One Sarah To Go

August 17, 2016

Although I usually do only two posts a week, so many of you have been interested in Sarah’s first day of college that I didn’t want you to have to wait until Friday for the whole story.  Am I not such a nice blogger?

So let’s get started!

This is the sight that greeted me when I came downstairs Monday morning. (The baby gate is for the dog, not Sarah.) 

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Loading it all up . . .

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and being happy it all fit.

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Here she is–the Official College Student!

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Steve  did his Daddy Duties and checked the oil and the tire pressure.

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Before Sarah pulled out, we not only took the prerequisite selfie . . .

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we also took the selfie that consisted of one of us oldsters pointing at the screen and saying, “Is this where we look?”

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Even though we actually do know where to look, it has become a family joke.

Dad and Daughter.

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Mom and Daughter.  

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The tears are starting.

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Sarah decided that she would like to make the whole 2-hour drive by herself so the plan was for her to leave thirty minutes earlier than us to give herself time to stop by Walmart on the way to pick up a few last-minute items for the dorm.

Steve and I stood together in the driveway and watched her pull out. 

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Even though we knew we’d see her again in just a couple of hours, there was still a definite finality to this particular leave-taking.

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This is a sight that parents of adult children everywhere can relate to–the pulling away from the house, the leaving behind of the childhood years. Tears, tears, and more tears.

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After Steve and I had been on the road about half an hour (after having waited the designated amount of time to leave the house), we got a text from Sarah saying she was stuck in a long line at Walmart. Since we were just about to pass Walmart, we didn’t want to continue to drive, because then we would get to the college before she would.

So we stopped at a nearby Goodwill for a few minutes to give her a chance to finish her shopping and get ahead of us. As it turns out, we didn’t give her quite enough time because an hour later Steve said, “Look! There she is!”

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My heart just leaped when I saw my little girl trundling bravely and merrily along–in her own car, on her own path, to her own future.  

Steve and I did a little lollygagging to ensure that she would arrive before we did. When we finally pulled onto the campus, I got my first glimpse of her dorm. (Steve and Sarah had been to the dorm on an earlier visit.)

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As we entered her room, we saw that her resident adviser had made door signs for all the girls on her hall.  Is that not cool?

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Some helpful young men assisted us in getting her belongings up to the 4th floor. She is in a 3-person dorm with a living room  . . .

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bedroom . . .

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and full kitchen. (There is also a laundry facility and a gym on the first floor.)

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I love the fact that Regent strongly encourages its students to eat in the cafeteria as little as possible and instead, make budgets, shop for groceries, and cook for themselves. That way when they graduate from college, they will have those important life skills firmly in hand. 

Sarah sent me the kitchen pictures this morning since I had forgotten to take any. I was impressed to see the white board on the refrigerator door and a line up of this week’s meals already planned. Here is the menu:

Sounds like she is not going to go hungry!  

I’m sure the three girls will have fun exchanging recipes and learning all sorts of cooking tips from each other.  I sent Sarah off with at least twenty main dishes she knows how to make so she will be well able to contribute to the cooking duties.

Speaking of food, after Sarah had gotten everything moved into her room, we drove to the nearest Chick-Fil-A for lunch. As we were standing in line, Sarah asked Steve to put her new keys on her key ring–a key to her mailbox and a key to her room.

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I looked at those keys and thought of all they represented: a whole new life with new freedoms and greater independence–and no mama around.  Of course, I got choked up all over again.

It was right about that time that Sarah leaned over and said, “Mom, what are you getting?”  

Without thinking I instantly replied, “I would like to get one Sarah–to go.

She said, “Awww, Mom” and grabbed my hand while we both shed some more tears.

After lunch, we went back to the college for a few minutes . . .

IMG_5513  and then it was time for the goodbye. 

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And it was time to pray . . .

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over our sweet girl.

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There is no hall in the entire world any longer than the hall that leads away from your child’s first college dorm. Every step emphasizes the reality that you have just bid farwell to a child who will never again be the same.

