It’s been quite a week!
As I briefly posted on Friday, Steve’s surgery went well with no complications. I sat with him before surgery for about forty-five minutes and he was already thanking me ahead of time for taking care of him during recovery.
If you’ve ever sent a loved one off to surgery, you know exactly how I was feeling as he disappeared behind those doors. I thought, “There goes my heart.”
It was wonderful to have Nathan and Meagan there when we got home.
I got a little misty-eyed watching Nathan help Steve . . .
because I had this photo in my mind. (It’s even the same walker.)
Oh, how the years go by.
I was extra thankful to have Nathan and Meagan’s help figuring out the medical paraphernalia. Directions never make sense to me.
This is a brace that holds a huge ice pack. A guy showed me how it all worked while Steve was in surgery; however, when I got home, I still had no clue. Once again, Nathan and Meagan’s logical brains came to the rescue. And when they went home, Steve was able to figure it out each time it was removed and put back on. His medication-laden brain is still better than my clear brain for that kind of stuff.
Nathan is always a very calming, compassionate presence, wherever he goes. On Saturday, Steve hit a very rough patch and Nathan and Meagan were such a strength to us both. (Gage had to work but he and Sarah stayed in close touch, reminding us of their love and support.)
Steve is making good progress, all in all, and is the very best patient, thanking me over and over for every small and big thing I do for him.
My sweet friend, Cheryl Denton, read on the blog that we had misplaced our Famous Family Birthday Hat. Lo and behold, the day before my birthday, a new one arrived in the mail, just in case the original hat was not found in time.
Thank you, Cheryl, for being so thoughtful. You and your hat truly made me smile. (The hat is posing with gifts from Lorrie, my friend of four decades.)
I actually did find the regular birthday hat and I did wear it for my birthday but—we forgot to take a picture!
After my party, Gage decided he wanted to have a photo taken in the hat since we were not able to locate it for his birthday last month. He looked all around to find just the right place for the photo and chose this one. Definitely a creative thinker, that guy!
Sarah made chocolate pretzel brownies which we topped with ice cream and hot fudge. Isn’t it pretty how she decorated the top of the pan? Another creative thinker, for sure. She and Gage are coming by tonight and she will bring dinner. So thankful for the two of them.
As it turns out, Nathan and Meagan were not able to make it to my birthday party after all. Noah was sick on Tuesday night so they didn’t want to leave him Wednesday. Thankfully, they were able to book new flights and landed in Charlotte Thursday morning.
Steve and I spent all day with them looking at houses hither and yon which was a fun adventure.
And good news!
A house came on the market Friday, they toured it Saturday, and their offer was accepted on Sunday. They close on March 31 and take possession of it on April 4. These folks don’t mess around.
We are so excited about this beautiful place Nathan and Meagan found for their family. It’s in Mooresville, about 30 minutes from our house.
Speaking of houses, ours is still set to close the first week of April. We just have some last-minute negotiating to do and some final repairs to see to.
it was time to head back to our home where Sarah and Gage were on hand to see Nathan and Meagan’s first reaction to the renovated house. They had the same sort of looks on their faces that Steve and I did when we first walked in after the walls had been removed and the new floors put in. It was basically like, “Wait. What? Where am I? What am I seeing? And why do I feel like the earth just shifted a little?”
Their grandparent’s house no longer looked the way it did for decades and then their parent’s furniture that they have seen in several different houses was spread out in a new way in the old, familiar/new, unfamiliar surroundings. They just kept looking around trying to acclimate themselves to everything being so different and yet seeing so many things that were the same.
Sarah brought a delicious crockpot dinner and after we ate, we all moved to the den. The den was a hard room to buy furniture for because it’s small, with a fireplace and three doors. But my vision was to find something that the whole family could all pile on together. It was a joy to see that vision come to pass Thursday night.
Meagan set up the camera to take a picture with a timer and then we all worked at making each other laugh
I always wanted two sons and two daughters and when we had two stop at two kids for medical reasons, I was disappointed. But lo and behold, I have still ended up with the two sons and two daughters I always wanted.
They have all four been such a strength to Steve and me during a difficult season of upheaval and transition. We love them beyond words.
there is one moment that especially stands out from the million memories we made this week.
Yesterday, I was helping Steve into the master bathroom with his walker. As he was coming out, he said he wanted to put his wedding ring back on. (He had to remove it for surgery.) I made sure he was standing securely and then went across the room to get the ring from the dresser drawer.
As I stood next to him while he put it back on, I thought of two things.
First: The place where we were standing was the exact spot Ken and Vernie stood 43 years ago when Steve and I popped our heads into their room to tell them we had just gotten engaged.
Second: I was thinking that when two people put the rings on each other’s fingers during a ceremony, they have no way of knowing what the years ahead will hold. It was actually more meaningful for me to stand in the bedroom with my recovering, unshaven, unwashed, post-surgical husband and help him put that ring on his finger than it was when we stood at the lovely altar in our finery all those years ago. This time around, the words, “For better or worse, in sickness and in health” had a whole different level of meaning.
