Today’s post is all about a young lady born twenty-three years (and 4 days) ago.
On Sarah’s birthday, Steve made her breakfast in bed . . .
and took her out for lunch.
For her birthday dinner, I prepared the main dish and the cake she requested. I have been baking this deep dark chocolate cake for 25 years; this time around, I got a little fancy with a cookie cutter design on top.
I even bought new candles for the occasion. Most of the time our cakes have recycled birthday candles but this time around, I sprung for some new ones. Sarah dubbed them the “unrecycled birthday candles” and then said, “That would be a good title for a blog post.”
(You see what I named this blog, don’t you?)
Three days before her birthday celebration, she flew to Charlotte to visit her grandparents. They had a little birthday dinner for her while she was there–the picture below includes her grandparents, uncle, cousin and great-nephew. (It was her grandma’s idea to do spirit fingers.) So fun!
Sarah has flown at least half a dozen time over the years; her first flight was when she was just 1 week old and flew (with me) from Duluth, MN to Charlotte, NC, However, she has never flown by herself so it was an extra fun adventure for her.
Unfortunately, two days before her trip, she found out that the hotel where we normally pay to park when we fly out of Norfolk had changed its policy and now only allows people to park who are staying at the hotel.
She considered other options for a few minutes and then said, “Do you think it would be okay if I asked Fred and Lucy to let me park at their house and see if they would drive me to the airport?
These pictures show you the answer to that question.
We actually met Fred and Lucy through the blog; they live about five minutes from Regent. Steve and Sarah have both visited their home and I got to meet them in person last summer when they were in Manteo. They are the sweetest people and have always said that Sarah needed anything at all, to not hesitate to call. It was so wonderful that they let Sarah park with them and chauffeured her to and from the airport.
You can hardly tell she is related to me in this picture because this is ALL the luggage she took for a four-day trip.
She loved the rocking chairs in the Washington/Baltimore airport and had plenty of time during a layover to just hang out. (Or should I say, “rock out.”)
My traveling girl!
The only slightly traumatic part of the trip was on the way home and she was going through security. The person doing the x-ray called her out of line and asked to look at her foot/ankle area to see if there might be anything odd in her clothing. They felt around and didn’t find anything. They asked if she had any pain there. Sarah asked them why and they replied that “something odd” was showing up on the x-ray.
Well, don’t you know that when Sarah told me that little story my cancer mom antennae went straight up. I emailed her oncologist and he said it wouldn’t hurt to get an x-ray just to check it out.
So the very first thing my brave girl did on the morning of her 23rd birthday was to drive herself to the doctor for an x-ray knowing that cancer relapse is always a possibility at any point in her life. She said she had to wait a long time for the results which made her even more worried but when the doctor finally came out, he said nothing showed up and it must have been a “random weird occurrence.” I’ll take the medical diagnosis RWO over a worrisome spot any day of the week.
Sarah got her 5-year pin at Food Lion, which is pretty good for someone who is only 23 years old. I added the most recent picture to her lineup; it starts on the far left in 2013.
She is actually going for an interview today at a Food Lion near her college; it would be nice to keep the Food Lion streak going.
And speaking of college. . . . oh my. It’s hard to believe the time has come for her to start her senior year. This was taken Saturday morning as we were getting read to load up.
Her “man with the nose” coffee mug made it into one of the boxes. If I was a coffee mug, this is exactly how my face would look–bewildered and wondering, “How can she be 23 already and moving away from home?”
Sarah recruited her dad to wrestle various items into her and our cars . . .
and then we were off to Regent to get her moved into her new digs.
As an upperclassman, she has moved from the on campus dorms to Regent University apartments, which are a 5-minute walk from the school. She shares the 2-bedroom apartment with Becca, her roommate from last year, and Toni, a new roommate.
She has her own closet and dresser in a bedroom larger than the one she had to share with two people last year.
Still unpacking but this gives you an idea of what it looks like.
