stuck under the car with flames training behind…lolol.(Same boat of a station wagon). We did have to pay about $400 for the hedge repair.
Ahhh, those were the good old times 🙂
Then there was the time my oldest son obtained a dent on my car(claimed he didn’t know how it happened, haha, must have been a drive-by while he was parked at a friend’s house) and he drove it to the high school to hang it over a bank of dirt and plunge the dent out with a plunger. Yup, that happened.
I will stop now…..
Glad you are OK Sarah.
Leslie,
You have to wonder what in the world people are thinking when they just STOP in a roadway. There’s basically no way you can avoid hitting someone like that! I’m just sorry you spent 4 years worrying that he was going to come and sue you for whiplash! :
I’m glad your family had a “boat of a station wagon” because it seems like it kept you and your (lead-footed) sister nice and safe!
And it could be that Sarah won’t need to go to a body shop at all; we can just go and buy a plunger! 🙂
whoops! I just remembered that I backed into the yardman’s truck in my own driveway. and got stuck…, I think I told you about that previously. He got our vehicles separated. I didn’t want to pay to get my car fix, and his truck was okay.
Mrs. Pam,
Well, just one small accidental incident in all of your decades of driving is a pretty good record. Good for you!
I don’t remember ever hitting another car.
guess I’ve been lucky. I do remember rushing to church, when all of a sudden the cars on the highway stopped… LOTS of brakes and fishtailing, but I managed to stop in time. whew!!, keeps me on the look-out every time i near that exit.
OH no! I hate that for her!
I’ve never had an at-fault wreck, but I’ve been rear-ended twice and it’s the pits!
Stefanie,
It’s interesting–the guy who Sarah rear-ended said that that has happened to him on the Outer Banks several times in the past 5 years. Traffic is a bit crazy in the summer!
And no. Not so much fun.
the thing that gets me is that in NC if you hit someone in the rear you are automatically charged. I think it should be the person at the front of the line who slammed on the brakes. This happened to my son when he was off at college and the officer had to give him a ticket but he went to court for him once we got the letter that we would fix it. The officer got a bit upset in court as he said the spot would not have cost more than a dollar to fix but the lady had managed to get $4000 out of the insurance company. Proud that Sarah got back in her car the next morning and that she nor Steve were hurt
I think that is the case for most rear end accidents, not just here in NC, the feeling is you weren’t keeping a safe distance, my daughter rear ended someone in Kansas City and got a ticket for it…..I remember my first fender bender too, I was 18 and that morning had gotten a ticket for going through a yellow light, I had dropped something and bent down to pick it up and the light changed and I sailed through it and then that afternoon, I was leaving work and backed into someone’s car…..bad day for me!!! I was petrified of yellow lights after that!
I’m so glad everything is okay! It sure does happen!
I concur w/ Dan on the law! You’re always at fault when you hit from behind (though now that the vast majority practice distracted driving I wonder if that will change in the future)!
Good idea to jump back on the horse, Sarah!
Jodi,
It is amazing to me how many people drive distracted; I’m especially amazed when they are texting in the fast lane while passing traffic! I just can’t imagine what they are thinking and if it ever enters their mind that they are putting so many lives around them at risk.
Dale,
Yes, I suppose I can see the point of ticketing the person who was following but if someone in the front of the line slams on the brakes, it makes things a little difficult for everyone in line behind!
Getting a ticket for a yellow light and backing into someone’s car all in the same day is not too much fun! It’s always nice when those days are over. 🙂
Oh I agree, it doesn’t always seem fair, last summer my daughter and I were driving on I-40 and there was a police car 3 cars ahead of us, apparently he got a call, and just stopped in the left land, the car behind him rear ended him, the car in front of us rear ended the second car and we were lucky enough to move over to the middle lane….but it was very scary.
Dale,
Doesn’t seem like a good idea for a police car to stop dead in the in the left lane! So glad you were able to avoid a pile up.
Becky,
Accident laws, insurance claims and court appearances are all so incredibly complicated. I’m very thankful that I don’t have a job in any of those fields, although I am very thankful for those that DO understand all the ins and outs and DO work in those areas.
Amazing that someone could get $4000 for such a small repair. Crazy world!
I’m also thankful that neither Sarah or Steve were hurt. Hopefully that will be her last accident for a very long time!
Both times I was rear-ended I was sitting at a stoplight, and had been for some time. One time, the driver who rear-ended me was texting and never slowed down (from 50mph). The other time, the driver simply wasn’t paying attention to traffic and plowed into me at 30mph. Not everyone who gets rear-ended has “slammed on the brakes.”
Stefanie,
Wow. I can’t imagine getting rear-ended by someone going 50 m.p.h! (Or even 30 m.p.h., for that matter.)
Bottom line from all these stories is to PAY ATTENTION! That doesn’t mean an accident will never happen but driving defensively is certainly the way to go.
Actually, I was hurt more by the 30mph crash – I had severe whiplash that lasted about 3 weeks. My best friend (who was in the passenger seat) had it worse than I did. This was back in the 80s in a Chevette – and I was rear-ended by a dump truck.
When the 50mph crash happened, I was driving a Mercedes, and that car functioned exactly as it was intended to – it completely crumpled around me, and I walked away unscathed. I didn’t even have whiplash or a headache.
Stefanie,
Yes, it truly does make a big difference as to what kind of car you are driving. Mercedes don’t cost big bucks for no reason. Amazing (and wonderful) that you were uninjured!