Freedom, independence and new experiences so quickly transform a living-at-home young adult into a different person.  Although I will feel nostalgic for the old version of Sarah, I can’t wait to meet the person Sarah will grow into at Regent.

Steve and I were utterly exhausted when we got into our car for the trip home. There was so much adrenaline, joy, excitement, anxiety, tears, pride, and laughter all stirred and blended into one short day.  

As we drove, Steve told me that it felt so different dropping a daughter off at college as opposed to a son; he said all he could think about was how much he wanted to stay and protect her. And I think it was also harder for us both because of all the pain and trauma we went through during her cancer treatment.

Nathan has always been more of an independent person than Sarah, going to Ecuador in High School, leaving for college (9 hours away) at age 17, and spending a semester in Jerusalem while at college.

But although Sarah’s runway was longer than Nathan’s, she is taking off from home at exactly the right time for her–I truly believe she is more than ready for this new adventure.

She just called me while I was writing this post, talking as she walked across campus to her first activity of the day. She was full of news and anecdotes and I listened to her sweet, familiar voice with joy.

Two days down–a whole future to go.

P.S.  We had a very special meeting with a very special someone while we were at Regent; I’ll share that story in the next post.

 

 

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46 comments so far.

46 responses to “One Sarah To Go”

  1. Lizz says:

    I was fine during this whole post until the photo of you hugging Sarah while both of you were crying. Then the tears came. Princess Groovy Chick sure has come an incredibly long way hasn’t she? She has seen and experienced more than any of us should ever have to as well as all the “normal” things too. I’m so beyond thrilled that she is growing up and going off on her own adventure through life, but still a part of me is sad for her Momma & Daddy. I know y’all have raised her well and shown her the way. You’ve given her all the skills she needs to start out on her own and I know she is going to be wonderful. It’s coming up so fast for my own 2 babies. I already cry thinking about them going off to college. I have no idea how I’m ever going to let them go!

    • Becky says:

      Lizz,

      Yes, that picture gets to me everytime I look at it!

      You will have a similar picture when your first one leaves for college and you will treasure those same tears together.

      Thanks for taking the time to leave such a sweet comment.

  2. mrs pam says:

    adding more tears to those already shed….

    Regent sounds like an amazing and wonderful college. I know Sarah will thrive in that environment, and will leave many “treadable” footsteps for both fellow and future students.

    QUITE an impressive home away from home!

  3. cath young says:

    Done this 5 times and it still makes me tear up. Mine went far, far away, however.

    Usually, colleges want freshmen to eat in the cafeterias the first year to get to know each other better and also be able to focus on their school work and adjustment. The apartments, suites with kitchens tend to be for upperclassmen who already have gone through that rite of passage. Sarah is a tranfer student, already an upperclassmen, so that might be the reason she is not in the “freshmen dorms” as they are often called at the colleges as they do often just offer a shared room with communal bathrooms even.

    My dear friend whose daughter transferred and so went into an apartment setting for her second college was so so worried that missing that communal freshman experience would be an issue for her daughter, but it was not one bit. Her daughter preferred having the apartment and getting to fix her own meals. For females, who tend to eat a lot less than males (certainly my guys who eat gangbusters!), the all you can eat concept is not a good deal. It balances and subsidizes the cost of the heavy eaters. I know I’m not complaining about the board bill for my son who eats easily as much as two average people. He has full dining privileges and still racks up food bills for in between, late night, and going out munching. I often see the women in the dining halls with just a yogurt and a bit of salad and cringe at the thought of what the parents are paying for that meal. My son will have several plates loaded and go for seconds, thirds, and dessert.

    Best wishes to sweet Sarah, and to you, the empty nester.

    • Becky says:

      Cath,

      You are a brave woman for going through this five times. I don’t think my little ol’ self could bear it any more after just two times!

      That’s an intersting point about the all you can eat meal tickets. Comparing Sarah’s tiny food intake to a big ol’ hulk of a guy, you know there would be quite a big difference! Sarah will still eat in the cafeteria occasionally but will just pay for it a meal at a time.