As always, the time to leave her behind came too quickly.
After the last hug, I got in the car and immediately burst into tears. You would think this would get easier after a while, but it doesn’t.
After returning to Manteo, I did a couple of hours of work at the church and then came home, sat on the couch and dissolved into a sputtering mess of tears all over again. Just when I’d think I had it together, something else would set me off and away I’d go again.
Steve lovingly comforted me and then made me a cheese omelet since I hadn’t had dinner. What more could a girl ask from a husband than comfort and cheese? He is a good, good man.
Yesterday I was still a little teary when I was telling people at church that I had dropped her off so imagine my delight when she texted to say that she had forgotten her social security card and needed it for a job interview. That meant I got to meet her halfway (about an hour away) to give it to her.
We sat in the car for over an hour for some sweet and miscellaneous mama/daughter chitchat. It soothed my soul to see her looking good and feeling positive about the beginnings of her senior year.
I have to say though, that I still feel emotional from time to time, especially when seeing a picture like this–my formerly little girl, headed into her apartment, deftly juggling schedule, school, job, friendships, and all the accoutrements of adulthood.
I’ll close with a picture I took on Friday night before our leavetaking on Saturday. She and I and Summer sat on the couch together and watched an episode of The Great British Baking Show which is “our” show.
Those are always some of my favorite times, laughing and talking about what’s happening on the screen, petting the dog, basking in the silence and the peace and the companionship of a love forged over 23 years.
Tonight she will be sitting in a room with other people, other non-mom people. Her car will be parked outside an apartment in another city, not in our driveway in quaint little Manteo.
She will get up in the morning and make her coffee in a kitchen with two people who aren’t her dad and me. And when I feel a hankering to watch an episode of British Baking Show, she won’t be there to sit with a forlorn Summer and me on the couch.
Seasons. It’s what life is all about.
But more than that, life is about love and it is love that carries us through each season, wiping our tears, soothing our sorrow. When children leave and when children return, love holds our hand and reminds us of the memories we have made and the memories yet to be created.
Darling girl, these twenty-three years have gone by in a blink. They have brought you to the beginning of this newest chapter, the beginning of the rest of your life
Every time I see this poem by Eric Hanson I think of you. And then I cry.
Love you always.
What a small world…one of my former high school classmates is on the faculty at Regent. I went to school with Dr. Stephen Perry, I believe he’s director of graduate programs in communications at Regent now. Very nice guy, haven’t seen him since our last class reunion some years ago!
Melissa,
How cool is that? Since Sarah is taking Communications, I’m sure she is at least familiar with Dr. Perry’s name, although his being director of graduate programs would take him out of her sphere a little.
I love that the world isn’t as big as we sometimes think it is.
You know, Becky, Sarah was born to the two most perfect parents for her. You both have quietly and lovingly helped her move forward into the world of adulthood. Being that she is one of the kids that needed a longer runway, and now she is confidently striving forward, it is due to the sensitive parents she has and their ability to read her comfort levels, support when needed and hang back when she is flying solo. Not that you need to be told, but you have done an awesome job. The proof is in the pudding, as hard as it is to adjust to the successful outcome. Hugs.
PS I love the birthday cake picture, but where’s the hat? LOL
Lesley,
Thank you for your sweet words. I loved that you used one of my favorite phrases for Sarah, that she has needed “a longer runway” than Nathan. Every child has different runway needs and there’s no good trying to force a child to take off from a runway that is not their own.
You nailed it when you said to “support when needed and hang back when she is flying solo.” Knowing the difference, and knowing when to speak/act and NOT speak/act is one of the toughest parts of parenting an adult child, as I’m sure you know, having two fine children of your own. I don’t think anyone second guesses themselves as much as parents.
So sorry about that hat! My middle-aged brain didn’t think about it till after the meal was all over. 🙂
Happy Happy Belated Birthday to Sarah!! My stomach lurched when I read your line “…something on the x-ray” I am so thankful her doctor determined it was nothing. Wishing her a great senior year and you some comfort for your “Mama’s heart”.