He and I have weathered so much over the years; some of it blogged about, some of it not. But the million memories we’ve made all seemed to shrink down to that one small moment in the fading afternoon sunlight with him wobbling on his walker saying, “Honey, I miss my ring. I want to put it back on.”
And so the ring is on. Recovery and healing are coming along slowly.
We will have more storms to weather, and more adventures to enjoy. And a million more memories to make.
What a wonderful posting. There is so much to comment on – so will just say thanks to all for your help with Becky and Steve. The wonderful photos again. We are blessed to be included in all that is going on in your lives – thick and thin.
Sharyn,
I appreciate your encouraging comments. You’re a blessing!
So thankful for all the good things in this post. I hope by now Steve has turned a corner and is making BIG strides with no pain. How wonderful to have all the “big kids” in the house. I treasure those moments as it doesn’t happen as often as this mama would like.
So sorry about the additional expenses on the Manteo house. I know that is disheartening.
Your writing is so beautiful and I look forward to every Monday!
Suzanne,
It always makes me happy to hear that a reader looks forward to the Monday posts. Thanks for letting me know.
Here’s hoping Steve’s recovery rate improves greatly. So sorry to hear he was struggling. Staying ahead of the pain is so critical. Our family is an orthopedic surgeon’s dream and that was always the first thing we heard at hospital discharge, was to stay ahead of the pain, don’t wait to need the pain pills. The opioids are tempting but the sooner you can get rid of them, the better. Becky, you have my sympathy as a patient in pain is not fun!
What a bummer that you have to put more dollars into your old house. We had the exact same issue when we sold our home of 25 years twenty years ago. In our case, the new owners wanted the new septic system put in before we moved when it was really wet. We offered to give them the money to wait until later but they insisted. So they moved into a completely torn up, muddy yard that must have been a nightmare to get back to normal. Fingers crossed that you can finally get closed.
Liz,
Well, we’re on the same page when it comes to septic systems. We just found out that ours failed and it will be many thousands of dollars to replace before closing. Sigh.
I don’t know why your buyers weren’t willing to wait. I can’t imagine hauling furniture and belongs across a torn-up, muddy yard. Ick.
Not every family can say they are an orthopedic surgeon’s dream! 🙂 Hopefully you’ve got most of your surgeries behind you.
Smithellaneous friends, I must add that my wedding band only went on my finger after several grunts and groans accompanied by hand lotion. That’s the only place for my ring, on my finger but close to my heart.
Steve,
It was nice to see the ring back in is usual place. Love you!
Sorry the Florida, soon to be Charlotte, Smiths weren’t there for your birthday. Those brownies look delicious. Glad that Steve seems to be recovering well from his hip replacement surgery. My mom was in the hospital from Tuesday to Friday when she had hers then at a nursing home for 12 days for PT. But she was probably 15 years older than Steve and not as active as he is.
The house that Nathan and Meagan found looks great for their family. I bet you will be so glad to have them just across town rather than across several states. Sorry you are needing to make repairs at your Manteo house but it will be great to not have it to worry about anymore.
Phyllis,
Yes, we’re thrilled that we will have both kids and spouses within 30 minutes; Sarah and Gage to the south and Nathan and Meagan to the north.
Those brownies were delicious! Sarah has turned into quite the wonderful cook.
What a precious moment! I’m so happy all the kids were there with you guys.
Nathan and Meagan have a beautiful home to look forward to!! What a wonderfully exciting time!!
Lisa,
Yes, having all kids in the same room for a few hours was marvelous beyond words. And to think that there will be plenty more of that in the future made it all the better.
So glad Steve is coming along. I understand his impatience as I broke my leg in January and I’ve tried to do a little more each day without overdoing. Its a fine line. I have been reminded that it doesn’t so much matter how fast you go but more that you are going in the right direction. I am sure he will be up and back at it before long and most importantly pain free!!
Lesley,
Oh dear. I’m so sorry to hear about your leg. I know it’s been a challenge to care for Sarah when you’ve had difficulty getting around.
Recover definitely is a slow, slow process although I’m happy that Steve is so much more mobile than he was even four days ago. We went out in the car yesterday to run an errand and that wore him slap out. Lots of resting going on.
Becky, you have such a beautiful way with words! I am so glad to see that Steve’s surgery went well. I was away from my computer for a few days so hadn’t caught up on how he did. You are so blessed to have such a wonderful family! Continued prayers for an uncomplicated, speedy recovery for Steve! I loved the birthday hat as well. 😊
LeeAnne,
Thank you for your encouragement.
We’re grateful he did well with the surgery and are now strapping in for the recovery part of the process. It’s comforting to know it won’t last forever!
Very good, Bec.
I agree with all Deb said.
Love the last part about the ring thing.
Steadfast-longsuffering-
we all need it.
And that bit of Steve being thankful for your care–
An excellent husband.