      You’re right– Sarah IS in an upper classman dorm but I believe the freshman dorms have kitchens, too, in order to give those students plenty of experience with budgeting and cooking. Sarah was telling us the other day that there are a whole lot of other opportunities for getting to know each other in addition to the cafeteria so that was good to hear.

  4. Mel says:

    Wow – Sarah’s dorm room is amazing. Maybe another part that is making it that much harder with Sarah is that when Nathan left, you still had one at home. Now with Sarah going, there is only you and Steve. I know that when my first child started school, it didn’t bother me too much because I still had a baby at home but oh my when the second one started school, that was it. No more babies. Hope you are both holding up okay. Sarah does look so ready to begin this new adventure. She has been through so much and is smart beyond her years. Thanks for the update and for not making us wait until Friday. 🙂

    • Becky says:

      Mel,

      Yes, it is a much different feeling when a child leaves and there is no else left in the nest. I hardly know what to do with myself.

      I am extremely grateful she is only 2 hours away; that makes me mama heart so very happy.

  5. Lesley says:

    Becky, Thank you for being so thoughtful and sharing so quickly Sarah’s journey. We feel like family and celebrate every new step with you. Will Sarah work at all while she is at school or will she concentrate mainly on her studies? Do they have a ‘parents weekend’ at the college? I love her room, so cozy.

    • Becky says:

      Lesley,

      I am so honored to consider you a part of the family and am happy to have you celebrate these steps along the way, especially this newest step of Sarah leaving home.

      Yes, Sarah will need to work between 10-15 hours a week to make her budget of paying car payment, insurance payment (which went way up after her accident) and phone payment. Of course, we are helping with some of the expenses but not all. She is looking to work at a Food Lion nearby.

      I haven’t heard of a parent’s weekend. There may be one planned that we just haven’t been told about yet. And yes, she does have a cute room!

  6. Lisa says:

    I am totally impressed with her dorm and the facilities available to her. A kitchen! Wow. So cute that they have a menu organized. Will they all cook together? Did you meet the other girls? Do they all pitch in for food and do a budget? I’m so happy for her. Hope you’re holding up ok Becky. I’m sure you can count on lots of texts and calls.

    • Sarah Smith says:

      Hi, Lisa!

      Yes, the three of us plan on cooking together, depending on our afternoon/evening schedules for each day. Some days we might all work together in the kitchen, while for other days, just one of us will cook if we have the time. Only one of my two roommates is here at the moment. She moved in last week since she volunteers to help with the Welcome Week activities for all the freshmen and transfer students; our other roommate won’t move in until this weekend, a few days before classes start. Right here at the beginning, we individually bought some staples for the room for everyone to use, but in future weeks, we will probably decide on who buys what.

      -Sarah

  7. Tiffany Hawkins says:

    This will be me next year with abby… and i am crying just thinking about it! On a happier note… sarahs dorm is incredible! I hope she hasa wonderful year!

    • Becky says:

      Tiffany,

      Whatever you do, do NOT blink your eyes. Because if you do, next year will be here and Abby will be gone.

      Don’t ask me how I know. 🙂

  8. Now, you know – I am sitting here at work, bawling. I did JUST FINE until the last photo.

    Her res hall looks charming. I can’t wait to see further pics of the girls’ room once all the “bed areas” are decorated. 🙂

    I’m quite surprised, though, that the college encourages the students not to mingle in the dining hall! That’s crucial to building “community” on most campuses. I hope (and assume!) that the university provides ample opportunity for student interaction. 🙂

    • Sarah Smith says:

      Hi there!

      While the dining hall isn’t as packed as it would be on other campuses, there are tons of other social opportunities on campus. There are weekly student-led worship services, over 50 clubs, movie nights, two student lounges, and a coffee shop! Additionally, each hall (separated by genders) has a weekly Bible study with its upperclassmen Life Group leaders. I’ve only been here for three days and I can already feel the community! 🙂

      -Sarah

      • Thanks for replying, Sarah! I’m pleased to know you’re finding your community! 🙂 Ooo – an on-campus coffee shop? My, how things have changed! We only had horrible cafeteria coffee – although I had a coffee pot in my room, which may or may not have been “legal.” lol

    • Becky says:

      Stefanie,

      I see that Sarah already responded to part of your comment so I will just say that I am also looking forward to the completely decorated room. I’m sure it will be full of cheeriness and charm!