Sue Ellen,
My stomach lurched too, as soon as she said those words! A great relief to have it be nothing.
Thanks for caring enough to “lurch” on our behalf. 🙂
I am very late in wishing that dear young lady a Happy Birthday, but even though late, I can tell it was a great day for her. Am so thankful for the years the Lord has given her – to do things I’m sure you and Steve wondered if she would be able to do – such as going to college – and now it is her last year. My heart is filled with happiness for you Becky, Steve, and rest of the family for staying close to the Lord during the struggles Sarah and yourselves have gone through. Sarah, God bless and keep you staying true to His word and live for Him. May He give you many more years.
Sharyn,
What an encouraging, uplifting comment; thank you for taking the time to express such beautiful thoughts.
We feel blessed being able to see her go to college when so many other cancer kids never made it that far. We can’t wait to see what she ends up doing with her life!
Oh Becky, I was the exact same way when my kids were going back to college each year. I shed SO many tears, and no, it did NOT get easier. :'(
Sarah is just beautiful and her confidence shines! I’m sorry she had that scare….I wonder what they saw?? All the best to her in her senior year and big wishes (belated) for a happy, happy birthday! No picture of her in the birthday hat?? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. 🙂
LeeAnne,
I KNEW I was gonna get it from my readers when I forgot that hat! 🙂
Isn’t it crazy that it doesn’t get any easier as our kids go through college? I would think by the senior year, I would be completely unaffected but nope. Still needed that Kleenex box. Glad someone can relate!
Sarah has nice fashion sense. I often admire her clothing choices. I’m glad she’s feeling good about her upcoming year.
Thank you, Ellen!
She mostly shops at thrift stores and manages to make everything she wears looks nice.
I love your writing. And happy birthday to Sarah. I am so impressed that despite all she has been through, she is doing so well. I wish we heard more about her in the blog but I understand that she has her own life now which is what we all want for her.
Blue Rose of TX,
I love that name, by the way!
And I am so touched that you would say that you love my writing; that encourages me so much. I have spent thousands of hours writing over my lifetime because I want to connect with people through words. Thank for letting me know I am accomplishing that goal.
I would like to write about Sarah more too, but now that she is out and about and living her adult life, it’s a little harder. Trust me, though. If anything interesting/important happens in her life, you will read about it here!
Tears came into my eyes too, as I read your blog and looked at your wonderful photos. I told Sarah as she left, “I’m sure you know that you are so incredibly blessed to have parents who are so…” and I couldn’t find the words. She just smiled and said, “I know.”
We are so proud of Sarah. Thank you for the miracle of letting us be a small part of your family’s life. (I just realized that I don’t know how to add an emoji.) Oh well, “heart.”
Fred,
What a sweet comment and what a wonderful act of kindness to be so willing to ferry Sarah hither and yon on her adventure.
God did a good job when he made you and Lucy–and an even BETTER job when he put the two of you together!
That cake looks delicious. It’s always nice to have friends nearby that can help out a college student – or any young person – if they need it. I’m sure Fred and Lucy were thrilled to help Sarah out. Best of luck to Sarah in her last year of college. Her apartment looks nice.
Phyllis,
Yes, it is a joy to help out young people who need it. We older people have done a little living and accrued a few blessings and it’s just nice to be able to pass on wisdom and assistance in whatever way it is needed.
Such a nice apartment. I know Sarah will enjoy it. May this senior year be a happy, safe, healthy and great year for her and y’all. Need to text new mailing address. Missed the birthday hat this year. ?. Difficult to believe she is 23 years old!!!
Hi Ann,
I will send you new address.
I remembered the hat after the fact. Oops!
Twenty-three is going to be a good year for that gal of ours.
