Today I am finally getting up the courage to write about Snowy’s funeral. I invite you to get a Kleenex and take the journey with me.
Last Wednesday, when the vet arrived at our home, she was carrying with her a cloth bag that the mother of one of her colleagues makes for every pet the animal clinic puts to sleep. That small act of kindness touched me so much; I was thankful to know that Snowy would be wrapped in something that had been handcrafted with love and compassion.
Sarah wrote on the lid of Snowy’s little box . . .
. . . and then we took the lid back off so we could add some of Snowy’s precious items to send with him.
The green chew toy was one of his favorites. He loved it when we would play tug of war with him using the toy; when he won the war (which was always), he would strut off with head held high, chest puffed out, arrayed in an air of confidence that he had once again established his world dominance in that particular important arena.
While Sarah and I were getting things taken care of inside, Steve went out to dig a tiny grave in a lovely shaded area on the side of our front yard. . .
. . . and then we carried Snowy’s casket out to it.
It was Sarah’s idea that we all wear white as a way of honoring or small, white friend.
Snowy Studmuffin Smith. October 31, 1999 to August 15, 2012. Beloved Friend.
We all joined in a circle hug and Steve prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for our littlest family member who had brought more joy and comfort to us than we would ever be able to express.
We all threw in a handful of dirt . . .
. . . and then Sarah put in the first shovel full.
It was such a difficult leave-taking.
After we had wiped our (many) tears and turned from the grave to go back in the house, we noticed a car had pulled up in our driveway; Sarah’s friend, Taylor, and her mom, Regina, were sitting there quietly, waiting for our little service to be done. They had stopped by with hugs, words of compassion and a beautiful plant to put on Snowy’s grave.
It was such a sweet thing to do.
The rest of the day was tough
Every time I walked by Snowy’s kennel, I saw its emptiness. I saw the red blanket that I had wrapped him in as he fell into his deepest sleep. It was the same red blanket that he had slept on every night.
I saw the food dishes that reminded me he wasn’t there to spill the food out of his green dish, the way he always (inexplicably) did.
I saw the med schedule on the cupboard that contained the record of our increasingly futile attempts to keep him comfortable in the last days and hours of his life.
I saw his collar, sitting on the table in the living room where the vet had put it before placing Snowy’s quiet body in the love-sewn bag.
I saw Snowy everywhere I looked.
And it was hard.
But it was good.
And I will see him always. Everywhere.
Shari, Stargell is such a beautiful name for a dog. It sounds like you all had a very special time with her during her last moments. Such an incredibly difficult thing to do even when we know it’s the best.
Becky,
It’s been a week or two since I checked in for an update and I am sad to hear of Snowy’s passing. Pets become such huge parts of our families and it is hard to make that final decision to let them go. In the beginning of August we also had to make that decision for our beloved 11 year old Golden Retriever, Stargell. Like you our vet came to our house and it was a blessing that we all were able to be with her until the very end, in our home and then buried on our back yard watching over us! I am sure that Snowy and Stargell are now the best of friends!
I am so sorry for Snowy’s loss. A few years ago, I had stopped by the vet’s to pick up Jake’s meds and saw a woman standing by her car crying her eyes out with a small dog wrapped in a blanket. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just went over and asked if she needed help. It turned out she was going in to put her faithful friend down. I asked if she would like me to go with her and she said yes. They looked at me a little strangely as I came back in their office with her, but didn’t question. I stayed with her and her pup through that and we hugged each other and left. I have never seen her again, but what a privilege to be with them during such a precious moment. Every pet deserves a loving end with his family by his side. Snowy was very blessed to have such a loving family all of his life, and also a family willing to stay with him and give him such a gentle passing.
A friend of mine framed her dog’s collar and tags and a picture and lettered her name and date of birth and death. It really came out beautiful and it hangs on the wall as a daily reminder of her special friend!
You ate in my prayers!
