The Big Kahuna Writes

March 20, 2017

Before I get into today’s post, one of my  readers, Donna, left a comment on Friday’s post which included the photo of Noah and Madi holding hands.  Donna said she thought she remembered similar pictures of Nathan and Sarah and since I had been thinking that same thing, I did a little search.  Here’s what I found.

I found a second photos which is one of my all time favorites. Nathan and Sarah are headed into church for Sunday school, both of them carrying their Bibles. Sarah’s cute, balded by cancer head is covered by her cute, jaunty hat. I couldn’t love the two of them any more if I tried.

And here’s the repeated photo from Friday, just for comparison’s sake.  I love ALL the generations of kids I am blessed to have in my life.

Thanks, Donna, for the great suggestion to compare the photos!

 

Now on to today’s post  . . .

Our family has done recycling for about ten years now.  Last summer however, our smallish area for recyclables got overcrowded and so we decided to stop recycling cardboard and anything else that would break down naturally and not clog up the environment.

Unfortunately, it took Sarah and me a little while to make the switch, being the creatures of habit that we are.  As a result, the garage continued to overflow with all manner of cardboard-related things that she and I continued to (unthinkingly) throw out there.

Finally, the husband/dad of the house had had quite enough.

One morning we saw that the following typed notice had been taped to the door leading to the garage.  Sarah and I, wordsmiths that we are, got quite a kick out of Steve’s amusing and ponderously meandering missive.  I had meant to share it way back then but forgot about it; therefore, I am posting it today for your enjoyment and amusement. 

Important Notice To All Residents of  This Domicile

Whereas: recycling is a very important practice to conserve resources and preserve the environment.
And whereas: the overseer of this establishment values recycling with a great and admirable valuation:

Therefore be it resolved that the following irrevocable, utterly inflexible and immutable edicts are hereby
immediately edicted by fiat of the Big Kahuna and Grand Poobah, aka The Big Dog, Husband and Dad,
hereafter referred to as BK in this document.

Only the following items will be recycled in this household.

  1. Hard plastics
  2. Glass
  3. Tin cans and jar lids.
  4. Engine oil
  5. Aluminum cans
  6. Crushed egg shells (Ha. I kid.)

The following items will no longer be recycled due to the unfortunate and grievous lack of space in said BK’s sanctus sanctorum, vis-a-vis “The Man Cave.”

  1. Cardboard
  2. Paper goods

These items are not to be put into the trash container located at 237 degrees SW of  the house on the far side of the driveway, that is, beside Sarah’s car, or whichever comes first. This is justified by the indisputable fact that the following items inhibit the free and active exercise of BK’s vital work on his radio controlled airplanes. This craft is of  penultimate importance to national security, the profitability of numerous hobby shops , and the BK’s mental health and “pursuit of happiness” and other important things of which he cannot currently think of.   

Therefore let it further be resolved: 

  1. All lids of glass jars must be removed and placed in the container for recycling tin. BK is sick (and also tired) of taking lids off glass jars.
  2. Plastic bags and Styrofoam are not recyclable. So STOP PUTTING THEM IN THE CONTAINERS WITH THE PLASTIC THINGS!  NOW!
  3. Do not under any circumstances mix items to be recycled. This is important. Me thinks that there is a verse in the Bible about it in First Hezekiah. If not, then there should be.
  4. At times the pile of recycled items tends to overflow its temporary staging area container located in the laundry room. Please empty said container when full.

Therefore be it finally resolved: 

Failure to comply with any and all edictions in this pronouncement will be met with harsh and vindictive punishment and other really bad stuff, including the following: 

  1. Whining, complaining and pouting by the BK.
  2. A merciless and severe whipping with a wet piece of linguine soaked in SPAM juice.
  3. BK is not kidding. Trust me; like, you don’t even want to go there!

Thank you for your support and absolute compliance to this sovereign directive.

All my love,
The Big Kahuna

___________________________________________________________________

So there you have it.  A little light Monday reading for you!