This blog is perfectly timed for me. Don’t you love how God does that? I dropped our oldest off for kindergarten this morning and I’m still crying! I realize it is a completely different rite of passage but I share your Momma heart today and it was good for my soul to read your words. Both of our girls will fly! Thanks for sharing so my heart could be warmed.
Oh Courtney,
How my mama heart relates to your feelings of seeing your little girl take that big first step away from you. Whether they are embarking on kindergarten or college, that goodbye feeling never changes. I like to look at it as a little barometer of the love we have for them. A piece of our heart will accompany their every step.
Always happy to see your name pop up here. Blessings to you and your family.
Sarah is going to be amazing this year, and when she graduates you are sure to shed more tears, but she’ll rock it, of course. Whatever she does in this world she will be amazing at it, and she will do it because all of you who have been in her life through it all. She is an incredibly lucky woman, and you all are incredibly lucky. Honestly, I can’t wait to see what she does next, of course I’m biased and I’d love to see her go to grad school and do research because I just think what her mind could explore… it just brings this professor’s mind a lot of joy. 🙂
Brooke,
If it weren’t so costly, I know Sarah would be interested in studying a whole lot of things. But unless a cloud of money dropped from the sky, this will be end of the road for her.
Of course she is like me, a life-time learner. She is curious about a lot of things and is always studying, reading, looking something up. It’s a good way to live life.
Thanks for the example of YOUR life demonstrating to young women coming after you the importance of gaining knowledge and taking that knowledge and making it count. You inspire me!
Oh Becky, I just love your blogs. You have a way with words. And now I sit here in tears and my little fella is only at daycare a mile away. It’s funny, tho. When I dropped him off this morning, I was a bit happy to see him go. We had a tough weekend and we needed a break from each other. And now, I’m missing him lots! But, he will NEVER be old enough to go to college, so I’m glad for that =)
And what a great Daddy Sarah has…to make her breakfast in bed.
You are surely Blessed!!
Krista,
Thank you for encouraging words; I’m so glad to know you enjoy all things Smithellaneous!
I know what it’s like to feel like you need a break and then when the kid is gone you’re like, “Wait! I need him back! Right now!” 🙂 Tears are just a part of being a mama–all those tears born out of love.
Blessings to you and your little guy today.
Oh dear, I’m all teary up here in WI. Our kids leaving stinks. Loved the pics of Sarah’s new digs and of course of the magnificent young lady herself! ? I’m sorry you all had to deal with the X-ray scare. No fun at all. Glad the Dr pronounced it to be weird and random. (Which is also a pretty accurate description of me). Love you Smiths! Sure wish we could come for a visit. Sigh. Love, Deb
Deb,
Thanks for being teary on our behalf. And yes, kids leaving is tough, tough, tough. And yet on the other hand, you are also proud of them and so excited! So definitely a dichotomy.
You know we have a bedroom just waiting for you if you want to point your vehicle in this direction! Love to all.
Well, here I am tearing up half an hour before my first class of the day. Thank you for your sweet words, Mom; you always put so much thought and love into them, that I can feel your hugs from 88 miles away.
Sarah,
It always makes me so happy to see a comment from an actual child of mine show up here. 🙂
The reason you can feel my hugs is because I am sending them constantly. I am a hug-emitting machine!
Glad your first day has gone well. Love you much.
An absolutely beautiful tribute, perfect words as usual. I am sitting here in NC now, crying and missing my son in Kansas!!! I hope she has a wonderful year.
Dale,
Isn’t it so hard to have those kids of ours far away? And yet, when I think about it, it does make the reunions all the sweeter. There’s that. (But I STILL cry!)
Dearest Becky, You paint magnificent pictures using words. Hugs to you and Blessings on Sarah’s senior year. (Love the comparison pictures. She has truly blossomed!). ?
Sheri,
Hello, dear lady! Yes, I agree, Sarah has definitely bloomed from that first picture five years ago. It’s amazing how those transformations happen so gradually that you don’t even notice until you look back at a string of pictures.
Your girls have certainly turned into gorgeous women!
Love you!