      Sorry to make you cry although I’m thankful to not be crying alone.

  9. Sharyn McDonald says:

    She is going to do well – she can do all things through Christ . . . Was wondering, how is Summer handling Sarah’s absence?

    • Becky says:

      Sharyn,

      Summer has seemed okay so far; she will probably start noticing the absence more as the days go by and Sarah doesn’t return.

  10. Ann Martin says:

    Oh, love the living room and kitchen!!!! We only had a bedroom and had to eat in the cafeteria. Cooking with hot pots or hot plates were not allowed. One girl in another room did hide a microwave in her closet. No refrigerators either.

    • Becky says:

      Ann,

      I know, isn’t that kitchen absolutely wonderful? I love that all the guys’ rooms have kitchens, too. Equal opportunity cooking. 🙂 I can’t imagine how it was in your day with not even a microwave or a hot plate. Eeek!

  11. Ann Martin says:

    So enjoyed your post. Can relate to Sarah. I was on the third floor and no elevator. My Daddy and my “second Daddy” helped me carry everything to my room. It was the third time I moved that day. I stayed in that dorm same room 2 years and moved across to the next room which was larger my senior year. Same roommate all three years. Waiting for more pictures and posts!!!

    • Becky says:

      Ann,

      I’m sure there is an intersting story behind your life, “It was the third time I moved that day.” Thankfully you had two strong fellas to help you with your belongings. Sarah’s building has two elevators but the 5 guys that helped ran her stuff up and down the 4 flights like it was nothing.

  12. mary says:

    Beautiful post about a beautiful girl on her way to adulthood. A friend is taking her youngest to college this weekend and is facing the empty nest. To deal with that she has started an event on facebook for new empty nesters for a monthly or so gathering to play games, go to a movie, pot luck dinner or whatever for parents in that phase of life. She is a single mom, raised two boys who are both Eagle Scouts, in marching band etc. One joined the Navy and the other earned a free ride to college. So much of her life revolved around being mom and dad that she is now has time and energy to working on her activities.

    • Becky says:

      Mary,

      I love hearing about how your friend is dealing with the empty nest; she is being inspiringly proactive. Kudos to her.

      She sounds like a great mom who has raised two outstanding sons. I hope these empty nest years will be some of her best yet as she has a chance to do more things for herself now that her sons are adults. Thanks for sharing her story.

  13. Jan Reuther says:

    I know Sarah will do very well with this transition. Mom’s transition will take a little longer…and that’s OK. Painful, but really OK.

    • Becky says:

      Jan,

      The operative word here is “transition,” . . .for Sarah, for Steve, for me. It’s a wonderful but difficult time but as you said, we WILL be ok.

  14. Catherine says:

    So Glad she made it safe and sound!! Already having a great time!! Becky you and Steve should be so proud!! I am And she’s not even my Sarah!!! If you want to borrow a Sarah I’ll let you use mine lol!! God bless you all!! Go Sarah!!!

  15. Katrina says:

    Now you both teared me up and gave me goose bumps ! Snif.
    .Wishing Sarah the best!

  16. dmantik says:

    Yes, you ARE a nice blogger! :). Loved seeing the pictures. I’m glad to know Sarah has such a cozy and comfortable looking new home. The final hug pictures got in amongst me just a trifle (as in a lot–sob). Love you Smiths!

    • Becky says:

      Deb,

      Yes, Sarah seems to really like her cozy new home; her first, official home away from us! (sniff)

      Those final hug pictures (and experience) got to me, too.