Holly Hart
That was really sweet of you Holly. I adopted one of my cats when I was 19. He’s old now, 17, and really starting to show his age. I am so scared of the day when I need to make the decision the Smiths made this week. I’m scared to watch him die, and for my final memories to be of his life leaving him, but I’m also scared to let him die without me. I don’t want to betray him after all these years of friendship. It was very kind of you to help another person through such a hard moment.
Ellen, a 17-year old cat? Oh, the sweet memories you must have made together over the years! When the time comes to say goodbye, you will know what to do and the best way to do it. In the meantime, give that sweet cat a hug for me.
Holly, that was such a dear thing to do. I can’t even begin to imagine how much your kindness and compassion meant to that woman. Thank you for telling a story that shows the best side of human nature. Hugs to you!
Beautiful tribute to Snowy. I think it’s really great that you were able to bury Snowy near your home. I’m still trying to figure out where to put my boys (2 cats). Right now, they are sitting in my living room watching over me when I’m in that room.
Praying that God helps you through these days. My heart feels for you Smith family.
Love,
Michelle-
Michelle, thanks for your sweet words. I’m glad you still have your two boys there to watch over you!
I cried my way through this post. So very sorry for your loss.
Jenna
Jenna, thanks for caring enough to cry; we are humbled that you would feel our pain along with us.
Becky .. what a beautiful post. Your family was lucky to have Snowy, and Snowy was also lucky to have you. The cloth bag was such an act of kindness it warmed my heart in the midst of sadness. Blessings.
Karen, yes, the cloth bag was certainly an unexpected blessing in the middle of a very hard day. I know that sweet lady will never know how much those bags mean to those of us who say good bye to our pets.
i didn’t really want to read this… but, knew I should,
and of course I’ve got a few tears streaming down.
Snowy had such a loving vet.
Pam, we were so blessed to have the vet that we did. She told us she had had to put her own dog to sleep so she was especially empathetic.
What a beautiful tribute to a beloved & faithful companion! I’m glad you had the support of friends–it’s so lovely that Sarah’s friend and her mom thought to visit and bring a plant. Thank you so much for sharing his life with us, and all the joy he brought.
Frapper, having Sarah’s friend show us was a great help in distracting us from that first time of going back into the house without Snowy there. Great timing.
I found this poem tonight, and I wanted to share with you. It reminded me of Snowy. I miss that face soooo much
When God had made the earth and sky
the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals
the fish, the birds and bees.
And when at last He’d finished
not one was quite the same.
He said, “I’ll walk this world of mine
and give each one a name.”
And so He traveled far and wide
and everywhere He went,
a little creature followed Him
until it’s strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth
and in the sky and sea,
the little creature said, “Dear Lord,
there’s not one left for me.”
Kindly the Father said to him,
“I’ve left you to the end.
I’ve turned my own name back to front
and called you dog, My friend.”
A wonderful tribute to Sweet Snowy Studmuffin Smith.
Lesly, thanks. I wanted to do him proud!
It’s always interesting to me how sadness and joy and pain and beauty are all intertwined. I see that again in your fine writings about Snowy.
So thankful we have our Sarah, who will be a bonified old lady when she turns 17 tomorrow!
With that in mind, I appreciated what Susan said in her comment and the kind way in which she said it. You are both amazing ladies.
Love, deb
Deb, you comments are always a joy to my heart.
I was afraid to check today as I hadnt been here all week. I had a gutted feeling in my heart only to find out that my worst worried were true. You lost your precious Snowy. I am so very very sorry. I have been following you since Sarah has been 8 years old. So my journey with you has been precious, memorable, laughter and tears. I am so very sorry that Snowy has left the presence in your life. I soooo know what you are going through when I lost my 15 year old Picky on Sept 9, 2010. I miss his precence to this day. I want to leave you a place where you can make a permanent memorial for Snowy for a small fee. It is a place to leave your testament and share with others thes beautiful life Snowy lived. It is http://www.critters.com Now if I could only quit crying long enought o see my typing….I am so sorry.
Nancy, thanks for your very compassionate words. I remembered you blogging about Picky and was so sorry when you said he had died. Snowy and Picky were two very special dogs!