And if you’ve ever wondered what a Big Kahuna looks like, this is it!

 

What about you? Are you a recycler? If so, how do you deal with the organization of it all?

 

 

 

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38 comments so far.

38 responses to “The Big Kahuna Writes”

  1. Ruth says:

    That was fun to read, my favorite line is—“other important things which he cannot currently think of.” Arn could relate entirely to this, I will have to have him read it. Recycling must be a major problem in households everywhere. “Where garbage is to be found, problems quickly arise, at least between husbands and wives.” ( a tiny poem for you, Bec) The lids on milk jugs can be an issue around here. Patience is critical in this everyday trial of living. Hope things improve for Steve in this all important role of being a fabulous husband. Ruth

    • Becky says:

      Ruth,

      Yes, I can imagine Arn getting a kick out of that rambling Steve did. 🙂 And I did like your tiny poem. I just made up a quick song for Sarah based on the title of a book she was reading so I guess we love creating on the fly. Miss you!

  2. Linda in Pgh says:

    I am an recycle/reuse/repurpose person. We do not pay extra for recycling and do not have to separate. We were provided (free) with a recycle can (45 gallon green and yellow trash can on wheels). They accept cans, plastics, glass (no broken glass or light bulbs) jars, cardboard, newspapers, magazines and even junk mail. Newspapers, magazines and junk mail must be bundled or put in paper bags. Cardboard must be clean (no greasy pizza boxes) and broken down.
    Instead of recycling newspapers, I save them and take them to our local humane society who’s uses them to line cat, rabbit and small animal cages. They also use paper towel and bathroom tissue rolls to stuff with Timothy hay for the bunnies.
    Yogurt containers and other similar small containers are washed and either used to start seeds or are given to a local preschool for some of their art/craft projects.
    Magazines are taken to area nursing homes or donated to my local library. The library sells them along with books of all sorts, records, jigsaw puzzles, board games, CDs, DVDs, cassettes, VHS videos and even sheet music in their “Book Nook”. It is one of my favorite “thrift shops” in town! I’ve gotten some great CDs for $1 that were like new and lots of cross stitch patterns for 25 cents each. They also sell new items like ear buds, pens, thumb drives, notebooks, tote bags, even snacks, cold drinks and have a Keurig for those who prefer not drinks! The “Book Nook” is staffed by volunteers and all proceeds benefit the library. In addition, they hold 2 large used book sales a year which include every type of used book you can think of including text books, encyclopedias, reference books and collectables. I love our awesome library!
    But I digress . . . As you can probably tell, very little goes into my actual garbage.

    Linda in Pittsburgh

    • Becky says:

      Linda,

      Two things struck me about your comment: your dedication to recycling and the amazingness of your local library. I think I want to move to Pittsburgh just so I can go to your library! 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing your experiences; great to read it all!

  3. Kari says:

    Another wonderful writer in the house! BK does a very good job with his proclamations!

    Our city has recycling but you must pay extra. As our taxes and water bills are so high we declined the service. The city next to us receives two large garbage cans on wheels, one can is for garbage and one can for recycling. The recycling can is put out for pickup every other week and there is no need to separate items, they all go in the one can.

    • Kari says:

      After reading Donna’s comment, I thought the picture of Noah and Madison reminded me of a similar photo of Nathan and Sarah, possibly a photo from the Caringbridge site?

      • Becky says:

        Kari,

        Hmmm. Now you guys have got my curiosity up. I just cannot picture the photo you are referring to. Will have to look around a bit!

    • Becky says:

      Kari,

      We would absolutely LOVE to have a big can on wheels with no sorting required. Oh the joy!

      In the meantime, we will keep filling up Steve’s man cave with our collection. 🙂

  4. Deb P. says:

    Wonderful notice, made my day!

