Steve’s Frantic Stir-Fry

August 10, 2017

Steve does not do a great deal of cooking but he can whip up scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, popcorn, salads and stuff on the grill.  (Incidentally, he makes a much better omelet than I do.)

One of his favorite foods to eat is stir-fry and since I am not quite as enthusiastic about that dish as he is, he always volunteers to do all the chopping and cooking himself.  

The one thing he is adamant about in the preparing of stir-fry is that the food must be in one’s mouth precisely 1.4 seconds after it leaves the pan or all is lost. 

Hence, Sarah and I have jokingly dubbed his recipe, Steve’s Frantic Stir-Fry. The bread, rice and chicken (that was cooked a few minutes earlier and kept warm in the oven) must be timed down to the millisecond. When Steve hollers, “Stir-fry is done” and begins his dash to the table with pan in hand, Sarah and I must be doubly and triply sure that all other food is on the table and ready for the most immediate of consumption. 

It makes for quite the energy-filled dinner environment, what with various Smiths darting around in sundry directions while juggling assorted items of soon-to-be consumed culinariness.

But it’s always worth it for the end result.  Does that not look good?  (And don’t even ask me how I was able to steal the two extra seconds it took to get this picture.)

It is our custom to pray before our meals but Sarah and I know the Stir-Fry Prayer has to be extra, extra short so as not to add any unnecessarily lengthy nanoseconds to the delay in eating.

We are talking about a perfectly timed production here, folks.  

Because my nerves are not what they once were, we only do Steve’s Frantic Stir-Fry four or five times a year.  Despite all the drama contained within, it is still a fun and exhilarating undertaking–at least for the humans in the house.  I am not sure that Summer is overly impressed with all the stomping and shouting and sprinting that precedes the eating of the aforementioned repast but she courageously hunkers down and rides it out.

In the past we have done a vegetarian stir-fry but last night we added chicken breasts prepared in this marinade which is also incredibly delicious on pork chops.  (Never tried it on steak but I’m sure it would be equally wonderful.) 

It only took about five minutes for the chicken to get done since I cut it into bite-sized pieces before cooking.  After it was nicely browned, I put it in a low to oven to keep warm, leaving the pan for Steve to start his stirring and frying and frantic-ing.

The chicken was a fabulous addition to the meal and serving it separately meant that everyone could choose their meat to veggie ratio. (Or go totally vegetarian, if so desired.)

Before I close out this scintillating stir-fry essay, Steve and I need to garner some opinions from all you great cooks out there.  

Since we don’t do stir-fry real often and have never spent a great deal of time studying, pondering or doing dissertations on the subject, we need your input.

And I guess the most important question would be: what is your world record for getting the food from the pan to the table?  

Whatever it is, I am pretty sure that Steve can beat it.

We don’t call it Steve’s Frantic Stir-Fry for nothing!

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19 comments so far.

19 responses to “Steve’s Frantic Stir-Fry”

  1. Jodi says:

    Please do me a favor and ignore all the errors. It’s 4:30am and I’ve been up since 11p (I fell asleep around 10p and was up by 11p and couldn’t go back to sleep. INSOMNIA is not FUN; my last decent night was on Thursday, April 14, 2011! Thankfully, my weighted blanket should be delivered this week. I’m hopeful. I also see a sleep/health Psy.d starting on September 7th.

    POPCORN? Steve likes POPCORN? And for all the years I’ve been following your family…….(16+**) I didn’t think he ate (NOR LIKED) POPCORN. LOL! J/K! My dad LOVES to grill also. In fact (you know what state I live in) so you know all about our weather (especially, winter), And, Dad is out there roughly 5 nights a week ALL YEAR ROUND. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT! HE’S OUT THERE FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK (ALL YEAR). Before I got sick, I’d of loved for Steve to make me Stir Fry ( vegetarian though). Have a great week Smith Family. Sarah, I left you that message. ***Becky, I was talking to a friend (a disabled RN nurse) about the disgusting LACK of money that goes towards childhood cancer (3-5%, right) and she was shocked. Even more so that if 10 million is donated to the ACS that only that small % goes towards peds and that’s what Sarah is even more amazing. So, all that to ask for you Sarah’s CB address? Thank you so much. Love you you guys.

    • Becky says:

      Jodi,

      I am sorry about your chronic insomnia; there are FEW things more frustrating. Here’s hoping that dreamier nights are on your horizon. I’m glad you are taking some good steps to address the problem.

      Steve is an absolute popcorn fanatic; I don’t think a day ever goes by that he doesn’t have some. He pops it the old-fashioned way on the stove top.

      Your dad is pretty brave to grill in the middle of the winter. I’m impressed!