Ruth
Ruth,
Yes, Steve is definitely an excellent husband; I’ve never been thanked more in my life than in the last four days!
Glad you enjoyed the ring story; it was definitely a special moment in which to remember and look forward.
Well, this post sure got to me. Made me all sniffly🥲
You have, as you always do, eloquently conveyed so much of all that holds our lives together through your words and photos: God’s care and provision, family love and laughter, the richness of family heritage, the cherishing of and caring for one another that is passed on from one generation to the next, unfaltering marital love and commitment, the miracles of daily life, big and small, some we see and some we never do. Yet we somehow know that they happened.
God has given you a great gift in your writing and photography. And that in turn is a great gift to us, your readers! Thank you.
I am so very thankful for Steve’s successful surgery, that your kids were there to help and encourage and that your couch is a perfect fit for family and laughter, for Nathan and Meagan’s beautiful house, for the almost sale of your house, for the new/old family home you and Steve have worked so hard to create there. I loved the account of Nathan and Meagan walking around trying to take in the newness and the changes wrapped up in the familiar.
Also, I think I could become very fond of Sarah’s pretzel brownies. I mean like, Y.U.M! Gage’s birthday hat photo was hilarious and the new birthday hat looked fab on you! 🙂
Love to all the amazing Smiths and Longs!
Deb
Deb,
I’m not sure why you’re not writing a blog. Such a well-thought-out, well-written, heartfelt comment. I especially enjoyed the line about “The miracles of daily life, big and small, some we see and some we never do. Yet we somehow know that they happened.” So beautiful. So true.
I am also grateful that Steve’s surgery went well. He is making good progress every day and is determined to be more independent with every passing hour. Can’t wait till the days come when he can walk and bike again without pain.
Seconding that notion! You should try your hand at blogging, Aunt Debbie! 😊
Sarah–you tell ‘er! 🙂
Heal well Steve, Bill had his hip replaced and though he didn’t live much longer it made a world of difference! I expect you will have the same experience. I’m sure Nurse Becky is doing a fine job taking care of you!
Cindy,
Glad the hip replacement was a positive experience for Bill. Steve is looking forward to making good use of his brand new hip!
Hi Becky, a few things to comment on: First I am amazed Steve walked on his own that first day…it took me a few days and I hope he is feeling better….second….I think I told you my cousin’s daughter lives in the Charlotte area, well it turns out they live in Mooresville. They are about Nathan and Meagan’s ages and have 2 girls, Emma I believe is 11 and Lily 8….they are the sweetest couple and if Nathan and Meagan need to connect with another young family and have any questions about the area, the schools, the churches, I know Charlene and Dan would definitely like to help. Please don’t hesitate to ask me for their info…..Their new house looks beautiful and the area is so great for young families.
Dale,
Thanks for the offer of the contact info; I emailed you.
I don’t know if you had the surgery where they went in through the front or from the back. From the front, they always get the patient up and walking on the same day. That just amazes me! He’s been trying his best to take strolls around the house every day and build strength and flexibility.
Becky, I continue to read your beautiful journal. Each entry touches me personally and spiritually, especially your photos. You are an artist in so many ways. Prayers and thoughts for recovery and for many many more memories shared or not. Thank you.
Mary,
Why hello there. So good to see your name! 🙂
Thank you for your sweet words about my writing and photos. I feel very blessed to have people to share those with–special people like you!
This whole post makes my heart happy and puts tears in my eyes.
You have such a beautiful family. You are blessed to have them all in the same area. My son is in Cincinnati and my daughter, son in law, three grands (Ethan, Toban and Eloise) are in Kingston Ontario Canada. They are growing up fast without us. And that makes my heart hurt and puts tears in my eyes.
Here’s praying Steve continues to improve and all is well in the Smith world!
Buff
Buff,
I never dreamed I would end up in the same area as my children; could never have planned it but am grateful for it. Ontario is such a long way away. I hope you will have a chance to see your sweet family before too much longer. I know about the hurting heart and teary eyes when family is just too far away. Hugs.
Hey Steve and Becky! Praying for both of you all! God Speed!! Love y’all very much! Take care Catherine.
Catherine,
Good to hear from you! Blessings to you and your sweet family.
Happy belated birthday! 🙂
I’m with you on that ice pack contraption. I’m not spatially gifted, so I’d never be able to figure it out either! Hope Steve’s recovery is moving along.
Looks like N&M found a nice home – and good luck with the repairs/negotiations on your Manteo house. We ended up giving a lot of $$ at closing rather than making any repairs, mainly because our buyer wanted to close two weeks after the offer!
Stefanie,
Ah. Spatially gifted. That’s the phrase I’m looking for. That’s the phrase I am not.
Turns out we are going to have to sink another $7,000 into the house because the drain field failed. Oh happy day!
Oh no! I hate that for you – our old house also had sewer issues (we gave $6k at closing towards that problem) too. Those underground/hidden problems are always an unwelcome surprise!