Thanks, Love,
STeve
Steve, you’re most welcome; the post was a privilege to write.
Well done, Becky, well done. Hugs, Guerrina
Thanks, Guerrina, for the encouragement.
What a wonderful tribute to Snowy. I am so glad you had good friends quietly keeping watch on all of you as you said goodbye. It will be so comforting to still have Snowy near in the yard that he loved so much. Sarah’s sad face (and her strength to prepare all the things she did for Snowy) made the tears flow freely. You are living in a town of very dear, sweet people – evidenced by the love sewn pouch he rests in now. But I don’t envision Snowy “resting” much anymore. His spirit is dancing and his energy is alive. I hope you will continue to treat us to Snowy memories and pictures. As important as all our pets are, Snowy’s presence in your life was something uniquely special. That is evidenced by his devotion and care of Sarah as she battled cancer. He was truly sent for just that mission and everything else that was gained from his life, was just icing on the cake – maybe one of his “cheesecakes” that Sarah always made for him on his birthday. Thank you for including us in Snowy’s journey.
Mary, maybe we can have a REAL cheese cake on his birthday in his memory. I love me some cheese cake!
I am so sorry for your loss of Snowy. What I am about to say does not change that. I jsut want to be honest about what I experienced reading your post. I got to the part about his crate, blanket, food, med chart and thought of losing my son to cancer. How we also had all of those tangible things to deal with; bedroom, favorite foods, clothes, meds. How painful it was and still is. How lucky you are not to have experienced that with Sarah. Please don’t be mad I said this – I am not trying to diminish your pain. Since you are a cancer mom I figured you could understand.
Susan, during Snowy’s last month of life, I thought over and over and over about my cancer parent friends who have lost children to that disease.
We had come so close to losing Sarah when she was first diagnosed and I could not help but think how it would be if we had been dealing with her impending death instead of Snowy’s. The thought just completely overwhelmed me and my heart went out to the bereaved parents I’m acquainted with even more than ever before.
I absolutely can NOT imagine the loss you’ve experienced.
Thank you so much for your gentle, timely, important reminder. My heart, and the hearts of the Smithellaneous family, are with you today.
Susan, please know you have my prayers.
Awh…what a precious post…about a precious pup. We know all to well…jsut how difficult it is…to have a precious pup-family member pass away.
Your post truly touched my heart…and brought many tears to my eyes. Thankfully…you will have the precious memories…that will live on forever in your heart!
Praying for you all….
Kim~
Kim, yeah, we are definitely going to hold tight to those (thousands of) memories!
I actually thought i could read this and not need tissue. but seeing that little box in the ground, i just broke down. i am glad you have shared with us and am amazed at your strength to be able to take pictures. I am thankful your family doesn’t mind being seen at their not so best. Also glad that the extended family was able to give some insight on how Nathan is doing with all of this. we all will forever think of snowy and all his adventures.
Becky, yes, I think is definitely a Tissue Post. Thanks for remembering that special day with us.
You were so right about the tissues. Tears started as soon as I started reading and continued even now. Please keep posting about Snowy because he is a very real part of this family and we love reading about him sharing memories. We buried our first cat in our backyard and put bricks around the grave to mark it. I have a garden flag at the site and it is funny that now that small area is included in our “dog” fence. When we decided to fence in a small part of the yard for the dog to run and play Bandit’s grave happened to be in the area. I can picture Bandit chasing the dogs when they are out there playing. Many pictures and memories will help and will provide laughs as time goes on. Bless you all.
Ann, I love that your dog’s play area includes Bandit’s grave. So sweet.
I will return later when I have the strength and not as many tears to write something. Blessed little doggie.
phew, breathe….I sure don’t know how you wrote it, when, I could hardly read the words through my tears. What a beautiful send off to a wonderful little guy. Thank you so much for sharing the most precious of memories of a well loved family member. My heart still breaks for you but I am also comforted by the fact that you can visit daily having him so close to you in your own yard. with love and tears…..
Nancy, yes, I am definitely glad he is buried near us. I look at his grave often as I pass it and have such happy memories.