      Sarah’s CB is caringbridge.org/nc/sarahsmith Just a note on that; the place that hosted her pictures (photobucket) recently changed the deal to $400 a year instead of free. Since I am not paying that, all the photos on the site are gone.

  2. Sharyn McDonald says:

    Stir fry – well, any veggies I pull out of the freezer or frig. goes into a stir fry. Love sesame oil to go into the sauce. Since we had been on that diet, my husband’s been the main breakfast getter – oatmeal! He puts in difference things to make it taste sooo good. One of my favorites is cherries and chocolate – he calls it Black Forest Oatmeal. Looks like Steve is truly a stir fry guy. Had to chuckle over the time. Keep doing what you’re doing tho’ Steve – it won’t replace your ministry, but maybe it’s in 3rd place – so many other things are tied for 2nd!

    • Becky says:

      Sharyn,

      Black Forest Oatmeal. Sounds very exotic and delicious. What form is the chocolate in?

      I have oatmeal every morning, too. Love it!

  3. Steve says:

    I’m feeling vindicated by knowing that there are other frenzied stir fryers in the world. Frantic Fryers Unite!

  4. Phyllis says:

    I don’t really stir-fry. To be honest, I don’t cook a lot period since it’s just me. I can cook and do the family Christmas and Thanksgiving meals.
    Funny story about men cooking – My dad, who is 91 today, does not cook at all. He can make his oatmeal in the morning, fix a sandwich and maybe warm something in the microwave but that’s about it. One time when I had gone to their house, my mom and I went somewhere – think it was Springfield. When we got home, my mom asked him if he’d found something to eat. Yeah, I found a can of beef broth. So now anytime we leave him, we tell him there’s beef broth.

    • Becky says:

      Phyllis,

      I love family jokes that become a part of the family history and lore. It’s like a sort of short hand where you can just say one phrase and everyone “in the know” just cracks up.

      “Beef broth” is definitely a good example. Love it!

  5. Guerrina Hernandez says:

    I don’t stir-fry often, but usually it’s onion, broccoli, pea pods, bell peppers, and water chestnuts …most often frozen and without defrosting them. My favorite add-ins are shrimp, beef, or chicken.

    If just for me, I skip the rice. To me the veggies and rice are dressing for the protein! Yeah, I’m the carnivore/pescavore (is that a word?)! 🙂

    • Becky says:

      Guerrina,

      I’m afraid this is where we have to part ways. 🙂 In my opinion, rice is the best part of the stir-fry!

      I had never heard of the word pescavore so I looked it up. Thanks for adding to my vocabulary.

  6. Kathy S says:

    My husband makes the stir fry also and he is just like Steve, he has it timed to the second and is telling us when to be ready! We use shrimp or chicken plus carrots, broccoli, onion, pea pods, celery, peppers, whatever we find in the veggie drawer!

    • Becky says:

      Kathy.

      Hmmm. Pea pods would be an intersting addition. We’ll have to try those.

      Glad Steve isn’t the only husband who is speedy with his stir-fry!

  7. That looks yummy!

    Mike cooks, and also does a mean stirfry! He uses sesame oil, and we load the pan with veggies: broccoli, carrots, onions, peppers, cauliflower, water chestnuts, whatever else is on-hand. 🙂

    When does Sarah head back to University?

    • Becky says:

      Stefanie,

      Hooray for husbands who cook!

      Sarah goes back in 10 days; I think it’s on the 20th. She will be gone almost all of next week (more about that in a blog post) so the hours are growing shorter.

  8. Ann Draper Martin says:

    Rarely stir fry. Use frozen package when I do. Add chicken or beef to it. Steve is quite a chef there.

    • Becky says:

      Ann,

      I think frozen veggies are the ticket if you want stir-fry in a hurry. I don’t know why I never thought of those before.

  9. LeeAnne says:

    We like broccoli, water chestnuts, red pepper, onion, zucchini and carrots and I use EVOO. (When I’m in a hurry, I use the frozen stir fry veggies that are already cut up. The mix with asparagus is really good!) Carrots first, then zucchini and then the rest. The meat is usually chicken but thinly sliced beef is yummy too.
    I can get food on the table pretty darn quick if I have to and could probably give Steve a run for his money. 🙂 We usually have a lot going on so I like to get supper and dishes done and move on. 🙂

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      Thanks for the tip on using frozen veggies; that is very good to keep in mind since chopping everything can be a bit time consuming. And I wholeheartedly agree about the water chestnuts; love that crunch!

      I don’t think I would want to stand in your way when you’re getting a meal on the table. Sounds like you got some speedy skills! 🙂

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      One question–do you thaw the veggies first or put them in pan frozen?

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