  17. Mary says:

    I wish Sarah all the best on this next journey. When my godson left to go away to college he was a junior. He had always attended school with his big brother and all of us were concerned about how he would cope. He was always in Kevin’s shadow because Kevin is a big personality whereas Jack is more of an introvert. When he came home at Christmas, you could physically see the change in him. He stood taller, was more confident, had totally bloomed while away at school. He met the love of his life there. It was really the best thing that ever happened to him because I’m not sure he would have realized his full potential and how strong and independent he actually is if he had stayed in his brother’s shadow. On September 24th, he and his fiancé will be married and begin another new chapter. We are very proud of him. I know Sarah will be just as successful on her journey too. She is a remarkable young lady.

    • Becky says:

      Mary,

      You are so right–often times a young adult just needs to go to place where they can stand on their own two feet and do some growing up outside the shadow of a sibling or their parents.

      I love what you said about Jack coming home at Christmas and standing taller and being more confident. That is exactly how I picture Sarah coming home. I have no doubt the change will be very noticeable.

      And congrats on the upcoming wedding. Good times!

  18. Gayle in AL says:

    What a bittersweet day for you all, but I’m sure Sarah is beyond excited for her new adventure. Seeing her dorm reminded me so much of my son’s. It looked so similar on the outside and was kind of the same set up, except that each of the four boys had their own bedroom and two boys shared a bathroom. They had a kitchenette, but no oven (probably a good thing). Of my two children my daughter (the oldest) was always the more independent one, so it was harder for me when my son left, even though he was less than an hour away. Maybe it’s also an oldest vs youngest thing? It is such an exciting time for Sarah, and I’m sure it will be much more of an adjustment for you and Steve. She sure is eating a lot better than I did while I was in college! I’m glad she’s only a couple hours away. My daughter’s college was two hours away, so we could see her often, even if it was just to meet for lunch somewhere between here and there. 🙂

    • Becky says:

      Gayle,

      Regent actually has the four bedroom dorms available (which Sarah would have loved) but they were quite a bit more expensive than the shared bedroom.

      I loved your comment about it problably being a good thing the boys’ room didn’t have an oven. They might have used it for science experiments instead of cooking. 🙂

      Sounds like both of your kids when to colleges nearby. That is a very happy thing, isn’t??!

      • Gayle in AL says:

        Yes, it was a very happy thing. Our daughter went to Auburn University and our son went to Troy University. They were both very happy with their choices, as were we. After graduation our son choose to go to law school at George Washington University in Washington D.C., though, so he and his wife were a long way from home for those years. They’ve since moved down to Atlanta, which is only about 3 1/2 hours from here. That’s an easy drive compared to the 13 hours to D.C.! 🙂

  19. Donna says:

    Yeah, just like beckylp, bawling while reading this too!! Actually, everything she said is exactly what i was thinking too. Just wanted to add a note about Chick Fil A: It has also been the location of many “We are leaving and won’t see you for awhile” tears over the years. I think it is a great place for us moms because we know that our babies will have at least one place to eat that has great food and great customer service!
    Thanks for the extra posts this week. We all love to read your beautiful stories!!!

    • Becky says:

      Donna,

      Since we are 1 1/2 hours from the nearest Chick Fil A, we always gravitate towards them when we get into civilization. I’m glad Sarah has one so near the college. Happy day!

      Thanks for your encouraging words.

  20. LeeAnne says:

    Wow….a dorm room with a kitchen!! It looks nice and cozy and more like an apartment. Lots of great memories will be made there. 🙂 So very proud of Sarah!

    • Becky says:

      LeeAnne,

      It really does look like an apartment; kind of a nice transitional place to live between a parent’s house and an apartment of their own.

      And as you said, I know there will be great memories made there. I can’t wait to hear about them!

  21. beckylp says:

    thank you for the awesome post although I am sitting her bawling. I know that you are so proud of Sarah as we all are but I can just feel and see the pain in your eyes and expressions as you are saying good bye. That is one awesome college room. Who planned out the first week of food? I had boys and I do think it was different when they left – then it would be with a girl. When is Sarah’s first trip home?

    • Becky says:

      Becky,

      Yeah, I have to say those final goodbyes were really tough. I’m glad they’re over with!

      Sarah and her roommate planned this week’s menu; their third roomate won’t get there till Friday and then they’ll split the planning three ways.

      Sarah will come home over Labor Day weekend. Hooray!

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