    We have single sort recycling, everything goes in one bin and is picked up curbside every other week. Our newspapers, minus the glossy ads go to our friends that have 6 birds (parrots, cockatoos and macaws) for their cage lining. I am proud to say that our recycling bin is always more full than our garbage bin. I pass magazines along to others, most of our books are from the library, I use old phone books for quilting. We start our recycling at the point of purchase, can this packaging be recycled?, if not is there an alternative we can buy that is? The only thing that bugs me is “bubble packaging”, the hard plastic that you can rarely get into with out a fight. We don’t compost but do collect rain water in a barrel for watering plants. We also use cloth bags for groceries and other shopping trips. Rare is it here if we have a plastic shopping bag but once in a while we ask for paper bags to use to collect paper for recycling per the rules.

  5. Ann Martin says:

    Our town does not recycle. Did once but said it was not financially profitable. Everything goes in the trash. BK’s proclamation is out of sight! I do give my newspapers to my cousin as she does not take the paper and some magazines and devotion booklets I take to the hospital. We can recycle on our own but most people do not.

    • Becky says:

      Ann,

      I love passing on magazines that I’ve read. So much paper, time, ink and talent go into creating each one; it seems a shame to have them only enjoyed once.

  6. Lesley says:

    Never a dull moment with the BK!

    Not a stitch of recycling here. I think I must be the only one. I live in a large apt building and there is no recycling here. I walk down the hall, throw it down the chute and that’s that. Oh well.

    • Becky says:

      Lesley,

      It must be quite the luxury to not have to wheel trash cans to and from the curb! I have seen a few shows on TV that have a chute to drop things down but never knew anyone who actually had that where they lived!

  7. mrs pam says:

    When I was a little kid, my friend Ellie and I wanted to know the French word for garbage…thinking it would sound a little fancier. When I asked the French teacher, she said there wasn’t a word because they didn’t really have garbage in France. ???? Perhaps, they were recycling before it was “in vogue”.

  8. Mel says:

    Love Steve’s sense of humor. We recycle and are very lucky in that we do not have to sort anything!!! Did you see that Steve? We do not have to sort ANYTHING. 🙂 With that being said, we do have a 6 day rotation for our pick up which means that if it is picked up on Monday, the next week it will be Tuesday and then Wednesday etc., etc. Also, if there is a holiday, then it moves another day later so sometimes it gets confusing but I will take that over having to sort. We have three or four containers so we just throw everything in until the first one is full and then bring out another one.

    • Becky says:

      Mel,

      Wow. That would be delightful to not have to sort things OR take them to the dump! Think of us as you watch your recylables being merrily whisked away. 🙂

  9. Karen says:

    Yes I recycle and compost year round. Red wigglers, the worms used in composting, won’t survive an Iowa winter, therefore I use torn up newspapers to provide the carbon needed to breakdown food waste. I hope your “cardboard and anything else that would break down naturally and not clog up the environment”, are not being landfilled. If they are being landfilled sorry, they are clogging up the environment. I worked at a landfill for 10 years Landfills are built in a way to divert water away from the garbage and also the waste is covered daily so sun & wind don’t break it down. At one point excavation was done at the landfill and garbage (paper, cardboard, cloth, food, plastic) that had been buried for 20+ years showed no decomposition. And that’s more than anyone ever wants to know about garbage.

    • Becky says:

      Karen,

      Composting is a whole ‘nother level! Red worms and newspapers to provie carbon? I never knew that was all involved with composting!

      Interesting to read the information about cardboard. I guess I always heard that plastics would be around forever but carboard, not so much. Looks like I need to do some reading on that.

  10. Donna says:

    Well, just to make you look a little bit more, I was thinking there was one of Nathan holding Sarah’s hand and looking around at her like Noah was doing turned looking around at Madi. When I actually glanced at the picture without reading the post first, I thought it was one of Nathan because Noah favors him a lot. But who knows, I am bad to get different scenarios mixed up in this aging mind of mine!
    And I LOVE the BK proclamation! He has such a great way with wittiness and words!! I could see myself being the BK in our household if others didn’t follow the rules!!

    • Becky says:

      Donna,

      Well, now I am completely stumped. No other pictures of Nathan and Sarah are coming to mind. I’ll probably run across it one day and say, “Oh, THAT’S the one!” 🙂

  11. LeeAnne says:

    Ha! I loved the notice from BK…too funny!

    Yes, I am a big recycler and try hard to recycle everything possible. Our trash company takes the recycling and will pick it up once a week if we put the container out at the curb. They will take everything but glass, so we recycle everything that they take. We are given a pretty large dumpster, at no charge, to use and we can put everything in it. No need to separate or sort. Our ONLY requirement is that newspapers must be in a paper (not plastic; they don’t take those either. But Wal-Mart does!) grocery bag within the dumpster. I think the key to recycling participation is to make it as easy as possible. It’s totally voluntary right now but I can see it becoming mandatory in the future. I wish it already was.

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      It’s amazing that there is no charge for recycling. That’s one of the reasons Steve and I sort the stuff and take it in ourselves because it saves us $50 a month to have it picked up.

      I agree; it should be encouraged as much as possible.

  12. Here in the U.K. our local councils are pretty big on recycling and in the county I live we are issued with separate bins for recycling including paper and cardboard waste. They are picked up every fortnight alternating with the black general waste bin and taken to the tip to be sorted. This is all included part of the council tax we pay.

    It also takes me a while to adopt new regimes. My husbands grandmother used to collect plastic bottle lids for charity – the air ambulance as it is a fully voluntary service here – and then the scheme stopped. We used to collect them and either take them to her when we visited or post them, so when it stopped I was left adrift. I would find myself saving them anyway and then having to recycle them at a later date when I found them lurking in cupboards. Took me about 6 months before I got the hang of not saving them and even now I pause before throwing a plastic bottle in the recycling without saving the lid!

    • Becky says:

      Rebecca,

      I just looked up fortnight and found it was short for “fourteen nights” or two weeks. I love learning new stuff!

      I am glad Sarah and I are not the only ones who had some trouble with changing the things we recycle. Isn’t it funny that after all this time you still have to think twice about that lid? 🙂

  13. We recycle everything here, including batteries, electronics, and clothing.

    Luckily, our city has “single stream” recycling, where everything recyclable (paper, cardboard, glass, plastic, metal) goes into one giant blue dumpster in the alley. It’s sorted at a recycling station after it’s picked up by giant blue trucks – once per week.

    When I lived in Germany, though, I had nine (yes – 9!!!) separate containers for my garbage. Recycling was mandated by law there, so I had to sort:

    Green glass
    Brown glass
    Clear glass (but no window glass)
    Blue glass
    Paper
    Metal
    Plastics
    Cardboard
    Regular trash (there wasn’t much of this, at all)

    I’m laughing at the pronouncement of being sick and tired of removing jar lids. 🙂

    • Becky says:

      Stefanie,

      I am amazed at all the recycling categories in Germany. Wow!

      I had to laugh at the end of it when you said, “Regular trash. There wasn’t much of this, at all.” It’s certainly easy to imagine that would be true after 9 categories of recyling. But good for Germany, for taking it so seriously!

  14. dmantik says:

    Steve is such a hoot, which is one of the many and varied reasons why we hold him in such high esteem and general reverent-ness. ? as you know, we are big into recycling. We are blessed to have ours picked up by the city every other week, so we are able to keep it in the designated bin outside without it encroaching on any of Randy’s man space. You guys have to haul it off yourselves, right? You do good! ?

  15. Jenna HOFF says:

    That recycling notice was so funny!

    We’re big into recycling in my family, probably a good half of what would have gone into garbage is instead recycled. However my kids have wanted to try outdoor summer time composting for a few years and I just cannot handle the notion (have a bit of a phobia of wrigley creatures).

    Interesring tidbet: In the 80’s my city was the first in North America to adopt a city-wide blue box recycling program.

    • Becky says:

      Jenna,

      Had to look up wat blue box recycling was. 🙂 It’s wonderful your city has been recycling that long!

      And I’m with you on composting and wiggling creatures–not QUITE my cup of tea.

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